


Friends or Something More

by Gingoria



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:17:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 71,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5546957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingoria/pseuds/Gingoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both hands ponder the meaning of their relationship on the eve before the final battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Having rushed through DA:O the first time around I never gave Leliana a second glance - however having acquired the World of Thedas books and replayed Origins and its accompanying DLCs I must say that she has quickly become one of my favorite characters (besides Cassandra)
> 
> This is my guilty ship and there really are not enough Hand fics out there. So in between my Inquis/Cassandra story I decided to play with the tumultuous relationship between the two former Hands of the Divine. This won't be a long drawn out story but I do plan to address the shift from friendship to more as well as the question of Divinity. With that said I hope to do these two ladies characters justice. Enjoy!

She stood atop the battlements watching as the clouds shifted and darkened above the ruins of Haven. He was coming, that much was certain. They had succeeded in interrupting every one of his best laid plans; stopping him at every turn. What had started out, as a broken and fractured last will of an assassinated Divine had grown into a force that had already begun to re-shape Thedas.

Leliana took pride in that fact as she turned her attention away from the gathering storm and over to the training field where a lone figure remained slamming shield and long sword into one of the many inanimate wooden dummies that graced the yard. The dying sun glinted and winked off the silverite armor and the Left Hand could not help watching, entranced by the grace in every practiced movement.

It was so like Cassandra to continue training to the very end, even knowing that she would be called to battle as soon as Corypheus made his presence known. From the beginning the seeker had taken her place at the right hand of the man they'd chosen for Inquisitor. She had shaped his leadership, guided his training for battle and watched his back during every battle campaign.

Leliana watched wordlessly as the seeker stopped her movements and smiled at something or someone out of the spymaster’s view. Cassandra's smiles were few and far between and Leliana bit back the sting of jealousy that the reason for the seeker's smile was not her. She sneered internally at the thought. How could it be so when the former Left kept the Right at arms length; never letting her in, never getting closer than she had to. She had fought such feelings for years, always with her conscious warning her that she could not survive another heartbreak like the one she'd experienced at the end of the Blight. She could not allow herself to fall in love with someone else who was willing to sacrifice it all for the greater good. Leliana had barely survived last time and even then, that survival had turned her into a monster.

The rogue looked down at her hands, thankful for the gloves that hid away the bloodstains that she would never be rid of. She had killed too many, manipulated too much and all for the sake of what she believed to be the "Maker's" work. She had destroyed her soul for the greater good and there was nothing she could do now but go on; go on till her work was done or she lost her life in the process.

"Sister Nightingale, a letter."

Leliana turned from the yard where Cassandra was now talking with the Inquisitor and accepted the sealed letter from her agent. She bade the young woman goodbye as she reached into her sleeve, producing a small dagger to break open the seal.   Her eyes scanned the coded words and the redhead furrowed her brow. Corypheus had been sighted at the base of the frost back mountains; it would only be days now. She gave one last glance at the turbulent heavens and then seeker beneath them before retreating to the rookery to send word to everyone below.

********** 

Cassandra could feel the hum of excitement and fear as word spread through the ranks that the final battle was coming; that the dark magister was finally bringing the fight to them. She was anxious for the battle, anxious for the end of all the recent madness. She had always known, without being told, that she would be one of the three chosen to accompany the Inquisitor when the time came. She also knew that this battle could well be her last, which was something she told herself before every battle, but the stakes here were much higher and the danger more pronounced.

The seeker felt oddly restless. Everywhere she turned she saw lovers and friends making time for one another, convinced that this could be their last night in this world. The romantic in her melted a bit at the notion but the warrior on the outside scoffed. Such defeatism was unbecoming yet she envied them all the same. She had no lover and could think of no "friend" she would want to spend the evening with save the one and even then neither of them had ever uttered the word. They were partners, companions, counterparts and opposing hands. Yet despite all those years of working side by side the offer of friendship had never been formally made.

Cassandra paused in thought. Were they friends? For the first time since meeting the former bard all those long years ago, Cassandra found that she wanted to know. She looked up at the rookery tower that rose the highest in the keep, taking note of the shadowed wings that flew to and from every few minutes. No doubt Leliana was hard at work, and on any other day the seeker would have let her question fall to the wayside but tonight she wanted an answer, and if she was honest with herself, she didn’t want to spend the night alone and so to the tower she went. 

**********

Leliana hastily scrawled a reply to the Compte of Bourgeois generously accepting his offer of a donation towards their cause as well as the use of his substantial personal retinue. Such acceptances were usually handled by Josephine, but Leliana had stepped in, seeking to distract herself from the darkness of her own thoughts; thoughts that continually kept drifting to the pains of a past better left forgotten or to unwanted feelings she wasn't ready to acknowledge. The image of the seeker’s smile kept rising, unbidden in her mind making focusing on her work difficult, especially with the sounds of the soldiers below. She paused to briefly wonder how the seeker was spending this last night before the battle before shaking her head in self-disgust and returning to her correspondence. Leliana felt the air stir and raised her head as she heard the soft echo of footsteps leading up the stairs to her tower. She had given the mages and her agents the night off and was not expecting any visitors. Blue eyes widened beneath the shadow of her cowl as she watched Cassandra's face come into view.

The seeker scowled at the dim lighting of the room; her eyes working to adjust to the candlelight and distracted by the screech of the caged ravens. Her eyes searched the room, settling on a lone figure hunched over the makeshift desk; startled when a soft voice spoke from beneath the hood.

"How may I assist you Seeker?"

Cassandra felt a short wry laugh escape her lips as she continued forward. "Most people would not be working on a night like this." The seeker was unsurprised when the former bard fired back, "I am not most people." Cassandra stood, leaned back against a stack of boxes as she allowed herself the rare opportunity to watch Leliana work. Truer words had never been spoken; there were none who could equal or rival the woman before her. Determined, deadly, stubborn and beautiful were the words that came to mind when the seeker looked at her former counterpart, though the last was always begrudgingly given and had only just recently been added to the list. The seeker wasn’t even sure when that had happened but it didn’t change the fact that such words were true. Cassandra watched as the spymaster scrawled over parchment and then rolled her replies into tight scrolls. That she could remember which was which still amazed the seeker, but Leliana had been gifted with a steel-trap mind and without that and her other gifts Cassandra knew that the Inquisition would not be where it was today.

"You're staring. Is something amiss?"

Leliana had felt the seeker's eyes on her since she had entered and she had, foolishly, allowed the gaze to go interrupted as the betrayal of warmth climbed through her at receiving such attention. She hated her weakness for this woman. It was beneath her, beneath them both, but knowing such did nothing to stem the feeling of yearning that struck her whenever Cassandra was near. She looked up warily when her question provoked no response and found herself caught in that intense gaze the seeker was so well known for. It was a gaze that made Leliana’s heartbeat quicken and made her feel as if the other woman could see past all her defenses and into the soul she no longer believed she possessed. Leliana let the silence between them grow, wetting her lips before questioning the seeker once more.

"Cassandra, what's wrong?"

"What are we?"

The response was so unexpected that Leliana could not stop herself from laughing lightly. She smiled and tilted her head slightly to the side, slightly confused by the question.

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

Cassandra frowned, hating her inability at self-expression. She sighed and continued. "I mean... what are we to each other?"

Leliana froze, her smile faltering as unease set in. Had she said or done something to clue the seeker in on the feelings she’d kept bottled away? She questioned the question cautiously, uncertain if she wanted to hear the answer. "I… What brought this on?"

Cassandra looked away from the vivid blue gaze that even the ever-present cowl failed to shadow. She felt foolish now for coming here, foolish for pulling Leliana away from her work, foolish for asking such a question. She stood up from the boxes and ran a hand through her hair. "It was nothing. Forgive me. My mind has a tendency to wander before battle. I will let you get back to your work."

She could have left it at that. She could have let the seeker retreat and know that the question asked would never again be uttered but Leliana did not. She surprised herself and pushed away from the desk, her hand reaching for the seeker's arm as the warrior turned away, her voice a soft echo as the words escaped from her lips. "Stay, speak with me."

Cassandra turned, her mind confused by the spark that sprang from the light touch and the odd thrill those soft-spoken words incited. The feeling was fleeting as Leliana's hand slid off her arm and for a moment Cassandra wished it back. The seeker's mind pushed the unwelcome feeling back, watching as the former Left walked back to her desk to pulled out an unopened bottle of wine and two glasses.   That she would have such a thing was unsurprising to the seeker, the spymaster had spent a considerable amount of time in Orlais after all. A frivolous place where wine and conversation always appeared to go hand in hand. Cassandra accepted the unspoken offer as a single glass was poured and she took the slender stem in hand. Gloved fingers brushed her own again and the same shock sparked, a small warmth blossoming low in her stomach compelling the seeker to lift the glass and drain half its contents in a single gulp.

Leliana watched, amused by the display and chuckled when the Cassandra lifted a shaped brow at her. "I suppose it's too late to tell you that wine should be sipped not gulped." She smiled as the other woman glared and said nothing. Leliana replaced the wine drunk with another pour and leaned back against a beam.

Cassandra felt the warm flush from the wine creeping through her body and mirrored the spymaster's stance before trying once more to explain her reason for visiting. "As I walked below I saw friends talking, lovers kissing and I found myself wondering at all our years together and what were we to each other… if we would call ourselves friends?"

Leliana felt her lips quirk as she saw a rare opportunity to tease the taciturn woman in front of her.

"What was it exactly that made you wonder such? The talking or the kissing?"

Cassandra felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. Once again her poor choice of words infuriated her. She opened her mouth to protest and then closed it again as the spymaster waved her hand.

"Peace Cassandra, I know what it is you meant. Besides, I know you only have eyes for the Inquisitor."

The seeker scowled as she sipped from the glass of wine. "Why does everyone assume that the Inquisitor and I are involved? We are friends, nothing more."

Leliana ignored the way her heart treacherously soared at hearing the persistent rumors about the two refuted and took a sip of the wine she had poured before continuing amiably. 

"It is not a hard assumption to make. You are forever in each other's company and he makes you smile; which is too rare a thing by far."

Cassandra frowned. It was true, the Herald did make her smile and he hadn't been subtle with his flirtations. He was a handsome man, pious and noble and yet the seeker felt nothing more than one would feel for a dear friend. She resented the assumptions made into her personal life but knew they were inevitable when so much time was spent together with the infamous mage.

"I smile when it suits me Leliana. Besides you're one to talk..."

Leliana scoffed laughingly. "I smile. I am smiling now no?"

The seeker pointed her free hand towards the hood that had become a constant accessory in the spymasters wardrobe; one that annoyed her to no end. "You might be, but one can hardly enjoy the sight of such with your face hidden in constant shadow."

Leliana felt her cheeks warm at the implication that the seeker thought the sight of her smile would be enjoyable. She paused, weighing the pros and cons of taking the begrudging compliment a step further. Her training as a bard made flirting a natural instinct but on the rare occasion she had employed such tactics with the seeker the other woman's reaction had been carefully measured. Now with half a glass of wine down, Leliana wondered if she could acquire a different response. She felt her lips curl into a slow smile as she lowered her voice to a soft purr and slowly pulled down her hood.

"Is this more to your liking then Cassandra?"

The seeker watched as the dark cowl was lowered and Leliana’s face was revealed free of shadows for the first time since the Winter Ball. The changes in the former Left struck Cassandra as she let her eyes wander over the delicate features. This Leliana was paler than she'd remembered, her bright hair darkened from lack of sun and there were lines near the corners of her eyes and mouth that had not been there before. Even with the changes, Cassandra found the other woman breathtaking in a way she did not wish to explore. She scowled at the unwanted thought and took another sip of wine before gruffly answering the smiling woman.

"It is preferred."

Leliana bowed her head slightly in deference to the seeker's brusque response and kept her hood lowered. It felt... odd to be so exposed after so long and yet she took comfort in Cassandra’s presence. They sipped their wine in silence for a time; neither needing words to enjoy a moment of peace. In the silence Leliana chewed over Cassandra’s original question. Were they friends? The former bard wanted to say yes but she had so few left in her life she would consider as such. Cassandra knew more of her than anyone else. The seeker had seen the constant grief she battled, she knew of how far from faith she had fallen and how far she would go for the one she loved. Cassandra knew of Marjolaine and of Elissa and how betrayal and loss had shaped the former bard and yet, Cassandra never judged, never allowed Leliana to give less than her best.

No. They weren't friends, they were something more - something she had no name for. She studied the seeker over the edge of her glass, her eyes wandering over the sculpted cheekbones, strong jaw and settled on the wine stained lips. The urge to step forward and taste the delicate vintage from those lips was almost overpowering. Leliana exhaled slowly and sat her glass down as she tore her gaze away. She caught sight of the little statue of Andraste given to her so many her so many years ago, turning to her faith and the soothing cadence of the Chant of Light so as to block the raw unwanted flare of need from her mind. She recited a few lines silently until the rapid pounding of her heart stilled. She turned once more towards the seeker, with a new subject of discussion to keep her mind off the warm glow of unsolicited desire threading through her body.

"Have you decided if you will accept the Chantry’s nomination if given?"

Cassandra shrugged the inquiry away as she was so used to doing as of late. It seemed to be the question on everyone’s mind once the keep had gotten wind that the two of them had been named candidates. She did not want the position; did not feel qualified to accept it but if called to do so she would mold herself to the Maker's will and do her duty.

"I do not seek the position but I’ll do what I am called to. What of you? I know you are also being considered. Will you serve if elected?"

Leliana laughed lightly and shook her head. "The fact that they would even consider me is laughable. They don't know the half of what I have done in His name but they should know enough to question my suitability to so pure a position."

Cassandra scoffed and took another sip of the wine; noting that her glass was almost empty. "You have only done what you must Leliana, as I have done, as everyone does when they are in a position that requires action. The problem is that their positions do no such thing. They are allowed to stand there passing judgment, wringing their hands in horror over what either must be done or has been done already. You act and it scares them." She punctuated the last line by finishing what was left of her wine; setting the glass down with a flourish not usually associated with the seeker.

Leliana smiled at the unexpected flair, the loyalty in the seeker's words warming her. "I don't think I've ever heard you say so much at once." Leliana paused and looked out the lone window of the rookery at how high the moon had risen; a sharp pang of disappointment flooded her as she accepted that this rare conversation with Cassandra would have to draw to an end. She softened her voice as her eyes fell, once more, to the seeker's visage. "The same could be said for you Cassandra. You are as much a woman of action as I am; probably more so since my actions are hidden and yours are done for all the world to see." She caught a flash of the seeker’s rare wry grin as the warrior shook her head but refrained from arguing against the point.

Cassandra had not missed the spymaster’s gaze towards the night sky and she knew the hour had grown late. Sleep was necessary but a part of her hated to let this rare feeling of companionship end. She nodded once and stood from her leaned position. "I should go, I have taken enough of your time." She flashed another smile towards the former bard; her way of saying thank you for the gifts of wine and conversation as she turned to leave. She stopped in surprise when she felt a slender arm snaking into the crook of her own and a soft whisper caress her ear, "I'll walk you."

Leliana caught the look of surprise that flitted across the seeker's face before pulling up her cowl. While she was more than comfortable with Cassandra seeing her as such, she still had a reputation to uphold. Besides, she didn't know how the seeker would feel if anyone were to see her being escorted to her quarters by the dreaded Sister Nightingale. Leliana half expected the other woman to shrug off her suggestion as well as the light hold on her arm but Cassandra surprised her by tugging up her own hood and pressing Leliana’s arm tightly against her side as she moved towards the stairwell.

Leliana thought they moved well together as she let the seeker take the lead in navigating their path to the armory where Cassandra slept. She curled her hand around the seeker's bicep as the Warriors pace increased; her heart pounding from more than the harried decent down three flights of stairs. Heat radiated from where their bodies touched and Leliana inhaled the faint intermingled scents of iron, leather and incense. Already lulled into complacency by the wine, Leliana felt herself lean further into the contact as her body came alive with unslaked wanting.

Cassandra frowned slightly at the press of the spymaster’s body and stopped momentarily once they had exited the keep. She turned and at once they were chest to chest. The seeker felt a jolt rock her body and she moved back an inch before studying Leliana.

"Are you sure you're going to be able to go back to your tower after this?"

Leliana opened her mouth, the words escaping her before she could give any thought to what it was she was saying.

"If the thought of me wandering the keep so late at night worries you, you could always share your bed."

Cassandra exhaled sharply as her traitorous mind provided an image of the two of them curled up in her bedroll; of pale skin and soft lips. The sight made the seeker's mouth dry and she swallowed hard and firmly shook her head to clear her mind of the impure thoughts.

"Let me take you back. I'm perfectly capable of finding my way down alone."

Leliana cursed her impudence and held up her free hand. "I am fine, besides lurking around the keep is what I do best." She winked even though she doubted Cassandra could see, before tugging at the seeker's arm, indicating they should continue. They were too soon in front of the armory and Leliana let her hand fall from the warm trap of Cassandra’s arm as she looked into dark eyes. Tomorrow the world could end, or they could emerge victorious and Leliana was left with the sobering thought that this might be the last time they saw one another. The urge to say something, to address the maelstrom of un-named emotion that dwelled beneath compelled the former bard to do something more forward than she ever had before.

Cassandra startled as pale hands reached up and pulled down the cloak of her hood and glanced down sharply as a single gloved hand cupped her cheek; struggling to hear the soft words that punctuated the night.

"You will be at the Inquisitors side tomorrow then?"

Cassandra nodded slowly as heat blossomed under her cheeks. "Yes. Varric, Solas and I were chosen to accompany him in this." She watched as the spymaster nodded one time and felt the whisper of another hand against her hip.

Leliana pushed herself forward before she could lose her nerve and softly brushed her lips against the seeker's as she curled her hand around the other woman's waist pulling their bodies flush against each other's. She felt the soft lips beneath hers part as the other woman inhaled sharply and Leliana took advantage; sliding her tongue past parted lips to taste the moment more deeply.

Cassandra felt her body roar to life as their lips touched for the first time. Her heart pounded as a slender tongue pushed past her lips to dance against her own. Then, as quickly as it had begun, the kiss was over; the light pressure was gone as was the spymaster and Cassandra was left reeling. She tightened her hand and felt the foreign object it held, a simple piece of parchment that had not been there before. Frowning she opened it and read the words written in a familiar scrawl.

_You know what was lost when the Blight was ended and so you know why I cannot say goodbye. There is much we have both left unsaid but..._

_Fight well and come back to me Cassandra_.

Cassandra read the words several times over, her fingers subconsciously tracing her lips - chasing the fleeting feelings that single kiss had awakened. She felt her brow furrow as she opened the door to where her room awaited above. She looked back towards the rookery tower and thought, for a moment, she saw a shadow pass over the single window. Cassandra stared a moment longer before closing the door; separating her from the others view. She looked down at the note again, feeling a new determination flood through her body. She would not fail and she would come back.


	2. Dreams and Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra is briefly trapped inside her own memories, whilst Leliana relives one of her worst moments

Leliana paced the room back and forth; her eyes constantly darting towards the prone figure that lay still in the sheets. It had been two days since she had watched in abject horror as the ruins of the Sacred Temple of Ashes had risen towards the heavens only to fall, in what seemed like, only moments later. Two days since the Inquisitor had emerged victorious with Varric limping at his side and Cassandra cradled in his arms; Solas nowhere to be found. Two days… and Cassandra had still not awakened from the blow she had taken to the head. Leliana had interrogated the Inquisitor, even as she issued instructions to Iron Bull to relieve their leader of his duty and sent a scout to fetch the grand enchanter Vivienne. The mage had been unable to bring the seeker from her slumber and had claimed that the only sure she could offer was time, but had cautioned that the warrior must be watched carefully since head injuries were too hard to predict and too often fatal. 

Fatal. The very word had caused Leliana’s blood to drain and she’d ordered everyone away; intent that nobody besides herself could be trusted to watch over Cassandra. The spymaster had done everything she could think of. She had gently administered the smallest doses of water and broth to the unconscious warrior, making sure to massage the muscles of the neck to assist in swallowing. Leliana had kept the fire roaring to ensure that Cassandra’s body was kept as warm as possible. She talked to her; having read in some report that doing so helped in such situations. She threatened, pleaded, talked of fashion and shoes; the very things she knew would annoy the sleeping woman if awake. It was maddening. 

We plan and the Maker laughs… 

It was not supposed to be this way. The Inquisitor had told her that the four of them had survived the confrontation with Corypheus and had ran as the world began to crumble around them. He had turned to see that everyone was ok when a force had knocked him aside and he had watched as the seeker crumpled beneath a large rock that had been meant for him. Leliana had wanted to grasp the man, shake him and rail at him for allowing the seeker to take the fall, but she stood in silence, accepting the knowledge that doing so would not change what had happened and that it was Cassandra herself that deserved her ire, not the Inquisitor. 

The bard paced even more, halting as Cassandra’s body moved for the first time in days. A twitch of those long calloused fingers, her dark locks shifting as her head tilted against the pillow. Immediately Leliana was at her side, watching as the seeker’s eyes twitched beneath thin eyelids; a grunt of pain escaping parched lips. Vivienne had warned her this might happen, warned her not to force the seeker awake if it did but it was painful to watch as Cassandra’s features furrowed in confusion and pain. The spymaster reached over, daring to lace her fingers with the seeker’s, hoping the touch would pull the warrior back to reality all the sooner. 

Darkness was everywhere; tinted green fog wrapped around her legs as seductively as a lover. Cassandra reached for her sword, her hand falling on her bare hip as the seeker fought her internal panic. The last thing she remembered after Corypheus’s scream of outrage as the Inquisitor had opened the fade one last time in order to banish the magister to it. Corypheus gone the ground beneath her feet had shaken and she looked to the heavens and watched them as they grew farther away and the ruins that remained of the Temple of Sacred Ashes fell all around. Cassandra fell to her knees, her head bowed as she sought the solace of her faith. She repeated verse after verse of the Chant of Light as shadowed memories swirled around her. 

A child’s laughter broke her concentration and she opened her eyes to find herself in the torch-lit catacombs of her youth as ghosts of her child self and her brother Anthony laughed and played around her. Her heart pained to see her brother’s face lit with happiness. As the years had passed, it had become harder and harder to recall such an image and seeing him thus only made her miss him all the more. 

“Come play with me sister… we shall slay dragons just like in the the legends!” 

Cassandra shook her head sadly, the laughing boy faded into shadow even as the catacombs bled back into darkness and the seeker once again found herself alone. She closed her eyes once more seeking the Maker’s fleeting peace as a door slammed shut in the distance. 

Cassandra opened her eyes to see herself surrounded by books, dusty and strangely familiar. The smoke swirled as mages bustled past her, their conversations threading and mixing into one. She felt the ghost of a touch against her arm and turned to find herself looking into a familiar face. 

“You came.” 

The gentle voice washed over her as it had always done and Cassandra felt herself pulled into Gaylan’s warm embrace. She let herself melt into the touch for a moment before stiffening and drawing away, ignoring the pain in those green eyes. 

“Cass… what’s wrong?” 

She shook her head, her words sticking in her throat as she backed away further. “You.. you died… at Haven… the Conclave…” She stopped, his deep chuckle cutting her off as his arms drew her close once again. 

“Haven? The Conclave? What are you talking about? That isn’t for months away. Our Most Holy is overworking you.” 

Cassandra winced as her old lover flashed her the boyish grin that had slowly grown on her so many years ago. This had to be a dream. Galyan and she had not spoken before the Conclave; their relationship had ended years before, broken apart by duty and the strain of secrecy.   She shook her head, “I have to go back….” 

Cassandra watched as the boyish grin faded, replaced by a snarl she had never seen on the mage’s face. She felt for her sword again before she remembered that it was missing and watched as Gaylan’s staff began to glow; the blue light washing over his handsome features as the library faded. The seeker dropped to one knee, whispering the Chant as she focused on the thread of lyrium pulsing through the memory of her former lover. Clenching her fist she crushed the stream of power as Galyan growled and fed more of his energy into breaking her hold. Cassandra refused to release her hold on the pulsating power, her eyes closed as she concentrated everything she had into stemming the flow of magic. She looked up as Galyan’s growl shifted into a scream of rage, green eyes slowly turning red and she watched in horror as her lover’s body rippled, falling away to reveal a Pride Demon.

The demon raged at her; his voice a mixture of the man she had once loved and a host of others. “You gave me your word… on your honor you swore to never use your abilities against me. Now look what you have done… Cassandra… Seeker of Truth… look upon your creation!” 

Cassandra tightened her fist, turning in surprise to find that it now contained her long sword. She reacted, lunging at the demon as instinct took over - her sword swinging an arc of death towards its spine covered neck. She cursed as the demon stepped aside and her sword glanced off the ground. She turned to find Galyan once more, his eyes pleading. “Why? I loved you… 

The soft spoken words took her back to their last meeting… 

_She could feel the fear her presnse at the tower evoke; felt the eyes on her, heard the hush of whispered voices as she passed by. The seeker followed her templar escort as they made nervous small talk. Cassandra tried to mask her impatience at so slow a pace. Justinia has only given her a day and it had taken half of that just to get here from where her last mission had taken her. She dismissed the templars as they brought her within view of the Grand Enchanter’s door, telling the soliders that she could handle it the rest of the way. She waited until they left to close the distance between her and that door. The seeker paused as she lifted her hand to knock at the solid wood; the sound of laughter and voices could be heard faintly within. She let her mailed fist fall against the door softly and entered as a deep voice bade her to come in._

_Cassandra felt her lips curl into a smirk at the surprised look on Galyan’s face but it quickly faded as his female companion turned, courtseying out of nervous habit. Her soft voice stuttered her apoligies and Cassandra watched in silence as the young girl all but fled the room before turning to her lover. She assessed the slight look of guilt that flickered across his handsome features and she swallowed her disappointment. In truth it made the inevitable easier, knowing that Galyan had someone else with whom he might be able to share a life with but the seeker was surprised by how deep the truth cut. For a moment she questioned her inital plan of letting herself be wrapped in the mage’s warm embrace for one last time before she ended things but pushed the thought aside. It was perhaps selfish of her but she wanted one last night with the only man she had allowed to share her bed before she let duty to sever their bond forever. Cassadnra took a step forward, closing the door as Galyan’s arms wrapped around her waist, his lips finding hers with ease. The seeker sighed into the familiar touch and smiled as she allowed the mage to lower her to his bed and surrendered her mind to thinking no more._

_She let herself bask in the afterglow as her fingertips trail over the mage’s chest before brushing back the brown hair he wore long just for her. Her heart was strangely silent as she struggled with how best to say what she’d come to say. In the moonlight Galyan looked much as he had when they had first met and Cassandra felt her lips curl in a small smile as she remembered the terror she had been back there. Time had tempered her rage and loving this man had changed her in ways she would never be able to fully understand but there was no doubt such changes were for the better. She paused as she felt her hand clasped in a soft hold as a deep voice chuckled gently. “You are quiet tonight… what is on your mind?”_

_Cassandra glanced into the bright green eyes that stared at her and sighed; there would be no easy way to do what had to be done. She pulled away from the touch and sat up, her back to her lover as she bent to find at least part of the clothing that had been shed in thier earlier eagerness to be skin to skin. She found her leather breeches and stood in a fluid motion as she pulled them up, turning towards the mage._

_“There is no easy way to say this Galyan… and words have never been my… strongest suit…”_

_She watched a green eyes were cast downwards and unruly locks fell across the face she had loved for so long, surprised when the mage raised his hand to stop her; his deep voice soft against the silence._

_“I know. You don’t have to say anything… it is true we have grown apart.”_

_The seeker nodded and sat down on the bed they had shared, her hand cupping the strong jaw, forcing the man to look her in the eye. “It’s more than that… you deserve more than I can give you. My duties to the Sunburst Throne will continue to take us in opposite directions.”_

_She let her hand fall away as Galyan nodded and she turned away once more to don the armor she had shed. Her heart felt hollow. The seeker wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it wasn’t this calm acceptence. As she tightened the last buckle that held her cuirass in place she felt a hand touch her arm and a soft voice filled the room; echoing in her head even as she rode away from the tall tower:_

_“No matter where duty shall take you seeker… you will be loved. Maker guide you and keep you.”_  

The seeker felt unshed tears sting her eyes much as they had that night and she cursed her weakness as she lifted her sword once more. It was not a memory she revisited very often and for this demon to have pulled it back to the forefront of her conscious was inexcusable. Her voice snarled in rage as she confronted the man in front of her. 

“Gaylan walks at the Maker’s side demon and he would have never dared attack me. Stop hiding behind him… show yourself and meet your fate!” 

The roar of rage shook her and the seeker leapt forward, her sword thrusting into and through the body of her lover as the demon screamed and the world fell around her in pieces - fading to darkness once more.

 

* * *

 

Cassandra groaned as she slowly tried to open her eyes, wincing as bright light temporarily blinded her. She closed her eyes once more as her head throbbed. She opened them again, confused by unfamiliar surroundings until a familiar face swam into view. She struggled to focus on those pale features as they neared her; clinging to the image in the wake of the recent nightmares.

“You’re awake.”

The lilting voice was almost too soft to hear and Cassandra felt the bed shift as Leliana sat beside her; a warm hand pressing against her forehead before moving to gently brush through her hair before retreating. It was strangely comforting and the seeker felt immediately bereft when the fleeting touch was taken away. It brought to mind other feelings she had always locked away when forced to spend too much time with the former bard, feelings brought to the surface by the brief sting of the spymaster’s kiss on the eve before the last battle. 

It all seemed so long ago but Cassandra could still feel the ghost of that burning touch and see the written words that had rang in her mind with every stroke of her sword against Corypheus and his archdemon in those final moments. She sat up, her head spinning from the movement. She reached up and cupped her temple. She could not remember anything after the Inquisitor banished their enemy to the fade but she knew she had survived the confrontation with only minor injuries. The pain in her head confused her and only grew as she struggled to remember just how such an injury had come to pass. She groaned, accepting defeat and asked the question, “Why does my head feel as though it has been split open?”

Leliana reached forward and pried the seeker’s hand away from her injury and bade her to lie back down as she ignored the hammering of her heart in her chest. The same heart that had all but stopped as Skyhold shook and she watched in silent horror as Haven rose towards the heavens. The former Left had fallen to her knees, begging the Maker to spare her this last sorrow, to take her life instead. She had been convinced that history was about to repeat itself before her eyes but she couldn’t bear to look away as the present drove her mind back into the past – to the very memory she did not want to remember.

_"I failed you Leliana... I should have... Morrigan found a way... Alistair wouldn't... I just didn't... believe... it could end like... this."_

_Leliana fell to her knees cradling her lover as the armored body shook, wracked with coughs and she watched as a single trail of blood escaped those sweet lips to trickle and drip upon the parched stone atop Fort Drakon. Her eyes scanned for injury and found none but the blood escaping her warden's lips was not a good sign._

_"Shhh my love. You're not making sense. Save your strength, the healers will be here soon."_

_She felt a gauntlet encircle her wrist and looked down into the light brown orbs that had always gazed at her with quiet devotion and a wisdom that belied Elissa's youthful demeanor._

_"It doesn't matter... it’s gone… and I… I'm glad my last moments are with you...”_

_Her voice trailed off as a deep cough shook her body and Leliana cringed as the movement drew more blood. She held the warrior tighter as she continued. “I need you to do something…pro... promise me... something..."_

_Leliana felt the hot tears fall as she shook her head, refusing to believe that this could be the end. They had talked the night before of what Riordan had revealed, of how the one who dealt the final blow would share the archdemon’s fate. Neither of them had believed. There had only been four blights; 4 archdemons slain and all from aerial battles. It could have easily been the fall as it could have been the demon itself they had reasoned._

_No. Her warden would be grounded; surrounded by friends and loved ones. She wore the strongest armor that could be forged and wielded a blade made from metal that had fallen from the heavens themselves. Surely she would prove herself an exception to this ironic rule. How could she not when she had already exceeded every expectation placed upon her: she'd re-forged ancient alliances with mages, the Dalish and the Dwarves. She had made kings and broken tyrants. She had survived the slaughter of her entire family only to rise up and become the youngest Warden Commander in the order's history._

_Leliana shook her head her eyes scanning the top of the Fort for a mage, any mage... someone who could stop the steady pour of blood and regrets from her warden's lips._

_"No! I won't promise you anything until we are away from this place. These aren't your last moments... We still have so much to do... to see. The whole world at our fingertips and every door will be open..." She stopped as cold metal touched her lips._

_"No my love... "_

_Leliana felt her face cupped by metal and drawn down, her lips pressing to Elissa's for too brief a moment; the usually sweet kiss marred by the iron tang of blood. She felt the next words whispered against her lips before her ears registered the sound._

_"Promise me you'll let yourself love again one day."_

_Leliana gasped, her head jerking up, eyes darting to see the light flicker out - light eyes fading into a dull brown that stared into nothing. She felt something snap inside her from deep within as she looked to the heavens pouring all her pain into a single cry as her heart broke for the 2nd time._

She had pulled herself from the memory with a gasp as light pierced the sky, so reminiscent of that other day, and watched as the tear in the heavens was finally sealed. She remembered time had stood still as Haven began to fall and with it all hope of her own personal salvation. Leliana blinked as her name was said and it registered that her hand was still pressing against the seeker’s chest. She quickly removed her touch only to find her hand grasped gently in another.

“Leliana…what’s wrong?”

The words were soft, but the accented tone burned the spymaster’s ears and she could not stop the next words that breathed from between her lips. “You came back.” She watched as confusion crossed the sharp angles of Cassandra’s face as she frowned and replied in her simple, honest manner. “It is as the Maker wills it.”

Leliana felt the rush of emotion as it flooded her system; relief and desire mixing and compelling her to move forward as she dared to taste again the lips that had haunted her; to assess that the woman they belonged to was indeed still with her. Soft, was her first thought as she pressed forward, her free hand rising to brush hesitant fingertips against the seeker’s skin. Warm was her second as she pushed their lips more firmly together and flicked her tongue against the crease of those lips as she sought to deepen the kiss. Right was her last as lips parted and she tasted the seeker’s reciprocation in a slow dual of lips, teeth and tongues.

Cassandra gasped against the warm mouth that pressed against hers, a shudder working its way up her spine as her skin tingled with every hesitant touch of those lightly calloused fingertips. If she had thought their brief kiss before as sweet, this one was fire and it ignited every sense, awakening every nerve of her body. She froze, shocked by her body’s reaction and pulled back, unsure of the wisdom in allowing things to continue as they were. 

Leliana fought the urge to chase that feeling that had ended so abruptly and she looked into the seeker’s eyes before closing her own and leaning her forehead against the other woman’s, noting with relief that Cassandra’s long fingers still held hers. 

“Forgive me… that is twice now I have forced myself on you.” 

Cassandra frowned at the apology and shook her head. “There is nothing to forgive Leliana.” She paused as blue eyes cautiously met hers and stared back in wonder at the conflagration of emotion that swam in them; an inferno of desire, regret, fear and unshed tears looked back at her. She could not recall ever seeing the bard look so unguarded, as if all her secrets where now on the table and free for Cassandra to read. It was a look that stole her breath and unleashed a knot of tenderness within her that she’d not known she had. For not the first time in her life, Cassandra wished she had the words to comfort her closest associate, but none came to mind. Instead, she did the only thing she knew to do; she acted. 

Leliana’s eyes widened as the seeker leaned forward, pressing their lips together once more. The bard jolted, her mouth opening in surprise beneath the unexpected assault and she bit back a low groan as Cassandra’s tongue swept past her lips to slide and dance with her own. She reached up tracing her fingertips along the hard jaw line and upwards to stroke through the short dark locks; her mind reeling with the knowledge that it was Cassandra kissing her back - Cassandra, who had never shown the slightest interest in any sort of relationship with another woman, who - had Leliana not uncovered the existence of Regalyan D’Marcall - would have sworn the seeker the most vestal of virgins. 

Long buried need forced her into action and she pushed Cassandra back against the sheets, the kiss deepening as she slanted her mouth over the seeker’s, swallowing the soft moan the warrior released against her lips. She slowly inched the sheet down the warrior’s body, her hand drifting back up to skim against the warmth of the seeker’s side as her fingertips traced the curve of a breast through the thin tunic the seeker had worn beneath her armor. Leliana nipped at the warrior’s lower lip, tugging at it gently before releasing it as she burned kisses along the seeker’s jaw. 

Cassandra tipped her head back, panting lightly as heat surged beneath her skin. She wrapped her arm around the spymaster’s slender waist and buried her hand in the dark red locks, holding Leliana’s lips fast to her neck as the bard sucked hard at her flesh. Maker…. it had been too long and she arched into the hesitant palm that now cupped her breast, a soft whimper escaping her as deft fingertips brushed back and forth across its hardened peak. 

Leliana lifted her head in wonder at the sound. She felt the hand in her hair tugging her forward and she fell back against Cassandra’s lips, losing herself in the slow burn of it. A loud knock on the door propelled the spymaster back and she reached behind her to unsheathe a hidden dagger; more out of habit than true fear of an assassin. She stole a look at Cassandra, slightly amused by the flush in the seeker’s cheeks and the look of annoyance on her features. The sight made the former bard want to laugh and kiss the stern warrior once more, but another knock banished the thought.     

“It is me Leliana. I came to see how she was doing. Has our seeker awakened?” 

Cassandra looked towards the door as the tall frame of the Inquisitor walked through it, the bright smile he flashed her causing a knot of guilt in the pit of her stomach at her earlier irritation towards the unwelcome and ill-timed intrusion. Her eyes sought the calming blue of Leliana’s and she felt a pang of disappointment to find the spymaster’s cowl back in place, her head bowed in deference to the Inquisitor’s presence; the lilting voice soft as she excused herself. 

Cassandra fought the urge to call her back, her body still shaking slightly from the slow burn of arousal the bard had flamed higher with the teasing touches and kisses that laid claim to all that those soft lips touched. The seeker turned towards the smiling leader and forced herself to meet his warm green gaze; surprised when he took a seat on the bed at her side - the very same seat Leliana had occupied earlier. 

“I am glad to see you awakened. When the world fell around us during those last moments, I feared I had lost you.” 

Cassandra felt a warm hand lay across her thigh through the sheet and she nodded in silence. The defeat of Corypheus seemed to have emboldened the younger man. His flirtations had always been verbal, sarcastic wit chased with innuendo. He had never before broken the physical barrier between the two of them and Cassandra had to admit that while his touch did not repulse her - it was not the touch she yearned for. She raised an eyebrow and twitched her leg beneath the hand, gladdened by the young man’s perceptive response when his hand slid away. She watched as that same hand ran through unkempt brown locks before that deep voice continued. 

“They want to throw a party for all of us; in celebration of our defeat of Corypheus. I’ve held them off and will continue to do so until you tell me that you are well enough to attend. I originally thought we could hold it in three days time but… I wanted to see how your recovery was going and if you would need or want more time..” 

Cassandra’s earlier irritation had crept back. She cared nothing for parties nor did she wish to receive the various accolades for the small part she had played. She knew that Trevelyan was aware of her disdain for such; they had talked of this very thing in the days before the winter ball. 

“You should not have made them wait, least of all for me. Corypheus defeat should have been celebrated immediately. I’ve no interest in a party - even if it is for a good cause.” 

She watched as disappointment colored the understanding in his eyes and regretted the harshness of her tone. The seeker watched as the tall mage stood and walked to the window, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. 

“Leliana warned me that is what you would say when I forced Josephine to delay her planning. She knows you so well.” 

Cassandra frowned and watched as the Herald turned from the window, his face hidden in the silhouette of the sun at his back.

“I must admit that I find myself jealous of her knowledge of you but I suppose it is something that comes from all the years the two of you have worked together.” 

The seeker kept her face still, internally cursing the warm flush she could feel rising in her cheeks as she pondered the reason behind the young noble’s words. She felt her eyes widen as the mage knelt before her, his warm voice soft. “I would know you better if you would but let me in Cassandra.” 

Cassandra paled, and opened her mouth to refute the wish only to find herself silenced by the firm press of his lips to her own. She let the contact remain as her mind traitorously compared this kiss to the ones she had just shared with Leliana. The pressure was the same but where Leliana’s had been softly teasing this kiss was filled with purpose and a need to possess. The insistent press of the mage’s tongue as it pushed past her lips to touch her own spurned her into action and the seeker yanked her head back ending the impromptu kiss. She pressed a hand against the hard chest that had drawn closer and firmly pushed the man back. 

“I have told you before that I cannot return your affections. You are a good man and you deserve someone who can appreciate that. I am pleased to call you my friend but that is all we ever be.” 

She watched the light in those burning green eyes fade as her words sank in and the ever present smile faded.   The Inquisitor stood, back straightening his face shadowed in sadness. “I would court you, you know. Flowers, poetry, candlelight… such things do not come naturally but I would try… for you.” 

Cassandra let the ghost of a sad smile touch her lips as he threw her words back at her; taunting her romantic notions - notions that no longer seemed to matter. Could those precious stolen moments with Leliana had changed her so much? The seeker knew not but a different answer came to mind and she knew the real reason why she could not return Trevelyan’s affections. 

“I know you would and… long ago I would have welcomed such but now… there is someone else. I am not free to enjoy your affections; if indeed I ever was.” 

She watched as the mage bowed his head and moved towards the door, his normally straight shoulders sagged in defeat. He raised his head, casting at her a sad smile. “I don’t suppose I could duel this other for your hand and win could I?” Cassandra furrowed her brow and shook her head at the suggestion. It had not been her intent to deflate his previous exuberance but she knew she had done the right thing. Hoping that she could at least leave alleviate some of his disappointment, she called out before the door to her room closed.

“Three days will be fine. I will have recovered and be able to attend this celebration.”  

Cassandra watched as the down turned lips twitched slightly and then broke into a faint smirk. “Good. I will let Josephine know. Until then, rest well seeker.” The door closed softly and Cassandra braced herself for the spymaster’s return, wondering what the former Left would say or do once she returned to the room. She stared at the door expectantly and then sighed as she lay back on the bed. It was foolish for her to think Leliana would have waited outside the door but she yearned for her return with an intensity that surprised her. She closed her eyes, seeking the Maker’s focus and driving out all thought of what had transpired since she had awakened. It was too much to think on at the moment, but all the years of training could not wash away the feel of those full red lips pressing against her. Cassandra found her lips curling into a faint smile as she breathed in the pale reminder of Leliana’s scent against her pillow as she fell into what she hoped would be a dreamless sleep.


	3. Posession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waiting for Leliana to re-appear, Cassandra confronts the spymaster's absence in the rookery. Their reunion is not at all what the seeker expects it to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must apologize for the lateness of this chapter. Work literally exploded in January and I am only, just now catching up on the more enjoyable aspects of life. Than you for all the Kudos and comments (forgive the late replies) As always I appreciate the hurrahs and feedback!

Leliana shook lightly as she held back the raging storm of what she could only define as despondency, jealousy and betrayal inside her. She had cut off all emotion when the Inquisitor had appeared, hiding herself beneath her cowl. She had waited outside the door long enough to hear that deep voice tell Cassandra that he would know her better if she would allow him. The silence that followed confirmed her deepest fears and Leliana had fled back to her lonely tower to immerse herself in work while her traitorous mind formed images of scenes she did not want to think about or see. Scenes of the seeker wrapped in the mage’s embrace, her face tipped back in pleasure as… the spymaster growled and dug her fingers into her thigh, letting the brief pain strip her of all thought.   

Try as she might she could not erase the feeling of that solid muscle beneath her hands and thighs, the heat that had radiated from between them, the taste of those lips and the soft moans her own hesitant touches had pulled from the other woman. Leliana swallowed hard as arousal once against thrummed through her, blood racing hotly beneath her skin. Damn her traitorous body and her even more treacherous heart. She could not offer Cassandra what Trevelyan could and she knew it. Besides the obvious pleasure, all the spymaster had to offer the seeker was a damaged heart and a life tied to duty. With the Inquisitor, Cassandra could live out that ideal romance she had described to Leliana all those years ago during one of their many trips to the Free Marches. Even now the spymaster could hear the brief but impassioned speech the seeker had given after one too many glasses of wine and an evening of being teased for her favorite literature.

_Cassandra had swayed slightly before leaning against the wall of the room they had agreed to share at the small inn in Tantervale. She had pointed at the Left Hand as she defended her current obsession with Swords and Shields. When asked why she enjoyed the series so much the seeker had leaned her head back and sighed. “I hope someday a man like that can sweep me off my feet, who’ll give me flowers and poetry and…” Her speech died as she witnessed Leliana covering her mouth with a gloved hand to hide the laughter that had risen from the sight. She had never seen the seeker like this and… it was adorable. It had been on the tip of Leliana’s tongue to tell the taciturn warrior such when those high cheekbones had colored and the former bard watched as the seeker’s face fell. Leliana frowned as the tall warrior quickly excused herself from the room. She had stayed up, hoping that the seeker would reappear but soon the lull of the flickering candlelight and the lure of a soft bed convinced her to try and find what little sleep she could.   Cassandra had returned late in the night smelling faintly of sandalwood and iron and Leliana, always the very lightest of sleepers, had kept her eyes closed as the bed sank beneath the seeker’s solid frame. Even then the ache to touch the dark haired woman flared and the Left Hand of the Divine beat down the unwanted sensation. A sensation that kept her up long past the even breaths that indicated her companion had found the sleep Leliana was unable to find._

The quill in her hand stilled in surprise as a similar scent wafted delicately beneath her nose and she raised her head to see the seeker leaned against the railing of the tower’s staircase, arms crossed and hair dripping. Leliana hid her surprise and set the quill down as she allowed her eyes to hungrily feast on the sight of the warrior standing on her own; once again, armor less and distracting in a way the spymaster did not want to remember.

Cassandra let the silence between them draw out as she watched the spymaster’s eyes move over her. She was unused to being studied so intently and felt strangely naked without her customary armor on. Her leather breeches hugged her legs like a second skin but the tunic she had chosen fit her loosely, clinging to the areas of her damp skin that she had not allowed adequate time to dry in all her impatience to seek out the elusive rogue. She had lain in bed for what had seemed like hours until thoughts of this woman had finally spurned her to seek her out. The bath had been a last minute decision and now, seeing the way Leliana looked at her, Cassandra was glad she had taken the time. She cleared her throat as her body flushed beneath the heated gaze and felt her lips twitch as those bright eyes once again became guarded and looked away.

“You should be resting.”

The soft voice stung for some reason and Cassandra crept closer, her head tilting in confusion for this was not the welcome she had anticipated. She hesitated for a moment before responding, “I tried but I found myself unsettled by recent events.”

Leliana looked up, once again struck by how quietly the seeker was moving closer. She was used to the sounds of heavy footfalls when the Right Hand came near. A glance down at her feet gave the tall woman away and the spymaster almost smiled at the sight of the seeker’s feet clothed only in thick woolen socks. She raised her eyes and dragged her teeth along her bottom lip before sighing and asked the very question she did not want the answer to.

“Recent events with a certain dashing leader no?”

Cassandra shook her head slowly, her eyes staring at her counterpart. She moved closer still, drawn to the desk and the hooded figure seated at it before answering the inquiry, her voice barely above a whisper. “I was referring more to the events preceding his arrival.” 

Leliana turned away from the seeker’s mesmerizing eyes, refusing to fall victim to her desire again although the temptation to do so was much greater with Cassandra’s admission. The bard shrugged the feeling away and began to scratch her quill along the heavy parchment. 

“Perhaps such events are better left to memory Cassandra.”

The seeker frowned at the brusque response and rested her hands against the rough wood of the makeshift desk as she leaned over it. Letting impulse guide her movements she reached across the flat surface and stilled the scratching quill, concerned when Leliana did not react. She could feel the gloved fingers beneath her twitching. She let the hand slide from beneath her own and waited for the bowed head to rise as she knew it would. 

“What are you doing here Cassandra? What is it that you want, truly?”

The seeker straightened up under the bright-eyed scrutiny and harsh tone of Leliana’s voice. This was not how she imagined her reception. She had thought she would come to the spymaster’s tower; that the bard would be happy to see her up and moving around. She had imagined Leliana standing and the two of them meeting in the middle of the room in an impassioned embrace. She had not expected the cold responses and it confused her. Had she misread what had transpired between them? Had so warm a reunion it simply been a visceral response to the sight of a dear friend and companion awakening from an injury? If so, then why kiss her at all? Who knew what reactions were acceptable in an Orlesian society the seeker had never embraced. Cassandra felt her cheeks flame with a hint of embarrassment, silently cursing her hopeful romantic heart and she fought the urge to flee from her perceived mistake. Instead she grit her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest, feeling more exposed than she ever had but stubbornly insistent on seeing it through. 

“I thought we could continue our conversation from earlier.”

Leliana raised her head, her eyebrow quirking upwards as she looked at the seeker and replied coolly. “I do not recall that there being much said between us.”

Cassandra felt previous mortification give way to anger and she allowed the familiar emotion to rise as she responded sarcastically, “I think plenty was being said Leliana but perhaps you were too preoccupied to hear.”

The spymaster felt her cheeks flame at the description of her previous actions. She stood and rounded the desk, her mask fading as her emotions from earlier flared hotly. “Oh I heard. I heard everything that was said during my visit and after Seeker.”

Cassandra frowned at the heated admission and huffed in annoyance. “If you heard all that was said then why are you acting like this?”

Leliana paused. She had left when the room had grown silent, not wishing to hear the declaration of love she was sure was on the young man’s lips. Had she left too soon? Had she missed something she should not have? She crossed her arms, mirroring the seeker’s stance and frowned. 

“I heard him tell you that he would know you better and then there was nothing… am I to take your previous statement to mean that you rejected his advance? If so why the silence? Such an offer was tempting yes? Your “ideal” romance no?” 

Cassandra opened her mouth to respond and then closed it as she registered the hurt laced under the spymaster’s lilting tone. So this was why she had not reappeared and why the spymaster was being so difficult. Sensing the need for clarification in Leliana, the seeker moved forward, her arms uncrossing as she reached for the redhead.

Leliana froze as calloused hands brushed against her cheeks to push back her cowl; and then those hands were back - warm and insistent as they cupped her face and the spymaster felt a jolt rock her body as she was forced to look up into Cassandra’s insistent stare.

“Trevelyan’s words and actions took me by surprise but no, I found no temptation in his offer Leliana.”

Leliana fought the truth behind those words as she closed her eyes. Her breath hitching in her throat as a calloused thumb traced the edge of her bottom lip and seeker’s low voice drew closer; the warm accented words softly weaving a web around her. 

“Before the battle I wondered at our unlikely friendship and I came to you seeking an answer for what you and I were… are ... I did not expect your kiss, nor did I know what was meant by it on the eve of such a battle... but your words carried me through that final confrontation… your note said there was much we had left unsaid between us and I agree…” 

Cassandra paused, hesitating for a moment before leaning in to brush her lips against the spymaster’s, “I have only felt like this one other time and never as intensely… I do not know how best to proceed and though I want more… there are things I must know before… conversations you and I must have before I can continue in this path…”

Leliana opened her eyes, her hand rising between them to press a single gloved finger against those whispering lips; stilling them. Her heart hammered in her chest as she held herself rigid, swallowing hard against the knot of need restricting within her throat. Her body thrummed at the closeness of Cassandra; heart singing at the sound of emotion choking the hesitant words, but time had taught her caution in the face of such things and she held herself back, unsure of how to respond.

So long had she believed her love to be a curse unto herself that she did not know if she could truly give so thankless an emotion another chance. She knew the conversations Cassandra would want to have; conversations about love, about the Warden and about the events of the past and what a future together might hold. Leliana knew such things needed to be spoken of but she was not ready yet.

And so she cupped the seeker’s jaw and yanked the other woman forward in an attempt to draw her mind away from such conversations; knowing simply from previous interactions how the power of their mutual need helped to render all else secondary. Her lips moved against the seeker’s slowly, her gloved fingertips trailing down as she traced a path from that rigid jaw line across the raised edge of the other woman’s collarbone and down an arm corded with muscle to twine with Cassandra’s. Leliana swallowed the low groan that breathed against her lips and let the seeker push her backwards; mouth opening easily as the kiss quickly deepened.

The spymaster gasped as the gentle push became a shove and she fell against one of the large posts that decorated the tower and held up the roof; her mouth once again covered by the warrior’s. This kiss was as gentle as the shove had been; all heat and fire and teeth and the spymaster moaned despite her resolve not to, her arms wrapping around the seeker’s neck on their own. She felt those calloused hands gripping her hips, pushing their bodies together and Maker help her it felt right. Leliana fisted a hand in those dark damp locks and responded with a fire of her own. She relaxed her mouth under the seeker’s aggressive onslaught and tangled her tongue with the warrior’s in a demanding dance as she slid her other hand down, cupping a full breast through the thin linen.

Cassandra pulled back shocked by the bard’s boldness, kiss broken, as she registered her sensitive flesh caught, once again, in that gloved hand and faltered as their positions reversed, turned by Leliana. The seeker felt her back pressed against the cold wood of the post as heat poured through her body; the throbbing between her thighs a once again insistent reminder to just how long it had been. Cassandra let her head be tipped back as Leliana’s lips kissed along her jaw and she groaned as that clever mouth latched onto the lobe of her ear. The suction of that tender flesh was achingly gentle even as those gloved fingertips grasped and rolled the stiffened peak of the seeker’s breast with a startling precision that left the warrior aching for more. 

Leliana felt herself sinking once more into the fog of forgotten lust and she slid her thigh between the seeker’s, shuddering at the heat that poured from between them. She raised her head in wonder that one such as she could cause such a reaction, as a whimper escaped the warrior’s lips. Leliana’s voice was fierce as she fought to keep her thin grip on control. 

“Tell me what you want...” 

Cassandra gasped as the thigh between her own shifted closer to her core. She rocked her hips seeking friction to combat the building pressure. The hand on her breast stilled, shifting slowly to its twin and she was caught in a bright blue eyes once again as that Orlesian tinted purr assaulted her ears. 

“Tell me what you feel seeker… is it merely lust...” 

Leliana scraped her teeth along the edge of Cassandra’s ear, secretly delighting in the low gasp her actions wrung from the slightly taller woman. “Or is it something more…” 

Cassandra shook her head, her mind struggling to string together coherent words as Leliana’s lips branded her skin once more. She knew such an onslaught was a distraction from the deeper issues that lay unspoken between them, but Andraste help her… she could not push back the fire racing through her body. The seeker tried to recover the focus she had spent a lifetime perfecting but what little of the Orlesian words purring from Leliana that she could understand were far too distracting; the heated whispers conjuring up unbidden images of ghostly pale skin sliding against her darker own, mouths lost in wet heat, the scents of incense and Andraste’s Grace mingling with the heady scent of arousal. 

* “Je te veux. Ton corps. Je veux posseder chaque partie de toi.” *

The seeker groaned as her mind provided the translation and she gasped sharply as the thigh between her legs inched closer and closer; the throbbing ache intensifying as blood pounded through her veins. The movement diverted her from what she was going to say; reducing her reply to a stutter that ended with a plea.   “I… I… want… more.” Her last word ended in a hiss as sharp teeth scraped the edge of her neck, marking her flesh as they bit down purposefully before moving away and Cassandra felt a gloved hand cupping her jaw forcing her to meet the spymaster’s gaze. 

Leliana fixated on the clash of emotions in the seeker’s eyes; not unlike the ones she knew must be swirling in her own. She craved that admission; she wanted the words Cassandra struggled to give but the truth of it was clarified in the dark eyes that gazed back at her in a silent plea for more. Seeing her goal accomplished, the spymaster surged forward capturing the seeker’s mouth against her own once more, her heart soaring with a joy so intense it hurt as she poured her lost soul into that kiss. Her body shook and she battled the powerful urge to lower Cassandra to the floor and take her then and there as a desperation to feel her would be lover’s naked body against her own raged unchecked inside her. Chest heaving, Leliana forced herself to pull away, to slow things down, her breath coming in soft pants as her; her voice barely above a whisper. “Maker help me I want this.. you... Cassandra but not here.”

Cassandra shuddered at the need in that lilting purr, her own ragged as she answered it. “Where?” 

Leliana felt her shoulders shake as a soft giggle escaped her lips, “Andraste help us, I do not know. Your rooms are far too exposed and, on the rare occasions I do sleep, I have always slept here.” She nuzzled the soft skin of Cassandra’s neck and inhaled her warm scent deeply, smiling as the seeker laughed mirthlessly, her low tone teasing. “Does the Inquisition’s spymaster not know of a secluded place where two consenting adults can consent further?” 

“Ah, as spymaster I know of many such places but none are wholly suitable for all that I want to do to you seeker.”

Cassandra felt her breath catch slightly, her imagination running wild with the undertone of promise in Leliana’s tone.   

Leliana shook her head a smile gracing her lips at the seeker’s rare wry humor. “I’ve agents placed in all said places.” She leaned her head against the seeker’s shoulder as strong arms wrapped around her and Leliana melted into the touch. It had been so very long since she had allowed herself to be held by another. She listened to the steady pulse that beat beneath the seeker’s chest as her heartbeat slowly returning to normal along with her own. Leliana wracked her brain for a place, any place that would afford them a few hours of privacy. It could not be within the keep, for she had eyes everywhere. A faint memory of a report from one of her men came to mind and an idea formed as she pulled away from Cassandra’s warm embrace to study the maps that littered her desk. Leliana pointed to a spot on the map that her agents had found when they had first combed the surrounding areas of the keep to look for possible security concerns. The former Left Hand felt a fool for having forgotten it so quickly. Leliana let a smile tug at her lips as she felt the seeker wrap her arms around her from behind, soft lips grazing her ear as the warrior whispered, “Take me there.”

 

Leliana laced her fingers with the seeker’s as she pulled her hood up and pressed a finger to her lips as she reached down behind the crates and pulled out a traveling cloak and boots. She waited for the seeker to pull them on before taking her hand once more; leading them both away from the tower and into the cloaking darkness of the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *French translation for as provided by Google translate (which I hope is accurate) 
> 
> I want you. Your body. I want to possess every part of you


	4. A walk in the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no where to go within the keep, Leliana leads Cassandra out away from prying eyes and listening ears to a setting made familiar from the game...
> 
> I feel I should warn readers that this is the chapter for which this story was given its rating... enjoy!

Cassandra followed the lithe figure of Leliana closely through the dense forest that surrounded the secluded keep, her hand resting comfortably on the sword she had refused to leave behind despite the light teasing from the hooded spymaster.  She trusted the former bard explicitly, but even though the bulk of their enemies lay defeated, the seeker was not about to walk unarmed through the woods in the dead of night.  She watched as the hooded figure in front of her stilled, a single gloved hand raising to signal a halt.  Instantly alert, Cassandra slid her gaze from shadow to shadow; ears straining to hear whatever had caught the spymaster’s attention.  A soft touch on her arm followed by a whisper to wait and the former rogue was gone, slipping seamlessly through the shadows. 

Cassandra remained motionless, heart pounding as adrenaline flooded her system; her hand lightly gripping the hilt of her sword as she waited for the other woman to emerge. The still silence gave her a brief moment to wonder what Justinia would think could she see her hands now.  The thought made her lips turn into a faint smile.  The two of them had displayed mostly animosity for each other during those early years; Leliana’s secretive ways clashing with the seeker’s blunt honesty.  

She had been admittedly unimpressed upon first meeting the ill-reputed “Sister Nightingale”; scoffing internally at the Orlesian courts penchant for rumor and invented mystique.  She saw no hint of the ruthlessness so often associated with the fresh faced former bard.  Instead she had later remarked to Justinia that someone so young and obviously vain could scarcely succeed at operating under the guise of anonymity.  Even now Cassandra could hear the smile in the former Divine’s quiet voice as she had merely cautioned the seeker to wait and see; and see she had.  In less than 3 months, the newly named Left Hand of the Divine had rooted out several spies within the Divine’s own household as well as thwarted two attempts on Justinia’s life all without seeming to do much of anything at all.  Despite her reservations at the tactics whispered in association with her new counterpart, Cassandra could not help but be impressed, though she would have never admitted to such a thing. Somehow, despite all the arguments and all their difference they had forged ahead; accomplishing much in the name of the Divine that would have been otherwise impossible.  

Cassandra brushed aside her thoughts as Leliana shifted back into view and reached for her, playfully slipping around behind the seeker to cover suspicious eyes with gloved hands.  Cassandra scowled but allowed the ruse, secretly enjoying this side of a woman who had displayed nothing but seriousness since the appearance of the Breach.. The seeker forced herself to relax and stiffened as a shudder worked its way up her spine as soft lips brushed against the outer shell of her left ear.

“Close your eyes and come with me.”

Cassandra quirked an eyebrow beneath the light touch but complied to the purred request, the playfulness she had thought lost with Justinia, was in Leliana’s voice once again and the welcome sound of it moved her forward. She had not heard such since the trip back from Kirkwall and was curious as to the cause for its return. She felt the tug of the underbrush pulling at her borrowed cloak as the spymaster directed her with slight twitches of a wrist here or the whisper of a word there; guiding the seeker with her body. Cassandra found herself relaxing against the distracting warmth of the other woman pressing against her from behind. Suddenly they came to stop and gloved hands slipped away from her eyes as those same lips teasingly traced the edge of her ear once more, breathily telling her to open them.

She was not prepared for the sight that greeted her. Tall trees rose into the moonlit sky, surrounding them like sentinels in an open grove that ended at the edge of a cliff overlooking the valley below. In a word, it was breathtaking. Cassandra had no idea that such a place existed within so harsh a landscape and certainly not within walking distance of the keep.  She turned to look at Leliana and paused, struck silent by the sight of the other woman’s normally shadowed face awash in moonlight.

For a moment Cassandra pondered why a woman who light so favored, spent so much of her time cloaked in darkness but as her eyes swept over the sight she found herself grateful that she was one of the few able to experience this side of the former bard.  Leliana seemed to glow, ghostly pale skin contrasting beautifully with the dark red hues of her hair; eternally lovely and the seeker could not still the slightly blasphemous thought that Andraste herself could not have been as beautiful as the woman standing before her now. Cassandra took a step, drawn towards the ethereal sight, stopping as sharp blue eyes opened to her once more. Caught in that gaze, the seeker could do naught but stare back, her pulse quickening slowly as full pink lips curved into a rare smile.

“Now who is hiding in the shadows?”

Cassandra scowled briefly as the light weight of her borrowed cloak registered and jerked the hood down; annoyed for having forgotten it was there. She stood there feeling frozen and awkward, so very unsure as to what came next. Did they talk now? Were words meant to be exchanged in such situations? Or did they fall against each other, clothing shed in a rush of hurried passion?

Cassandra scoffed at the idea of such actions.  Her scant romantic past left her ill prepared for such a night like tonight and no book she could remember reading had ever have captured the way Leliana’s touch made her feel.  This intense mix of emotions had simply not been present with Galyan, even though Cassandra knew she had loved him and he her.  She had thought herself above the swooning so often described in the romances she loved so well.  Yet here she stood almost doing just that.  Had it always been this way between herself and Leliana or had it sprang from that first chaste kiss?   Had she simply never seen it building towards this in all their years together?  How could she have worked side by side, almost hand in hand, with this woman and not recognized how sharply drawn to her she was? Cassandra furrowed her brow in puzzlement as she tried to untangle the onslaught of thoughts that jumbled and crashed behind her silence; thoughts that were interrupted by the soft whisper of the woman now standing before her, a gloved palm sliding gently against her cheek to trace the souvenir given to her by the falling debris that had marked the destruction of the Conclave and Justinia’s sure death.  A scar she had refused to have healed by magic so that she could always be reminded of the mentor and friend she had ultimately failed.

“You are always so quiet Cassandra… so serious… so lost in thought… tell me truly what you are thinking right now?”

Leliana studied the amber glint in the familiar dark eyes that stared back at her as she waited for a response.  She was unsure if the seeker’s silence indicated a hesitancy in continuing what they had both stopped within the rookery or if there was another cause but she was willing to give Cassandra whatever time she required.  There was no rush this night.  If it ended in a confession of feelings and in conversations Leliana would rather not have, then she would still have enjoyed this stolen clutch of moments with her opposing hand but a deeper part of her could admit that she yearned for more.   When her question yielded no answer, Leliana stepped closer and curled her hand at the nape of the seeker’s neck playing with the ends of the unruly short locks of hair, her voice a husky reminder of the want she was determined to selflessly deny.

“Tonight is yours as am I to do with as you will Cassandra.  If it is conversation you seek then converse we shall yes?  But…”  Leliana trailed off as she leaned up to brush her lips against the long column of the seeker’s neck, inhaling the sharp clean scent of her skin before breathing her words against the steady pulse point beneath sun kissed skin.  “I cannot deny that I want more.”

The former bard pulled away enough to boldly let the seeker see her gaze trail lower, eyeing the loosely tied cloak that hid the slightly taller woman from view. She felt the fingers of her other hand twitch as her mind began to piece together what the woman standing before her would look like uncloaked, uncovered and bathed in the moonlight. It was surprisingly not as hard to imagine as it should have been.

They had traveled together during much of their time with Justinia and as such they had shared beds at inns and communal baths as travel companions often do. Leliana had always been careful to avert her eyes or so she thought.  Her natural attention to detail always taunted her by providing what she was sure was an accurate image of just what lay beneath Cassandra’s clothes on those nights when she had allowed her mind to wander unchecked down the ridiculous paths of various fantasies involving herself and a certain brooding seeker.  Fantasies that were safe because there was no way the seeker would ever view her in such a way.

It had amused her then to think of all the ways she could try to seduce such a taciturn woman.  It became almost a game of sorts; a way to pass the time between assignments.  Even then, when Leliana had been unwilling to admit to her growing admiration of and attraction to the Navarran noble, for fear that history might repeat itself, her mind seemed to find a way for the two of them to exist beyond the realm of reality.  She felt her breath hitch slightly and she swallowed hard at the realization that all those hastily discarded fantasies were dangerously close to becoming factual in one way or another. Leliana exhaled slowly as her eyes rose to find Cassandra’s once more; the seeker’s low voice finally emerging to break the silence.

“And what… does more entail?”

Leliana smiled as leaned up, pulling the seeker’s parted lips closer to her own; close enough to kiss but still she held back.  Choosing instead to tease the seeker with her words.  “I could describe such things to you yes and with such detail that it would leave nothing to the imagination... but I'd much rather show than tell...”  

Cassandra swallowed hard, the ache she thought gone returning between her thighs, eyelids drifting shut as a clever tongue traced the edge of her lips.

“Then… will you.. “

“Oh yes.”

 

* * *

 

Slow burning kisses threatened to devour the seeker as conscious thought gave way to instinctual need and soft fleeting touches left every inch of her awakened and yearning for more.  The warm weight of the woman atop her more comfort than hindrance as deft fingers dipped beneath the hem of her tunic to trace incomprehensible patterns around old battle wounds and fresh scars.  The taste of tea leaves and mint mingled with the heat of the mouth that moved against hers with undeniable skill; she could not remember Galyan being this good.  Cassandra groaned softly, her head tipping back as searing lips traced a purposeful path along the line of her jaw, sharp teeth dragging at the sensitive lobe of her ear as the fingers teasing her skin moved slowly higher.  

Leliana hummed in approval against fragrant skin as she shifted her weight, legs tangling with the seeker’s, causing the other woman to gasp yet again.  Spurred on by the soft sounds being wrung from the powerful woman beneath her, the former bard shifted again pushing her leg slowly higher between muscled thighs to press closer to their apex.  Smirking she slipped her hand out from under the loosened tunic and rested the weight of her chest against Cassandra’s as her hands caught the seeker’s wrists, pinning them to the ground above dark locks.  Blue eyes registered the quirk of surprise that twitched across the dark features before the bard descended, taking hold of parted lips as she tilted her hips up, rocking her upper thigh against Cassandra’s core.

The sudden pressure against the pulsating ache between her legs sent pleasure spiraling up the seeker’s spine; cheeks flushed as a low moan escaped her.  She pressed down harder, increasing the fleeting friction between them. The long kiss evaporated into shared pants of breath as phosphorant blue eyes stared down at her with palpable heat.  Cassandra let her head fall back, eyes closing as the muscles in her lower stomach quivered and tightened.  A part of her wanted to lose herself in feelings so long denied but an inherent sense of fairness drove her forward.  An idea formed and she lifted her hips, twisting beneath the lithe body atop her to roll Leliana to her back.  

The redhead gasped at the sudden change in position, groaning softly as her own wrists were pinned above her and long legs shifted nudging her thighs apart as the heat of the seeker settled between them.  The firm press of cold metal from the warrior’s sword belt rubbed against her through the thin fabric of her trews, teasing at the need soaked flesh trapped within.  Leliana shifted a leg up, wrapping it around the seeker’s thigh, anchoring herself to the other woman as she rode the slow undulating pace set by her lover.  Soft lips nibbled down her neck, teeth latching onto where neck met shoulder to mark the skin there as a newly confident hand pressed against the aching tip of her left breast.  

“Maker!”

The sharp gasp spurned the seeker on, compelling her to slip a hand down to swiftly tug up at the soft material of the spymaster’s tunic; pulling it from the tight confines of the rogue’s breeches.  Pushing beneath the thin material, Cassandra trailed her fingertips up silken skin to press once more against the hardened nipple that jutted from the tight confines of a surprisingly lacy breast band.  She lifted her head to watch in wonder the reaction her touch elicited as a pink flush traveled up Leliana’s neck to stain the pale skin and sounds she had never imagined emanating from the former Left Hand echoed around her driving her to see if she could provoke even more.  Quickly before she could second guess her own actions, Cassandra ducked her head as she pushed the black tunic up and replaced fingertips with lips drawing the cloth covered peak into the warmth of her mouth.

“Oh…”

That single word hissed in awed reverence, sent chills down the seeker’s back as slender fingers threaded through her hair holding her mouth fast against the stiffened bud between her lips.  Her lips curved into an unconsciously feral grin as the seeker tugged up, tilting her hips forward at the same time.

Leliana felt her tenuous hold on control shatter under the combined onslaught of cold hard metal pressing so intimately against her apex and the tug of moist heat surrounding her breast.  She ground her hips up jerkingly as tension coiled tightly in her belly, her body straining for more as her mind tried unsuccessfully to reconcile this unexpected but welcome side of Cassandra.  Another tug of that mouth followed by the stabbing flick of a tongue pushed aside all thought and restraint as Leliana broke down pleading for more.

The moaned plea lit an unknown coal of aggression within the warrior and Cassandra wrapped her arm around the slender waist of the rogue as she rocked back on her knees taking the former bard with her.  Desperate to be skin to skin, she released her hold to reach down and pull the redhead’s tunic up and off; her own swiftly following and she groaned as Leliana curved a hand round the nape of her neck crashing their lips together once more as slender thighs tightened against her own.  Tongues battled viciously for control; Cassandra caving first in order to tug at the laces of the cumbersome breastband.  

Leliana ground down, rolling her hips atop the seeker’s hard thighs as Cassandra pulled away.  The spymaster felt the warmth of a calloused palm against the small of her back and leaned into the touch as biting kisses trailed down her neck and over the edge of her collarbone. She registered the gentle push of a hand, the slide and scrape of lace and gasped sharply as cold air bathed the exposed skin of her breast seconds before the sting of a hot mouth set her blood aflame.

“Yes… More.”

Cassandra complied scraping the edge of her teeth over puckered skin, intoxicated by the taste of that ethereal flesh, the whimpered sounds and honeyed words that poured from between those parted lips with every flick of her tongue against the nipple that remained trapped within her mouth.  Every noise inflamed her, pushing her to shift her free hand down to tug at the laces holding closed the tight breeches that framed the thighs splayed atop her.

“Don’t.”

The abrupt command startled the seeker, stilling her movements as she raised her eyes questioning the sudden shift in tone even as a warm hand covered her own pressing her palm against the flat plane of the spymaster’s stomach.  She watched as pink lips curved into a seductive smile, the firm weight atop her lessening slightly a moment before a firm hand pushed hard against her chest. Unbalanced, Cassandra found herself falling back, legs untucking from beneath her as her arms braced to catch her fall; the heat of Leliana settled upon her once more pressing her back further until her weight rested on her forearms. Warm fingers coasted up her sides as the Orlesian purred huskily in her ear.

“I wish to please you first Cassandra…but let us even the playing field no?”

A light flick of a tongue traced the shell of her ear; the unmistakable hiss of an unsheathed blade placing the seeker on high alert.  She tensed as the edge of cold metal slid slowly up her abdomen, her muscles twitching as that sex laced voice breathed against her neck.

“Trust me.”

She did but every instinct screamed at her to move, to defend herself.  Instead the seeker dug her fingertips into the soft earth beneath her hands as the blade slipped between her skin and the fabric of her own breast band.  The harsh rip of fabric rang out and Cassandra gasped as the cool night air hit her skin followed by the warmth of Leliana’s chest pressing against her.  She grunted softly as her back hit the ground, her mouth falling open as warm heat enveloped her breast.  

Leliana almost groaned as strong fingers threaded through her hair, the taste and scent of the seeker surrounding her as she used her mouth to tease and tantalize newly exposed skin.  She wanted to hear her name among the ragged gasps released in that list thickened accent. Swirling her tongue around the darkened tip of the seeker’s full breast, the spymaster slid her hand down past the scars and clenched muscles; slipping past the band of leather to slowly unbuckle the seeker's belt.  She bit down lightly flicking her tongue in time with every pull of the leather laces that had fastened the skin tight material.  Surging upwards, the former bard captured lips now chapped from the cool night air as she pushed her hand past loosened ties; fingertips combing briefly through soft curls before slipping lower into slick heat.

Cassandra flushed, a whimper escaped her lips as bow calloused fingertips stroked the very edge of where that touch was needed most.  Her thighs shook, tension coiling low, her body begging for more.  Growling the seeker reached down pressing the hand closer, gasping loudly as slender fingers parted her pushing deeper.

Leliana took a ragged breath as arousal coated her fingers, slick and oh so very wet and all of it for her.  She looked up at the seeker in wonder, watching as she flexed her fingers within in that clasp of wet heat.  Her heart pounded as she took in the achingly beautiful sight of Cassandra’s flawless body bowed in pleasure, mouth agape as soft noises escaped with every flex and twist of the spymaster’s fingers.  She wanted to watch, to see more, to take in the sight of this beautiful woman coming undone beneath her touch but the urge to feel the same moist wetness now coating her fingers on her tongue; to use every skill her sordid past with Marjolaine had taught her burned brighter.  Decision made, she gently disentangled her fingers.

Cassandra groaned as she was left aching and bereft, opening her eyes to watch as the lithe redhead slowly moved down her body, fingers tugging and pulling at her open pants.  She shivered and sat up, watching the look in the spymaster’s eyes as the rest of her body was bared.  Straight teeth flashed in a feral possessive grin and Cassandra found herself pressed back once more, lips taken in a dominating kiss as talented fingers slipped inside her once more, pressing deeply in long slow strokes.  Her body rocked, hips rising to meet each thrust, every sound caught and silenced by her lover’s insistent kiss.  And then that ardent mouth was gone, slipping down her body in a slow but unmistakable path that sent the seeker’s racing heart beating even faster.

Leliana felt smooth skin quiver and tighten beneath her lips as her hands slowly pushed muscled thighs further apart.  The scent of the seeker’s arousal wafted around her, drawing her closer and she leaned forward to drag her tongue through those folds, groaning softly as she tasted her new lover fully for the first time.  It has been almost a decade since she had last performed such an act but the the skill came back to her as if it had only been yesterday.  The rogue flicked her tongue deeper and then shallow, setting an uneven pace of exploration that had the woman above her crying out.  

Cassandra gasped, riding out the pulsating spasms each flick and twist produced; the spymaster’s name falling from her lips over and over as every muscle in her body drew tighter, tensing with the impeding force of her approaching orgasm.  She closed her eyes tight, white bursts of light flashing as the erratic flutters drifted incrementally higher; pushing her closer to the edge where she unsteadily hung gasping harshly and begging for release.  She felt Leliana shift, a slender arm coming up from underneath her thigh to grasp at her hand, fingers interlacing as the tempo changed once more.

The former bard pressed the flat of her tongue within the tight clasp of heat, quirking it upward to catch the rigid bundle of nerves that lay nestled in its apex.  The fingers laced with hers tightening as discordant breath panted harshly above her, and spread thighs began to tremor.  Leliana rolled her tongue once more, breath hitching as the sounds above her ceased for but a moment before a sharp cry pierced the night.

“Leliana!”

The sound of her name screamed so freely had her to seeking out her own close release.  The spymaster surged forward, burying her face against the seeker’s neck as she straddled a single thigh riding it's firm press between her legs.  Leliana rolled her hips, breath ragged as a spasm rocked her core.  She felt firm hands gripping at her waist, gasping as her body was shifted aside, blue eyes flashing in indignation as she opened her mouth to refute the interruption. Her words died in her throat, unsaid, as firm lips met hers in an ardent kiss that left the spymaster spinning; unwanted tears springing to her eyes as her body was cradled gently in a solid embrace that rolled her to her back.  

Cassandra slid a hand between them, tugging gently at tight black laces, ignoring the niggling doubt that tickled at the edge of her mind reminding her that she had never done this; never even attempted to, that the woman in her arms surely deserved better than such fumbling touches.  The seeker pressed on, desperate to prove the voice of doubt wrong; to give even just the smallest measure of pleasure back to a woman who had given her so much in return. She captured the hand gripping tightly to her hip and raised it above their heads, her lips slanting to deepen the kiss.  Cassandra pushed her free hand beneath the waistband of the soft trews to the wet searing heat confined within; her fingers pushing the ruined small clothes aside.  

She broke away, back arching, crying out the seeker's name as two fingers pushed deeply into her.  The second thrust went deeper still as a scarred thumb traced tight circles around her aching clit.  She grabbed at the warrior’s face, their lips crashing together savagely once more as steady thrusts simultaneously filled and emptied her.  Leliana moaned as her stomach tightened, tremors wracking her body from head to toe; every touch pushing her to a familiar but forgotten edge as the shared kiss ended followed by a ragged groan.

“I love you…”

The words shattered her, sending her barreling beyond the precipice and into bliss as every inch of her spasmed through the intense release that had been building for years.  She clung to the seeker, her anchor for all these years secure in the fact that this woman would not let her fall until the last wave of pleasure had wracked her body.  

 

* * *

 

She lay, nestled within the cradle of strong arms; watching as night slowly faded to day.  She felt her lips twist into a faint smile; her previous plan of slipping back within the walls of Skyhold would have to be amended.  She wanted to cherish this moment as long as she could; wanted to watch the rising of the sun with the woman she loved at least this once.  Leliana turned, her eyes flitting across the seeker's relaxed features; the sunrise only accentuating the Nevarran’s natural beauty feeling more than a little guilty at not returned the seeker's passionate confession of love. 

She had wanted to return those words but they had stuck in her throat, her mind reminding her that she had lost everyone with whom she shared such affection; her mother, Lady Cecile, Marjolaine, Dorothea and of course… Elissa.  Even now after all the years that had passed that name conjured up the ghost of memories never truly dealt with.  A warm hand covered hers and Leliana looked down to see warm hazel eyes regarding her thoughtfully. 

“You are thinking of her.”

It was a statement of fact devoid of any emotion and Leliana lowered her eyes.  What must Cassandra think to awaken after giving all of herself only to find the woman she gave to thinking of another?  She froze for a moment and then raised her eyes intent on apologizing but she saw no accusation in the seeker's eyes. Instead the arm around her tightened, pulling her down to rest against the Warriors chest as a soft voice intoned above:

“Tell me about her.”

Leliana opened her mouth to brush the request aside as she had trained herself to do all these years but to her surprise she found herself telling Cassandra everything; her life in Orlais, the loss of her mother, the first time meeting Marjolaine, her life as a bard, the betrayal that had ended that life, of meeting Dorothea and, finally, her time with the Hero of Ferelden leaving nothing concealed. Cassandra’s gentle silence was cathartic and the sun had already risen by the time the spymaster was through. She waited for Cassandra to break the silence, to react in some small way but the seeker remained silent even as calloused fingertips brushed over the scar tissue that covered the former bard’s ruined back.  Leliana turned in her arms, blue eyes searching gold as a whispered plea fell from the rogues lips.

“Say something… Please.”

Cassandra swallowed slowly, her mind blank under that burning stare.  Leliana had never spoken of her past in all the years they had worked together. She knew bits and pieces, small reveals that came out in everyday conversation, the scars that littered the otherwise flawless skin had already been seen and accepted but to hear how they had been obtained, to hear of a life so fraught with suffering and loss… The seeker felt humbled. Her earlier outburst during their coupling had embarrassed her; she’d felt just like one of the ridiculous women in the books she loved so much foolishly confessing her feelings abed. That same feeling swelled within her now, an urge to comfort, to assure.  She supposed most women would not be so forgiving to awaken after a night of passion to find their lover thinking of another, but she was not most women.

“Thank you.”

Leliana widened her eyes in surprise. She had not expected those words but she understood what Cassandra sought to convey and the acceptance did what passion had been unable to.  Leaning down over the seeker, Leliana cupped that dear face, her nail tracing the firm jaw as she brushed her lips against the other woman’s.

“I love you.”

Cassandra felt a shudder roll through her, the gravity and thrill of those three words being returned compelled her to capture the lips that so teasingly brushed her own and roll the bard to her back. 

Leliana moaned softly against the seeker; that kiss igniting her body once again. She wrapped her arms around the seeker, a soft breathless laugh escaping her throat as Cassandra bit and kissed down the line of her neck.  As tempting as it was to continue, their absences had surely been noticed by now - a fact she reminded the seeker of even as the other woman kissed down the slope of her breast.

Cassandra raised her head, a smirk twisting her lips as she shrugged and captured the rosy peak of that pale breast between her lips, swiping her tongue over the already tightened bud of the spymaster’s nipple; quickly releasing as the redhead uttered a low groan. 

“You are right. We should get back.”

Leliana growled, reaching for the seeker only to clutch at thin air.  She raised an eyebrow as she looked up at the graceful hand being offered to her.  Glaring playfully she grasped the hand intent on pulling the warrior back down to her only to find herself borne back to her own feet with relative ease.  A twitch in the seeker’s eyebrow informing her that the ruse had not gone unnoticed.  She flashed her lover a smirk and bent to find her discarded clothing amount the scattered pile of clothing.  Turning her head she caught Cassandra’s heated stare and winked as the seeker flushed, huffing to turn and find her own garments.  Leliana chuckled softly to herself as she heard that low voice grumbling about rogues and daggers and turned to see the seeker holding what used to be her breast band.  The spymaster smirked and turned back to her own task, dressing as swiftly as her armor would allow her to.  She turned as she slipped on her heavy cloak and looked up in surprise as a gloved hand pushed hers away to tighten its clasp.  Cassandra’s eyes gleamed golden in the sunlight as they looked down on her; the seeker’s voice soft as the gloved hands straightened her mail shirt, smoothing the wrinkles left in her cloak from lying in a heap on the forest floor.  

“I do not know if we should tell the others or what today will bring but… I am glad we had tonight.”

Leliana smiled easily, capturing the hand that rested against her shoulder, lacing her fingers with the slightly taller woman’s.  She wanted nothing more than to stay here with her, in this, a private sanctuary that would forever remind the spymaster of the first night they had shared, but duty called as it so often did.  

“Maker willing there will be many more. Come.  Let us leave this place before my will to do so completely deteriorates and your Inquisitor decides to form a search party.”

Leliana paused to lean up and brush her lips against the seeker’s a playful note bleeding into her voice.  “If that happens I do not think you will need to worry if we should tell the others as I am sure they will get quite the eyeful if they stumble upon us here.”

  
Cassandra huffed as the redhead pulled away winking.  She shook her head and pulled on her own cloak as she followed the swiftly retreating form into the dense woods to make their way back to Skyhold.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I stayed true to the characters and of course I couldn't resist throwing that damn grove into the mix. As much as I hated that the game would not allow us to romance the seeker with a female, I thought the idea of the grove was romantic (albeit without the over the top dramatics or cheesy poetry)


	5. Return to Skyhold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spymaster and seeker return to the keep, only to discover their absence has been noted; an unwelcome message awaiting within the seneschal's tower.

“Halt.  Identify yourselves.”

Leliana chuckled dryly at the greeting and raised her head, pushing back her hood far enough to allow the sentry to see her unshadowed face.

“Sister Nightingale!”

There was a pause and a rustle of cloth; the spymaster looked to her left to see Cassandra’s hood fall revealing tousled black locks and an all too familiar disgruntled expression.

“And Lady Seeker!  Where have you been?  Is everything alright? The Inquisitor has been looking for you two all morning!”

Leliana hid the smirk in her voice as she relayed the cover story she’d thought of as the two of them had walked in companionable silence back to the keep.

“Everything is as it should be.  Seeker Pentaghast and I left early this morning to… pray.  You may inform Inquisitor Trevelyan of our return. Tell him he may find me in the rookery and our dear seeker in the… usual places.”

She brushed past the guard without a second glance as she adjusted her cowl back in place and walked deeper into the keep, pausing only when she felt a hand brush her arm; the hiss of that Nevarran accent exhaling softly against her ear.

“Pray!?  That is the story you would have us tell?”

Leliana smiled and turned to arch an eyebrow at the question, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper and she walked her gloved fingers slowly up the warrior’s arm; watching as color blossomed along the seeker's high cheekbones.

“Well if memory serves I do recall the both of us spending time on our knees, our voices raised in acclamation and I am pretty sure the Maker was called upon at one point or another.”

Cassandra felt her mouth drop in shock, her face heating with the realization that every word Leliana had spoken was true.  Still…. 

Hazel eyes narrowed and the seeker glared at the playful look on the other woman’s face, her voice clipped to utter a single word as she moved to pass the spymaster and make her way to the armory to change and, at the very least, bind herself before anyone noticed she was without  **that** particular article of clothing.  

“Blasphemy.”

Leliana chuckled and reached out, giving into the persistent desire a single night had hardly sated; she found it impossible that she had been able to ignore it for so many years.  The spymaster wrapped her arm firmly around the seeker’s waist and maneuvered the other woman into a previously hidden alcove; gloved fingers toying with the hem of the tunic that had ridden up.  

Cassandra’s breath hitched as the Inquisition’s spymaster pressed her against the wall.  Supple lips finding hers to swallow the low groan that escaped them as a gloved hand slipped beneath her shirt to slide over her unbound breast teasing at its rapidly hardening nipple.  The seeker felt her pulse quicken as heat coiled and raced anew through her veins, heat flooding beneath her skin.  She had thought herself allayed by the night before but clearly that was not the case.  Though she was not so caught up in her desire to allow herself to be taken against the wall of a busy keep in broad daylight.  Breaking the kiss with the intention of pushing the rogue away, Cassandra barely managed to catch her bottom lip to stifle yet another groan as the spymaster nuzzled her neck, teeth scraping and tongue flicking before warm breath blew against her ear.

“Shall we “blaspheme” again seeker?”

Cassandra turned sharply to rebuke the former bard; her words dissolving into a hiss as a slender thigh snaked between her own, sharpening the pulsating ache as soft lips found hers once more.  She stiffened momentarily, determined to stave off the sensual assault.  The clever twist of fingers lightly pinching the aching tip of her breast wrangled another low groan from the seeker and Cassandra caved; giving herself to the knowing caresses that grew bolder with every swipe of her lover's tongue and press of lithe muscle between her legs.  

“Sister Leliana?”

The Nightingale stiffened pulling away abruptly, yanking her cowl back into place and stepping forward to conceal the woman she had just pressed against the wall. She felt the rush of blood pounding in her ears and at the apex of her thighs. Maker preserve her; if that intrusion had come five minutes later… Clearing her throat she nodded to the young man; bowing in polite deference at her acknowledged leader before replying as she banished the rush of adrenaline that still poured through her.

“Inquisitor?  Word indeed travels fast. I fear you have caught me away from my tower once again.”

The Inquisitor frowned slightly.  He had not expected to find his spymaster pressing some poor soul against the wall. He could only imagine what would have happened to have set off the normally detached rogue. He had seen what she was capable of when Alexis had sent him back in time; how ruthless this red headed woman could be; how pragmatically logical. Deciding to save whatever poor soul had gotten on his spymaster’s bad side, he struck up a conversation.

“Is there anything I can assist you with?  Or have a come at a bad time?  I can leave if you need to..”

“No. I can finish with my… agent another time.  What is it you needed to see Cassandra and myself about?  Did we miss an early meeting of the War Council?”

The Herald startled as a thin armored arm slipped between his own, tugging him in the opposite direction. He remembered his manners three steps in and curved his arm to allow the spymaster's hand to rest within the crook of his elbow.  He looked back, curious as to what agent his spymaster had reprimanded but another tug pulled his attention forward, reminding him that he had been asked him a question.

“No, no, nothing that important. I was simply tasked by our dear ambassador with telling the two of you that the celebration party will be held tomorrow evening…”

He trailed off as another question rose to mind.  “The guard you sent ahead told me you and Lady Pentaghast had left to pray…. Has there been a decision then… As to which of you the college of clerics has decided to support as Divine?”

Leliana felt her mouth tighten. The question asked was one she had been working hard to avoid within her own mind.  There was little doubt that one of them would be chosen given the lack of supportable candidates.  It was a decision that now weighed even more heavily on her heart than it had before.  It was a cruel reminder that fate had always, in the past, schemed to take away those she sought to love and the decision as to whom would be named Divine was sure to be no different.  

To be Divine was to give oneself to the Maker; a living symbol of Andraste his earthly bride.  To do so meant vows of chastity and purity. It meant giving up one's worldly desires in place of spiritual completeness; it would mean the end of the bond that had been realized between the two of them. It would mean trading what few nights could be stolen away from prying eyes and ears for a lifetime filled with an aching loneliness of knowing you could never have again that which you wanted the most..  It was not a fair bargain, nor was it one she would have chosen for either of them but deep down Leliana knew that both her and Cassandra would willingly sacrifice their own happiness on the altar that was duty because not just their faith but the very world in which they had fought to save demanded it.

“Leliana?”

The former bard shook her head and let her arm slip away from the mage's warm clasp.  She stopped and turned away to look at the courtyard below.  “There has been no word as of yet but I cannot imagine that they will delay such a thing much longer.  Already Thedas cries for the return of tradition; for a new Divine and with it, perhaps, a new Chantry.”

Turning she pinned the mage with a hard stare, her mind recalling an earlier conversation they had shared about this very thing.   “You gave your support to Cassandra yes?”

Trevelyan felt his face flush and looked away from the hard hypnotic stare of those electric blue eyes; unsettling eyes that he always eerily felt could look right into his very soul. He shook his head as a bitter sense of self loathing entered his deep voice.

“No… Even though I believed her to be the best choice, I told the college of clerics that I supported you.”

Leliana frowned slightly, the confession surprising her for a moment until the memory of hearing his confession to Cassandra supplied the reason.  She softened her tone and gently touched a gloved hand to the fabric of the mage’s sleeve.  “Even though I was not your first choice Inquisitor, I do appreciate your vote of confidence.  I know when we spoke of this my ideas seemed very radical to you; indeed there are many that will find them so, but I believe the Maker is so much more than the Chantry has allowed his followers to see.  I want the people to see Him as I do.  I want the Chantry to open its doors to all people not just the race of Andraste.”

Trevelyan sighed and nodded, “I can appreciate that vision Leliana.  The biggest question for me, especially as a mage, is what to do about my fellow magic users.  I cannot agree that the idea of the Circle being abolished is not an appealing one but I have seen what happens when mages are left to their own devices.  Like anybody the lure of power is a danger in and of itself and in the hands of a mage… that power can be devastating.  On the other hand Templar authority is a thing that will never be trusted again.  After their support of Corypheus and what happened in Kirkwall… no mage will ever agree to submit to Templar authority.  I do not know what the best resolution to this will be but I am sure if you are elected you will do your best to find one.”

The young noble paused and looked out into the courtyard, his eyes focusing on the armored figure that glinted in the daylight, voice barely above a whisper.  “I know Cassandra would do the same, if elected.  When I asked her she told me she did not want the position but if elected she would do her best.  I did not want to force the position of Divine on her… I had hoped… Well, it matters not what I had hoped it is too late for that… I waited too long..”

Leliana strained to hear the hushed words, her eyes catching a glimpse of burnished armor in the sun and looked down to see a familiar figure square off against a line of training dummies.  In a voice she hoped was too soft for the mage to hear, she whispered, “We both may have.”

 

* * *

 

Cassandra swung her sword hard at the target, her body sliding from familiar form to familiar form as she felt her treacherous mind wander through her memories of the previous night and to how easy it had been for a single touch to cause her to want it all again.  She had never imagined she would take another lover; she had considered those days behind her.  She certainly never would have guessed that lover would be another woman and that that woman would be Leliana.  Her body hummed with the memory of those bow calloused fingertips tracing her every curve, slowly reverently as full lips coaxed hers apart over and over again.  The slick clinging heat that had coated her fingers as she had joined their bodies and the breathless sounds such action had wrung from Leliana’s sex-laced voice.  Cassandra groaned involuntarily as her mind supplied the image of the spymaster’s body arching beneath hers, pale skin flushed red, mouth open panting with every sure thrust.  The seeker growled softly and brought the sword down harder, pushing her tiring body further, seeking to burn such distractions from her mind.  She had been grateful for the Inquisitor’s interruption; grateful only because she had already surrendered herself to that knowing touch and had Trevelyan not have come along when he did…

Cassandra shuddered and shook her head; pausing momentarily to adjust her form as heat flooded her face.  Maker preserve her, she would have “blasphemed” again.  She drove forward and attacked the wooden target again as the overhead sun beat down on her from above. 

 

* * *

 

Leliana stared in disbelief at the ornate letter a messenger had lain on her desk in her absence, the seals and smell of Chantry incense making its origin most clear.  Her fingers twitched to open and confirm what she knew and feared to be true.  What lay behind those seals could destroy what the previous night had brought together; a decade of longing ending in completion only to be shattered by sacred duty.  She had wanted this yes, but when the idea of her candidacy had been revealed, when she had first given the Inquisitor her impassioned speech concerning all the change that must be made, all the work Justinia had left unfinished she had not dreamed of her life taking another path.  Indeed how could she when she, herself, had had no intention on  pursuing her former counterpart and rival for the Sunburst throne.  

She stood up from her desk, too restless to work, and paced the breadth of the room, taking small comfort in the familiar din of noise the rose up from the second floor even as her mind raced with all the possible ways Cassandra would take such news.  Had she received such news before the final battle against the corrupt magister, Leliana would have been able to pinpoint such thing.  There would have been relief, of that the spymaster was certain, and of course the seeker would congratulate her with perhaps just a hint of disappointment.  Perhaps she would have asked the warrior to continue on as Right Hand but now...   

The former bard rested against the edge of the desk, her arms crossed in contemplation, but now…  she was unsure.  She was no fool.  She knew her ascension of the Sunburst Throne would not be welcomed; she knew enemies would spring forth from all corners of Thedas to protest her appointment, she knew Cassandra would want to fight to protect her from such and the best way to do that would be to publicly take her rightful place at the new Divine’s side.  Leliana sighed, her head bowed.  She knew the convictions of faith that drove her new lover would balk at the idea of continuing the physical aspects of their relationship even though Andraste herself had not forsaken her earthly lover for the Maker.  Leliana was not convinced that she could persuade Cassandra otherwise and even if she could there would be the Chantry itself to deal with.  It was common knowledge that not all Divine’s had upheld their vows of chastity but none had ever sought to force Chantry to accept their lovers.  Indeed, the former bard did not know if she could bear to have the seeker so close to her and not be able to touch her; to never again feel the passion that simmered beneath that laconic veneer.

Leliana ran her tongue over her lips imagining that she could still taste the lingering traces of the seeker there.  She frowned as she pushed herself away from the desk and walked to the window that faced the courtyard, unsurprised to see the warrior still training as though another battle were on the horizon.  The spymaster let her eyes roam freely before darting to look at the armory.  She turned back to the unopened letter that taunted her from the surface of her desk and let an idea take root.   Perhaps she had not been the only one to receive such correspondence, perhaps a letter lay waiting for Cassandra in her quarters.  Curiosity made her move, more quickly than was needed, driven by the necessity of knowing if her original assumption had been incorrect.  She cloaked herself in shadow and left the rookery behind.

 

* * *

 

Cassandra dipped her head briefly in the barrel of water left by the training grounds to cool down, her mind blissfully clear for the first time all day.  It had taken all of the morning and most of the afternoon for her to finally break the hazed fog of lustful thoughts that had seemingly taken over her.  She pulled away from the water, tossing her head back to shake away the excess as small rivets slipped down her face.

“You still train like a woman possessed.”

The familiar voice was warm and Cassandra turned to look at the smiling mage, her eyebrow lifting in amusement.  “You were watching?”

Maxwell smirked and shrugged, “It’s kind of hard to miss.”

Cassandra nodded, turning away to gather her things.  It felt… odd to speak with the man after sharing his kiss and his confession.  The fact that he had almost caught her and Leliana twice now…  The memory of being trapped between the cool wall and those warm curves caused her breath to hitch for just a moment before the seeker scowled and drove the thought away.

The Inquisitor let the silence stretch on between himself and the seeker as he let his eyes rove slowly over the shapely warrior; watching as she lifted and examined her sword before slipping it into the sheath that hung at her hip.  He still remembered the way she had tasted, the warmth of her lips pressed to his in that brief stolen moment.  How he had longed for that touch to continue, to press her to the bed and show her the depth of his affection.  Her rejection of his advance still stung and he couldn’t stop from asking the question that had been digging at him since that moment.

“So… will this mysterious suitor be at the celebration then?  Will I be able to meet the man who stole the heart of my seeker?”

Cassandra slung her shield over her shoulder, ignoring the possessiveness that rang out in that cultured voice and looked at the boyish face that stared so intently at her.  She had anticipated him bringing the subject up but the question still caught her off guard.  She turned away and shrugged, her voice carefully level.  “I do not know.  I have not asked.”  She glanced at the Inquisitor who had folded his arms behind his back, a usual precursor to his habit of pacing while in thought.  

Maxwell frowned slightly.  He wanted more than anything to court this woman, this brash warrior who had so thoroughly enraptured him from the very first time he had laid eyes on her.  He had thought himself mad for even entertaining the idea of pursuing a Seeker of Truth; the legends and rumors associated with the order had run rampant in the Circle.  Still, he had been unable to shake his admiration; an admiration that had only grown greater with every mission taken, every challenge accepted.  Foolishly he had failed to guard his heart and now he had missed his chance.  He studied the guarded hazel eyes that stared at him expectantly, waiting to see if he would continue.  He wanted to continue; he wanted to shake the seeker and ask why not him, to invade her space and take from those full lips another kiss - longer and deeper this time.  Maxwell knew such an action would only drive a further wedge between them; it would risk the close friendship he valued more his personal desires.  

Cassandra watched as the tall mage fidgeted.  She could read the frustration in him, the two polar sides of his enigmatic personality fighting for control and the way his gaze unconsciously settled on her lips told her he was thinking of the brief kiss they had shared, that he still desired more.  Seeking to avoid further awkwardness between them and to draw his mind away from those thoughts, she acquiesced to his unspoken request with a sigh.

“Fine.  I will ask.”

Maxwell jerked his eyes to meet hazel, a surprised smile twisting his lips as he unclasped his hands from behind his back and clapped them together jovially.  “Good!  I look forward to meeting him.”  He turned and moved back towards the great hall, calling jovially over his shoulder; “I do hope you will at least save me one dance Seeker.”  He flashed the glaring woman another smile and left her on the field.  

Cassandra huffed and rolled her eyes at the incorrigible leader.  “You know I do not dance Inquisitor.”  She scowled as her words were met with a deep chuckle and watched as the tall Free Marcher waved his goodbye before walking back towards the keep.  She shook her head, returning her attention to the gathering of her gear.  She would be much happier once the threat of this “celebration” had passed.  Cassandra looked towards the armory wanting nothing more than to collapse within the confines of her bedroll and allow herself to be surrounded by familiar things as her mind dabbled in new memories made; memories of hair the color of flame, of calloused fingers and knowing touches.  The seeker let her eyes drift shut to better appreciate the thought as a smile threatened to spill across her features;  The twisting sound of her empty stomach banished that thought and the seeker opened her eyes, sighing as she sat down her gear once more and moved to mirror the Inquisitor’s retreat back to the keep.  If she were lucky the terror that ruled the kitchens might be in a good enough mood to spare a hot meal and if not… then the warrior would make do with the usual field rations.  Grimly Cassandra stomped a path to the kitchens.

 

* * *

 

Leliana slipped through the door of the armory, hiding an amused smile as the busy blacksmiths and apprentices ignored her presence.  With all the comings and goings it was unsurprising that they would wave aside an opening and closing door.  The vibration of sound emanating from hammer and anvil was simultaneously soothing and irritating and, for not the first time, the bard wondered just how in the world the seeker could bear to make the upper loft of this building her home.  She climbed the stairs slowly as she let the warmth of the room settle into her skin, making the armor and hood she wore stifling.  Hesitantly she lowered the one as she looked at her surroundings.  From the spartan furnishings to the lingering scent that seemed to permeate the space; the entire room screamed Cassandra.  The former Left allowed herself a fond smile as her eyes fell on the stacks of horribly written romance novels the seeker was so keen on and for a moment she forgot what it was she had come for.  Leliana could almost see the former Right Hand curled up here, reading amidst the rhythmic pounding, her seeker training no doubt providing the focus she would have needed to ignore such a thing.  

She stepped closer, running her finger down the spines of familiar titles as well as those she had never heard of.  Leliana spotted the seeker’s obvious Tethras favorites and curiously picked up the one that looked the least read.  She flipped through the book, her eyes catching enough key phrases to provide a brief synopsis of what lay within.  She had heard the tale of the Inquisitor’s part in the creation of this newest chapter, no doubt a part of his plan to woo the Nevarran royal.  The memory of his muffled confession of love was enough to wipe the fond smile away from the spymaster’s lips as a wave of resentment and jealousy swept through her.  Carefully, she placed the book back and glared at the novel with distaste before resuming her search of the seeker’s living space.  She walked over to the small wooden table covered in reports and various correspondences.  Curiously she eyed paper after paper, looking for any tell tale sign of a similar message from the Chantry, her heart falling the tiniest bit as sheet after sheet failed to provide the proof of what she sought.  So, it was true; that which she had wanted and now feared had come to pass.  Leliana closed her eyes letting the heavy weight of that knowledge sink in for the briefest of moments; a small creak of the stairs pulled her back from the darkness of those thoughts and she turned to watch as the woman who occupied them hesitantly stepped into the loft.

“Leliana… I had not expected to find…”  She paused, head tilting as she caught the look of sadness in crystalline eyes.  Frowning the seeker stepped closer, “Something is wrong.  What has happened?”

Leliana turned away furious with herself for allowing her naked emotions to show so carelessly.  Carefully she slid on a lazy smile and turned back to the seeker and shook her head.  “Nothing is wrong.  Our last… conversation was on my mind and it occurred to me that I had not visited you here before.  I was curious if you kept these quarters as you did the ones in Val Royeaux.”

Cassandra frowned slightly as she digested what she was sure was a lie, her eyes darting from smiling blue to the slow sway of the spymaster’s slender hips as the rogue moved closer.  Her thoughts on the matter fractured as a soft touch slid against her forearm and the seeker felt herself drawn closer as even softer lips brushed her own whispering in  a low purr “I missed you Cassandra.”  

Leliana felt the muscles under her gloved hand ripple slightly before finding herself in the warrior’s embrace as warm lips pressed hungrily against her own.  Mentally she chastised herself for the lie, for the easy way all her years of bardic training had made seduction a tool but she would not deny herself this stolen pleasure.  She needed this now, she needed to sear the memory of love’s embrace in her own mind at least once more.  She let a soft moan escape her lips as she tangled a gloved hand in the seeker’s short hair, her fingertips tracing the ever present braid, wondering not for the first time what the seeker would look like with that braid undone.  Leliana felt the edge of the small table pressing against the back of her thighs, surprised when the arms wrapped around her waist lifted her to sit upon it.  Generous hips nudged apart her thighs and the spymaster tilted her head back as the seeker’s lips released hers to burn an achingly slow path down the column of her neck.  

Cassandra shuddered as she felt the heat radiating against her stomach from between the seneschal’s splayed thighs.  She pulled the smaller woman closer as she captured those perfect parted lips once more; swallowing the soft sounds that escaped them as her touch grew bolder.  She all but ripped away the spymaster’s armor in an effort to feel the touch of that pale skin, all the lust she thought burned away while at the training grounds was seeping back into her along with the foreign feeling of desperation.  Cassandra stopped her assault in that moment of recognition and looked questionably into the burning blue gaze she knew so well, her voice rough from need and disuse.

“I am sorry… I do not know what has come over me…  you looked so lost before and I.. I…”

Leliana shook her head at the husky words, denying the truth even as she tugged the seeker closer and kissed her once more, her tongue licking past parted lips to taste the Nevarran again.  She tugged at her loosened armor, releasing the remaining straps and letting it clatter on the floor as she sought to rid the barriers between them.   Battle roughened hands touched her everywhere followed swiftly by wind chapped lips nibbling, kissing, tasting.  Leliana fell back against the paper littered table, her back arching under the seeker’s attentions as her wrists were pinned above her head in a vice grip.  Her breath came in pants, teeth drawing blood from her lips as she sought to quiet the noises that threatened to spill from them.  Hot breath ghosted over her bared skin followed by searing heat as a wet mouth closed over the painful tightness of her nipple.  

Cassandra groaned as the woman above her released a shuddered gasp, the noise, the very taste of Leliana only seemed to increase this mindless hunger for more.  She released the bard’s wrists to tug at cloth breeches even as she shifted her own body lower, trailing kisses along pale skin that looked as though it had never seen the sun.  She dared to lift her eyes, to watch her lover’s reaction as she swirled the tip of her tongue along the edge of the redhead’s navel.  Blue eyes met hers as a low groan escaped pink lips and Cassandra found herself sliding lower still.

Leliana closed her eyes, anticipation rising as her hips were lifted, breeches pushed down to her knees and she gave a hoarse groan of disappointment when she felt the woman above her move away and, for not the first time, the bard cursed her choice in footwear.  She lifted herself up to help remove the impeding obstacle only to have her body pushed back down.

“No.  Lift your legs.”

The sound of need woven into that thick accent brokered no argument and the former bard did as she was commanded, unsure of exactly what the seeker wanted until she felt solid muscle pressing to the back of her thighs.  Leliana looked down in surprise as a dark head slipped between her spread legs and warm breath blew over the soaked garment pressed between her thighs.  She lowered her legs hesitantly, letting them rest on broad shoulders as she fought the urge to pull the seeker closer.  Her heart raced within her chest; its hammering mimicking the forge below them as time slowed around them, warm lips sliding against her inner thigh as a gently touch pushed ruined fabric aside.  That first touch of wet heat weaving through her folds had the spymaster’s hips rising off the table, her hand tangled in short hair as her mouth fell open.  Oh Maker, had it been so long?  Another flick of the seeker’s tongue left the bard gasping for breath, a moan escaping her as her lover thrust deeper still.

Cassandra lost herself in the taste, in the uniqueness of the slickness that coated her lips, tongue and chin as sounds she had never heard Leliana make echoed above her.  She had no idea what she was doing, nor even where exactly the idea had come from.  All she had known is she wanted to take away that lost look in those bottomless blue depths that had captivated her since they had first met all those years ago.  She wanted to give back even a small part of the absolute pleasure Leliana had introduced her to in that secluded grove.  The seeker slipped her tongue even lower, gathering the sweetness that coated it before curling the tip and slowly licking upwards.  She repeated the action as the fingers in her hair tightened and the hips beneath her lifted in a silent plea for more.  Cassandra groaned as she slipped her hands beneath the bard, pulling her closer as she shifted her mouth higher, her tongue seeking the apex of nerves she knew would send her lover spiraling over the edge.  

The first touch of that slick muscle against her clit sent electric heat spiraling everywhere, the second send tremors up and down her stomach as muscles twitched and the coil within her tightened almost painfully.  Leliana lifted the hand still encased in leather and bit down hard to keep from calling out as her thighs tightened around the seeker’s head, trembling as the spymaster tried to hold back the impending rush of her release; to fight the surrender of her body and draw out this moment for as long as she could.  Another flick, another agonizingly slow lick and the rogue knew the next would send her over the edge.  

“Up… to me…”

Leliana groaned and tugged at the braided crown between her legs as another tremor shook her body.  She wanted to taste herself on the seeker’s lips, to moan her release into her lover’s mouth.  Another tug and her desire was granted as Cassandra rose to hungrily kiss her once more and the spymaster gasped as warm fingers replaced the seeker’s tongue, thrusting deep inside her curling to press…  Leliana broke the kiss to gasp the seeker’s name over and over against the warmth of her lover’s neck as her body caved.  She closed her eyes as warm breath whispered against her ear, sweet words she craved and yet broke her heart to hear.

Cassandra nuzzled pale skin and found herself laughing softly when she realized how tangled they had become when Leliana tried unsuccessfully to unwrap her legs from around the warrior’s hips.  The seeker pressed a soft kiss against the other woman’s cheek before slipping lower to place one against the skin just above the soft patch of fire red hair.  She ducked her head from beneath the trap of the spymaster’s half shed breeches and stood.  She looked down, savoring the rare sight of a lover spent from her attentions before offering her hand.  Cassandra pulled the former Left to her feet, admiring the smooth way the rogue slid her breeches back into place; the unconscious grace of Leliana’s movements had always drawn her eye.  Her eyes drifted to the papers that had fallen to the floor and to others that were rendered unreadable by their earlier actions.  She flitted her gaze back to Leliana as a warm hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing along her chin as the bard’s lips curved into a wicked smirk.

“You missed a spot.”

Leliana leaned forward, delighting in the surprised wonder on the seeker’s face as she licked the smear of her own arousal off sun kissed skin before nudging the woman backwards.  She reached down for the edge of the warrior’s tunic, pushing it slowly higher as she locked eyes with the slightly taller woman.  Pressing the seeker against the wall, Leliana resumed their earlier kiss as she tugged off her remaining glove and began to unlace the other woman’s breeches, slipping her hand in as soon as enough space was made.  In the back of her mind the spymaster promised herself that the next time they met like this she would take Cassandra on silk sheets, not a hard ground or Maker help her another wall  but for now…  Leliana groaned against her lover as her fingers sank deep into slick clasping heat, the hungry clench of muscles  telling her that her lover was already very close.  She curled her fingers slightly dragging them slowly along the other woman's inner wall as her thumb found and pressed down in the hardened bundle of nerves, purposefully circling.  Her wrist protested the angle but the soft moans escaping kiss bruised lips made the effort worth it.  

“Maker!”

Cassandra jerked her head to the side, groaning softly as her heart rate spiked, body shaking as dexterious fingers continued thier assault pushing her to not just one but three back to back releases; the last leaving her too weak limbed to stand and she slid down the wall, clutching at the other woman’s slim waist.  “Maker,” she repeated as soft lips left lingering kisses against her skin.  She fought to catch her breath as she rested her head against cold stone, vaguely aware of slender arms wrapping around her waist.  She had never… not like that, the very memory left her senses reeling, muscles shuddering.  

“If… if I had known it would be like this… I would have taken that Orlesian woman up on her offer all those years ago…”

Leliana chuckled softly, enjoying the thought of the random tangent of thought and hummed as she lifted her head to look into Cassandra’s glazed eyes.  Shaking her head she pressed a light kiss against the corner of the seeker’s mouth before responding,  “She probably would have been a horribly selfish lover and forever ruined the idea for you.”  She watched as the hint of a smirk tugged at Cassandra’s lips before being replaced with a slight frown.  

“I should warn you that the Inquisitor is most keen to meet the “man” who has stolen my heart.”

Leliana frowned at the sudden change in subject but refrained from responding.  Earlier she would have insisted that they go find the odious man now and end the mystery but that was before she had found that letter.  There would be enough hurt passed around once the news was out without throwing embarrassment into the mix.  The spymaster rested her head against the warrior’s chest, feeling the steady rise and fall as she kept her voice level, “Do you wish him to know that the “man” is me?”

Cassandra shook her head, her eyes glancing down at the woman in her arms.  “No.  It is nobody’s business but our own.  I do not wish the world to know any more about my private life than is necessary, unless…”  She paused for a moment, her frown deepening, “Unless that is something you wish for.  I know how open you were when you and the…”

“Those days have long since come and gone.  That foolish girl has grown up.  I am like you in this; I too do not wish for anyone to know my private affairs.  In my position, such knowledge would only endanger us both.”

Leliana raised her head and looked at the dark haired warrior, noticing for the first time that the hammering of the forge had stopped.  The silence urged her towards confession; an insane desire to share the very probable news that she had been elected, to bear the inevitable tidal wave of anger she was sure the other woman would unleash upon her and to soothe that hurt with the promise that she would find a way for them to remain together.  She would do so too.  The relief showed clear and brief on the warrior’s honest face and Leliana rose to her knees, framing her lover’s cheeks before slowly teasing at parted lips; once again falling on familiar talents as a way to distract from further conversation.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the length between posting (I got caught up in life... that constant paper chase is a creative killer) Thank you for the kudos and comments!


	6. Deception Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the best laid plans fall away and even spymaster's cannot be privy to all.

Leliana fought the smile that curved her lips as she moved stealthily through the keep, determined to beat the rays of sunlight that were beginning to peak above the mountaintops.  All around her the keep stirred to life but not even the cold chill in the air could dispel the warmth that coursed through her.  She’d had to force herself to leave the sleeping warrior’s bed, wanting naught but to remain but alas duty called as it so often did.  She had not anticipated being away from her work for so long but she could not deny the pull her newest lover had on her.  Lover.  The word made her lose the battle between her will and the lightness of emotions coursing through her as she relaxed to allow the smile she had previously fought to grace her lips; her thoughts on the seeker she had left sleeping.  Rest melted away the ever present scowl, taking years from the sharp angles of Cassandra’s face, giving her a youthful innocence that the former bard found immensely alluring.  She had wanted to trace those features, to memorize them with her fingertips, her lips...  

“You look very pleased this morning Leliana.”

The spymaster jerked her head to the right to see Josephine's delighted face.  Quickly she schooled her features into one of the many masks she wore and graced her friend with a polite nod.

“It is a good morning.  You are up early yes?”

Josephine laughed at the careful sidestepping and nodded as well.  “There is much to do still for the preparations this evening.  The Inquisitor is determined to offer his guests a perfect picture of relaxed victory, if there is indeed such a thing.”  The ambassador paused and studied her friend’s face that was only half hidden by the hideous hood she insisted upon wearing everywhere.  To see Leliana so… happy was encouraging but the Antivan was unsure if she should inquire as to the cause; a smile from the former bard could mean a varied multitude of things, not all of them pleasant.  Taking a chance Josephine tilted her head and flashed the redhead a careful smile.

“Should I presume that you have had a productive night then?”

Leliana chuckled and placed a hand on the ambassador’s arm.  “I suppose you could call it that.  Why do you ask?”

The responding laugh was most intriguing and one of Leliana’s best defenses as it gave nothing away.  Josephine tilted her head the opposite way, studying the bright blue eyes that seemed to strangely sparkle and prodded further.  “You have had good news then?  Has the college made a decision?  Shall I kiss your hand Most Holy?”

She had expected her question to bring with it another laugh, perhaps even an affirmative answer.  All her own sources had the race between hands as being very close; it was truly up in the air which way the clerics would vote.  Her money was on the spymaster and, though Cassandra would be just as good choice, for whatever reason the Inquisitor had backed Leliana.  Such a vote of confidence by so important a figure could scarcely go unrecognized.  She had not expected the brightness in those familiar eyes to fade at her tease, the carefree smile flickering in hesitant uncertainty.  

“There had been no word as of yet on that front.”

The coolness in the spymaster’s tone did not go unnoticed and Josephine puzzled as to its cause.  She had discussed the topic with Leliana on multiple occasions and in every conversation prior, the other woman had portrayed excitement at the prospect of all the changes she could usher in.  To see her so despondent was… even more curious.  Had something happened to change her mind?  Frowning slightly the ambassador reached out, her hand resting against Leliana’s arm.

“Has something happened since we last spoke?  Does the thought of taking the Sunburst Throne no longer interest you?”

Leliana exhaled slowly and closed her eyes lest they betray her as easily as her words so clearly had; it was easy to forget that out of all the people still left in the world, the Antivan knew her best.  A part of her wanted to tell Josephine, to confess what had occurred between Cassandra and herself, to share her happiness with another but she could not force the words from her lips.  It was all too new, too precious a secret to reveal and though she trusted the Antivan implicitly she did not want to involve the younger woman in her deception.  The spymaster schooled her features again, allowing a tired smile to grace her lips.

“No, there is just so much to consider, so much to do and so many choices I must consider if I am to be the next Divine; not the least of which is who to appoint as my Left and Right Hands.”

Josephine chuckled and shook her head.  “I understand the concern on who to appoint as your Left but surely Cassandra would agree continue on as your Right Hand.  I cannot imagine a more appropriate candidate nor can I see her bearing you any ill will for being elected in her stead.”

She watched as a shadow crossed over her friend’s face but it was gone in the next instant, covered by another soft laugh and the flash of a bright smile.

“Really Josie, you act as though my election is all but guaranteed.”

Deciding that a change of subject was definitely in order, Leliana tapped a finger against the ambassador’s clipboard and tsked.  “I should let you get back to work.  If I know our Inquisitor he will be up soon and making changes that will have you either pulling out your hair or sneaking sips of brandy in-between his many visits.”

The Antivan laughed, nodding her assent.  “It seems you know me too well my friend.”  She paused and fixed her the spymaster with a knowing stare.  “And I know you well enough to know when I am being dismissed.  I will see you at the celebrations tonight yes?”  

She watched carefully as another look of uncertainty passed over the spymaster’s face and frowned slightly.  It was terribly unlike Leliana to miss a chance to, at the very least, gather hordes of ruinous intel on the many guests who were slotted to attend; intel she had always delighted in sharing with the ambassador over tea the next day.  Josephine rarely pushed her friend for information but perhaps…

“Leliana… what has you so troubled?  I have known you many years and… while I accept there is much that you do that you can not share it is rare to see you so… unsettled.  Is it truly what awaits you if elected or has…”  She faltered as her friend turned away and almost missed the sigh of words that escaped the Left.

“I wish I could tell you Josie I do.  It would lift a heavy burden from my heart but I dare not… not when so much is uncertain.”

The ambassador nodded, she would push no more.  Instead she brightened her voice and nudged the spymaster’s shoulder.  “Perhaps you will come and rescue me later from Inquisitor Trevelyan’s exuberance yes?  Tea would be nice.”

Leliana turned and smiled at her friend, grateful that the subject had been dropped for the time being.  Knowing Josephine as well as she did, she imagined it would come up again but for the moment she was safe from any further inquiries.

“Perhaps I shall.”

She caught the flash of white as the Antivan returned her smile before turning towards her tower, letting the falsity fade from her lips before she ascended the steps.  Josephine's voice echoed in her mind as she pondered the pros and cons of attending tonight's festivities.  True she thrived at gatherings such as this and she  **had** promised Cassandra she would attend.  She paused her thoughts at the flash of metal that gleamed below and felt her heart lift once more as she watched the seeker attack the inanimate training dummy with vigor.  Leliana allowed herself another selfish moment before continuing up the stairs; duty was, as always, a harsh mistress that was better obeyed than ignored and there was still much to do.  

 

* * *

 

Cassandra rolled her shoulders, feeling refreshed from the baths though the cold water did little to soothe the ache in her muscles.  She fought the roll of her eyes as two servant’s darted around her, their soft voices and high pitched giggles grating on every nerve. She studied the decorations being hung in the rafters above and grimaced at the thought of what would transpire behind these walls in a few hour’s time. The seeker scanned the hall, hoping for a flash of a dark hood, of red hair and pale skin but was unsurprised when her search came up empty.  She had not seen the Spymaster since the night before and, in truth, it has surprised her that Leliana had stayed as long as she had.  She knew the spymaster’s work was far from over, that she was still sending agents out on missions, sending directives and missives to the ones still in the field.  The defeat of Corypheus did not mean that their work was through, so much of the continued success for the Inquisition would rely on alliances made and defectors silenced.  

Cassandra sighed as she stepped back onto the grounds.  She had never made it her goal to know exactly what the Left Hand did to accomplish what was accomplished, but she was not a fool.  Leliana had a talent for dealing in subterfuge and secrets.  Even with no Divine to direct her, the former bard would instinctively know the right course of action even if it was one the Seeker could never agree with.  So she had always done her best not to pry, to merely accept the reports and never question the tactics used to gain the results.  

Cassandra sighed once more as she stepped out into the sun; she felt restless.  She had already trained for hours this morning, she had led the troops through their drills and even sparred again with Cullen and Blackwall, yet there was a nervous energy that would not leave her.  She supposed she was anxious for the day to be done and the victory celebration to be finally over.  The seeker walked on, not caring where her feet took her and was startled to find herself front of the lonely chapel that held a depiction of Andraste.  Few used this place it seemed but Mother Giselle had been diligent in keeping the candles lit and the incense burning; sights and smells that had always brought her comfort now only increased the disquiet of her thoughts.  She paused for a moment before entering the holy place, closing the door softly before kneeling on the cold stone.  She closed her eyes, focusing on emptying herself of all emotion and thought while whispering the Chant as she meditated.  The words soothed but her mind would not bend to her will.  Flashes of the spymaster’s face, her voice, her... body floated behind the seeker’s closed eyes and she found herself reliving those stolen moments together.  

It suddenly occurred to her that they had not spoken of the College of Clerics since eve of that final battle, but the decision continued to loom over them both.  She could tell it was so in the way they had both chosen  **not** to speak of it.  To be Divine had never been a goal of hers, had never even crossed into her realm of thought until her attendance had been demanded; an annoyance she had harshly declined.  Her life was an open book, its pages sung every year, much to her dismay.  There was no need to “vet” her for a candidacy, that in truth, she did not want, did not feel suited for.  With the Seekers scattered and decimated she felt it her duty to gather what was left of her order, to lead them to truth once again.  No more secrets, no more lies and the Rite of Tranquility would be used by Templars no more.  Instead it would be the harshest of punishments dealt by Seekers and Seekers alone and only for mages who had  **proven** dangerous to themselves or to others.  Never again would it be used to subject the mages to another’s will.

Cassandra stood reluctantly; the peace of the Chant proving impossible now that her thoughts flowed so easily to the woman who now shared her bed.  The very thought wrung a wry smile from the seeker’s lips as she thought on the absurdity of such a statement.  Years, no mere weeks, ago she would have balked at such an idea.  She had never claimed an attraction to women; indeed more times than not the “fairer” sex tended to agitate rather than arouse.  Leliana was… different though.  From their first meeting the seeker had been drawn to the other woman; a woman she was convinced was simply a pretty face who would be unable to fulfill the complications of her assigned duties.  Time had proven her wrong, arguments and objections only drawing the two of them closer until they became a powerful duet of Divine duty.

The thought made the warrior smile.  The former bard would, no doubt, shine in the halls of Val Royeaux.  Her skill at the Game would make her a more cunning Divine than the Grand Clerics had ever dealt with and the changes she would bring with her would fly in the face of tradition.  None of which would win her any popularity contests but the two of them had already started in breaking tradition when they had declared the Inquisition reborn.

_ A Divine cannot be seen to take a lover.  She must be as pure as Holy Andraste herself.  If chosen there would be vows… vows that would marry her to the Maker. _

The thought cut through her deeply and the seeker winced.  It was a risk she had taken when she had climbed those steps the other night.  The thought had been shoved to the furthest reaches of her mind as she chose to do what she never did, and allow her emotions to sweep away the protests of her better judgement.  Perhaps it had been a mistake but there was no going back now, nor did she want to.  If the past few nights were all she would ever know of the Left then she would cherish them.  She had chosen the high road once before and would do so again though this time it would be much harder.  She had loved Galyan but she had not grown with him as she had Leliana.  To be tied to another for so many years, to only realize the full potential of those binding ties for but a few days…  Cassandra shook her head.  No. She would not think of this now.  There had been no word from the Grand Cathedral, no inkling of whom they might choose.  It did not make sense to play with the what ifs, if the future had not yet been set.  She bowed her head once more before gathering her discarded sword and exiting the small chapel, her heart much heavier than when she had entered.

 

* * *

 

The seeker fought the curl of her lip as the talented quartet struck up yet another ballad.  She had only just arrived and already she wanted to leave.  The impolite stares and nods of respect made it very clear that the story of that final battle had already been told and retold several times prior to her arrival.  Cassandra huffed as she took a sip of the wine that seemed to constantly be refilled by any number of nameless and faceless servants.  Maker preserve her.  She could not bear another ten years of being reminded of her heroic conquests.  The Orlesians had already perverted the tale of her saving the Divine, so there was little hope in thinking they would not do the same with this one.  If the tale of her being made the Hero of Orlais was any indication by this time next year it would be told that she had saved the Inquisitor from the jaws of yet, another dragon while riding the corpse of Corypheus.  

The seeker frowned as she repeated her words back to herself, scowling at the clumsiness of her words.  She raised an eyebrow at the wine glass and cautiously set it aside; clearly she’d had enough.  Cassandra watched carefully as the Herald slowly made his way around the room, carefully pausing to take time with each guest.  He was a natural at this Game the nobility played, a game Cassandra had no desire to learn.  She scanned the room once more for the spymaster, biting back a sigh of disappointment.  

“I can’t decide if you look more relaxed or just pissed off right now seeker. Lighten up, it's a party..”

Cassandra turned, fixing a murderous glare at her least favorite dwarf.  She had not forgiven or forgotten his deception.  Narrowing her eyes the seeker crossed her arms over her chest.  “I know it is a party.  Nobody asked for your opinion on the matter Varric.”

The writer cocked his head at the venom in the warrior’s tone and held up his hands in surrender.  “Ok... I will just let you go back to  **not** having fun.”

Cassandra huffed, “I have never claimed to enjoy such events but as parties go this one is not wholly insufferable. At least Josephine refrained from ordering dishes with names like the “the ham of exquisite misery” or the “cheese of despair” although why anyone,” she paused as another servant went by before continuing “would garnish  **anything** with a deep mushroom is beyond me.”

Varric grinned widely in disbelief, chuckling under his breath at the stream of words that had flowed from the seekers mouth, unable to recall the last time she had said so much in a single setting. He eyed the goblet of wine that had been set to the side and felt his grin widen.

“And the wine isn't too bad either.”

Cassandra felt her cheeks flush and shot the archer a withering look.  Her voice rising in indignation.  “I am not drunk Varric -”

“Well that is a shame to hear.  I was hoping to find your inhibitions lowered enough to agree to walk in the gardens with me whilst the rest of our noble female guests looked on with envy.”

Cassandra turned sharply at the deep voice that had smoothly interjected and found herself staring at a familiar grin.  She rolled her eyes at the flirtatious tone and waved her hand.  “That would take an impossible amount of wine Inquisitor.”

Maxwell laughed at the sharpness of the Nevarran’s reply, exchanging a wink with Varric before cocking an eyebrow towards the disapproving woman.

“That almost sounds like a challenge seeker.”

Cassandra's answering huff only served to feed his good humor.  He studied the tall warrior, his eyes drifting over the familiar form in silent appreciation before flashing her another smile as he extended his hand.

“All joking aside, I believe I was promised a dance.”

The seeker felt a smile tug at her lips and raised an eyebrow quizzically.  “You do realize I never actually agreed to your request Inquisitor?  If I recall our conversation correctly, I believe I told you that I do not dance”  She watched as the mage’s mouth pouted, his brow furrowed in remembrance for a moment before the young man broke out into a wide grin, his deep voice jovial.

“You’re right!  But think of all the tongues that we shall set wagging from here to Orlais.  Isn’t that reason enough to try?”

Cassandra found herself laughing as the noble nudged her arm and for a moment she was tempted to allow herself to be led out onto the dance floor.  In truth she  **did** know how to dance, the lessons having been drilled into her by one of the many governesses her uncle had hired in his efforts to turn her into, what he had considered to be, a proper Navarran lady.  She had begrudgingly attended only after Anthony had whispered that if one watched a battle, the footwork a warrior needed to use was not all that different than the grace displayed on a ballroom floor.  The memory made her smile falter and she waved away the incorrigible leader.  “Perhaps another time Inquisitor.”

The young Trevelyan sighed under his breath and bowed to the seeker.  “As you wish my lady.”  He straightened up, his eyes scanning the room, sizing up the companions he’d had yet to talk to and nobles still left to charm.  He cast one last lingering look at the tall woman at his side, noting how those light hazel eyes seemed to flick towards the exits even as they too scanned the crowd.  He wondered if she was looking for her lover, his unnamed rival, in the throngs of elegantly dressed bodies.  Maxwell followed the unwavering gaze as it settled on the door that led to the tower above them and felt his lips twitch in amusement.

“So my rival  **is** another mage then?”

Cassandra frowned as she scanned the crowd again.  She had thought she’d seen a flash of a familiar purple cowl but the vision was gone, her attention once more being demanded by the laughing voice of the Herald.  She turned to glare at the mage, her gaze falling on Varric instead as the dwarfs incredulous laughter rang above the din of conversation and music.

“Rival?  You make it sound as though you are trying to court our… wait…  is  **that** why you pestered me to continue writing Swords and Shields?  So you could give it to her… because you wanted to...  _ court _ her?”  No, no, no… this is too... “

The seeker grunted, her tone turning chilly as she crossed her arms over her chest.  “And why is that so unbelievable dwarf?”  

Cassandra rolled her eyes in disgust as her question only brought more laughter from the insufferable rogue.  She glanced at the Inquisitor who shrugged in response and then took a step towards the current object of her irritation only to have the dwarf sidestep her advance and move away.  His deep voice still containing tones of mirth as he bid her and Inquisitor goodbye.

“I knew you were into some weird shit Inquisitor but if you are courting the seeker you must  **really** enjoy the unspeakable.  If I know Cassandra you’ll be kidnapped and held against your will in less than a week… if you’re lucky.”

The storyteller turned to look at the red-faced seeker, unsure if the warrior’s current color was due more to her horrified rage or acute embarrassment.  He’d heard the whispers around the keep that had pointed to the Herald of Andraste’s infatuation with the Seeker of Truth but he had chalked it up to jealous or wishful thinking.  The two of them were together often because the Inquisition demanded, or so he had thought.  Perhaps it had turned into something more.  Varric grinned even wider as thoughts of how he could capitalize on such a pairing.  He grabbed another glass of wine off a passing servant’s tray and raised it in a mocking toast to the tall angry woman whose murderous look would surely have killed him, if such things were possible, before losing himself in the crowd.

Cassandra growled and grabbed her own forgotten glass of wine and drained its contents.  She would get Varric back for his cheek if it was the last thing she did.  She turned at the sound of a voice clearing and watched as the Inquisitor ran a hand through his brown locks, his smile a silent apology for the dwarf he had always called friend.

“I apologize for Varric… you know how he gets when he… well… on second thought...”

Cassandra shook her head, “Do not apologize for him Herald.  He has been a thorn in my side ever since Kirkwall.”  She paused, her eyes flitting around the room taking in the hushed whispers and stares before sighing heavily.  “And now we are the center of attention.”

The mage laughed at that and, sensing an opening, he flashed the disgruntled seeker a bright smile.  “I did say it would be best if we gave the room something to talk about didn’t I?  One dance Cassandra and I will make your excuses after that.”  He held out his hand, waiting patiently for the tall warrior to comply.  He watched her look at him and then his hand, those light hazel eyes completely unreadable and for a moment he wondered if his advance would be rejected once again.  Trevelyan had almost given up when he felt the warmth of slender fingers sliding over his palm and a soft accented sigh.

“If I step on your feet Inquisitor, do not say I did not warn you.”

Maxwell laughed lightly and pulled the tall Nevarran out onto the dance floor, his pulse quickening as he slid his free hand to rest against the flare of the seeker’s hip.  He saw the quirk of a dark eyebrow at his hesitancy and swallowed hard as he forced himself forward, his concentration fractured between counting his steps and taking in the feeling of having Cassandra in his arms at last.

 

* * *

 

Blue eyes watched from the shadows, red lips parting to sip slowly at even redder wine as those eyes tracked the couple sweeping across the dance floor.  She had been eavesdropping the conversation between the two, equal parts of her both wanting Cassandra to accept and refuse the dance.  Leliana watched imagining that it was her in the seeker’s arms, that it were her words that caused that dark head to tip back in relaxed laughter.  Jealousy tinted the scene and the spymaster found herself reaching for another glass before sinking back into the shadows she knew so well.  She watched begrudgingly, her lips twitching in a faint smirk to see that the seeker did not lack for skill on the dance floor - though she was overly fond of sitting out every ball the two of them had ever attended; preferring to scowl at potential suitors than use her considerable charms to exact vital information.  Suddenly she felt the shadows shift and found herself looking into a pair of mischievous cerulean eyes.

“See anything you like or are you just browsing like me?”

Leliana rolled her eyes and glared at the Champion of Kirkwall, Marian Hawke had always been an incorrigible minx.  She dispelled her stealth with a flick of her fingers and leaned back against the wall, sighing as the brunette did the same.  She was used to this, the constant flirting, that went hand in hand with any sort of conversation she had ever had with the eldest Hawke.  They had traded joking barbs back in Lothering when Leliana had just been a lay sister and Marian a blight in her own right upon the sleepy village.  She felt a soft touch walking along her arm and pulled away with a bored sigh.

“I see nothing has changed since I knew you back in Lothering.”

Hawke chuckled and tilted her head towards the dancing couple.  “One cannot say the same thing about you Sister… or is it Most Holy now?”  She watched as blue eyes narrowed and then turned away to look towards the nobles gathered in the opposite direction.  Hawke had not expected to see the infamous Nightingale at the celebrations, especially hidden in the shadows like an assassin waiting on it’s next contracted kill.  She had watched the spymaster, following the way her gaze had tracked the tall seeker and wondering as to what was playing out in the former bard’s head.  

Marian had heard that both Leliana and Cassandra were being considered for Divine, and though she had her doubts that either one of them would be able to salvage what little was left of the Chantry, she had placed her money on the seeker nonetheless.  She smiled as she recalled the delighted laugh that had escaped her pirate lover, the two of them agreeing on seemingly ludicrous terms should their chosen candidate win.  It was that bet that had the Champion attending the victory dinner tonight.  She had known Isabela too long to take the temptress at her word and the word was that the Sunburst Throne finally had a new ass to warm it.  

The rogue chuckled as she let her gaze drift lower to appreciate the partially turned figure of the woman beside her.  If Isabela was to be believed it was a shame to see so lovely a specimen be consigned to a lifetime of forced celibacy.  A sharp slap at her arm had the Champion’s eyes rising quickly to see the disapproving turn of the redhead’s lips followed by another roll of blue eyes that were almost hidden in the shadow of the seneschal's cowl.  

“If that were true then your eyes should find a more appropriate target for their wandering lest you risk your place at our Maker’s side.”

Hawke laughed jovially at the warning and winked at the now smirking woman, her eyes roving the armored figure playfully.  “Well if Isabela is to be believed…. It might be worth risking my place at the Maker’s side just to make the Nightingale sing…”

Leliana pursed her lips and shook her head, fighting the upward turn of her lips.  It was just like Isabela to scandalize her longest lover with tales of her previous conquests.  The spymaster fought the swell of memories that tease threatened to bring forth, her heart panging briefly as she recalled the hesitant curiosity that had lit up Elissa’s face at the prospect of just what the pirate had proposed.  Looking back now, a part of Leliana regretted the decision, regretted sharing the young noble with another even if it had just been for but a few hours into the night.  Those hours flashed by in her mind now, the sounds of cresting pleasure in multiple tones, the feeling of two sets of hands instead of one, the look of wonder on those delicate features; delicate features that slowly shifted into strong angles, light green bleeding into rich hazel as the woman intertwined with her in the recesses of memory shifted from one Hero to the next.

The spymaster exhaled sharply before carefully school her face into a mask of casual indifference as she regarded the smirking rogue beside her, her eyes flickering back towards the Inquisitor and the seeker as the dance slowly came to an end.  She had hoped to steal Cassandra away, to avoid the crowds and their companions, to guard what little time remained them.  A low sound of realization drew Leliana’s attention back to the rogue in front of her and she could tell by the smugness sparkling in the Champion’s eyes that the other woman had followed her gaze.  Leliana arched an eyebrow, daring the Ferelden to say a word but to her surprise the rogue flashed a quick grin and sauntered away.  She watched the retreat for a moment before turning away to see the dance came to an end.  Her fingertips twitched as the mage bent over Cassandra's hand, his lips pursed to give it a kiss.  The spymaster grinned as the warrior jerked her hand from his, startled when those hazel eyes fixed on her with stunning clarity.

 

* * *

 

Cassandra felt her heartbeat slow as those light eyes met her's and the seeker found herself walking towards the cowled figure leaned so provocatively against the wall of the keep.  Cassandra could see a hint of a slow smile as she neared the Left and it pulled forward one of her own.  She couldn't understand why she felt compelled towards the other woman but she barely heard the Inquisitor say her name as she left the dance floor, barely heard the whispers that followed her.  All she could think about was leaving the party, of pushing that hood down and tangling her hand in silken hair, tasting hints of tea in mint in the tangle of the spymaster's tongue.  The thoughts pushed her heartbeat faster as she wove through the crowd, heat pooling low in her stomach.  Her vision of the slender redhead was momentarily blocked by another and Cassandra blinked as she recognized the back of Madame de Fer.  Her lust fogged thoughts barely registered the enchanters words but they stopped her dead in her tracks.  Cassandra looked at the tall mage and then back at Leliana, heart pounding, eyes widening in disbelief as the words echoed in her head.

“May I be the first to congratulate you on your victory Most Holy”

Leliana froze, her eyes looking past the enchanter to the figure of Cassandra frozen mid step.  For a moment the spymaster dared to hope that perhaps the seeker had not heard the title but one look into that open gaze told her that the seeker had heard it all.  She watched as confusion bled into understanding and slowly faded to hurt before all raw emotion was masked in the familiar wash of the seeker’s infamous anger.  Leliana moved forward, intent on reaching the tall woman, to halt her retreat, to explain, only to have members of the nobility along with Vivienne herself, press her with their warm felicitations - each vying for favor even before Leliana had taken the throne.  The spymaster clenched her fists, barely holding her temper in check as she demurely nodded, warmly thanking them all for their kind words as she pushed through the throngs of people.  She had just made her way through in time to see the back of seeker retreating as she vanished behind a closing door and Leliana quickened her pace intent on catching her when her name rang throughout the hall.  The spymaster turned towards the sound and watched as the entire crowd sank to their knees and the Inquisitor smiled as he announced her ascension.  Her heart fell as she was forced to finally acknowledge her new role and all that came with it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the reads, kudos and comments ;)


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra confronts Leliana atop the battlements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured what better way to celebrate a last minute rush design job than to finish a very angsty chapter in-between this all-night creative process! It's un-beta'd so please forgive any grammatical/spelling errors. Enjoy!

That she could barely see made no difference as she swung her longsword at the outline of the training target.  Cassandra moved from form to form, heart pounding from more than just the physical exertion.  She had seen the truth as well as the panic flash in an unguarded second behind the shadow of Leliana’s hood when the enchantress had offered her congratulations.  Cassandra swung harder at the obstacle as she sought to push past the feeling of betrayal.  It had been clear in that moment that the spymaster had been aware that she had been chosen and that she had not wanted that decision made public, for what reasons though, the seeker refused to guess.

“Tis a bit late for such aggression. Keep that up and you'll not sleep tonight.”

Cassandra stopped her sword mid-swing and turned towards the mellifluous voice that spoke from the shadows.  She watched as a scantily dressed woman emerged, yellow eyes flashing as Cassandra gave a grunt of disgust.

“It is unlikely I would have slept anyways,” she spat before returning to her attack.  She felt those eyes on her, watching her movements in the silence broken only by the sound of metal hitting wood and her own panted breath.  Cassandra had not warmed to this “witch of the wilds” but she had long turned a blind eye to the Inquisitor's disruptive habit of conscripting apostates. She had never enjoyed being subjected to another's scrutiny, though Leliana’s had always made her feel taller, somehow larger than life..

She cast away the thought, annoyed by the spike of her heart rate at the memory of those sparkling eyes watching her.  No. She would not think of that now. She could not, not anymore.

“If you do not mind my asking, what has set you so on edge Seeker of Truth?  I thought tonight's celebrations were to honor your victory.  Shouldn't you be in the great hall with your other companions?”

Morrigan watched the warrior’s movements increased in both speed and intensity as her own lips curled into a knowing smile. So the “sister” had claimed yet another Hero for her collection.  Leliana did appear to have a specific type…

The witch snorted at the thought and stepped closer. She had watched the seeker warily since their introduction at the Winter Palace. Morrigan had never come across a seeker but tales of their prowess had always circulated the underground circles.  Tales she herself had scoffed at but refused to test. Templars were enough of a hassle.  It would be foolish to take on that which could subdue even that order to its will, but perhaps a push…

“So our song bird deceived you as well?  I cannot say I am surprised.  She always has worn her secrets close, though I am surprised with your… abilities seeker you did not see through her mask sooner.  Tell me then, are you mad that tis you who will not be leading your foolish Chantry or that she seduced you even knowing such a thing could not last?.”

Cassandra huffed, growling softly as she poured her aggression into her swings, her voice clipped as she responded to the haughty tone that gave voice to the very thoughts she wanted to leave buried.

“That is none of your business.”

Most curious indeed.

The apostate tilted her head, a smug smile curving her lips at the heated flush of the seeker's skin wondering if it came more from anger or embarrassment.  Amused by the seeker's refusal to respond the witch opened her mouth to say more, pausing as a breathless shadow pushed past her.

“Cassandra..”

The seeker stiffened as that lilting Orlesian accent wrapped around the syllables of her name. It wasn't fair that a single word should warm her like this nor that so soft a tone be able to wipe away the confused jumble of her earlier thoughts. She refused to turn, refused to acknowledge that voice and the woman it belonged to.  Instead she pressed forward, slamming her blade into the wood even harder.

Leliana clenched her fist to stop herself from reaching out.  Her eyes darted to the smirking figure that stood to her left, surprised to see it was Morrigan.  The two of them had not spoken since Celene had sent the apostate as her liaison to the Inquisition, both seeming to mutually prefer  to let their previous animosity remain unspoken until now.  She turned, letting all her worry, anxiety and despair funnel into her long standing dislike for the woman.

“Why are you here Morrigan?”

The apostate raised an eyebrow at the venom laced in the bard’s deceptively soft tone, pondering its cause.  They had never gotten along and Morrigan had thought the young noble, she had agreed to assist, insane for bringing the religious fanatic with them but Elissa would not budge from her decision.  The apostate had watched as the two of them grew closer, watched as the bard plied her trade, watched as the reckless Warden fell to the redhead’s charms.  She had thought it a good thing for it gave the Ferelden a reason to want to live but she had not counted on Cousland’s pride and honor.  Morrigan felt the smirk of her lips dim at the memory of that night, of being denied what she desperately had wanted, for knowing that when the sun arose on that next day the woman she had grown to call her friend would no longer be in the world of the living.  She shook off that regret and met the rising storm of Leliana’s blue eyes.  The two of them had not parted on the best of terms and she knew the former Chantry wench held her in contempt for disappearing the eve before the final battle.  The witch smiled and nodded at the seeker who continued to batter the wooden target as if neither of them were standing there.

“I am merely observing spymaster or is it Most Holy now?”

Leliana watched as Morrigan’s smile gleamed wider, her attention pulled away from that predatory look by the clatter of a sword hitting the ground and she turned to see Cassandra walking away once more.  

“Tis interesting to see you so… concerned Leliana.  The look on your face is strangely reminiscent of the way you looked at Cousland.  Tell me, have you seduced yet another hero into your bed?  What makes you think this time will be any different hmm?  Tis most unwise considering the vows your maker will have you take.”

The spymaster jerked her head back to glare at the other woman, not bothering to deny the presumption.  She had learned long before that the witch’s skills of observation were nothing if not accurate.  Leliana paused, a part of her wanted to respond, to argue, to fall back into their familiar animosity but she could not risk leaving things as they stood with Cassandra.  Indeed, speaking to the seeker had to be her top priority.  She needed to soothe the hurt she had caused, deflect the anger and betrayal she could feel pouring off the other woman in waves even though they were nowhere near one another.  The rogue turned to point at the witch, her voice clipped “Stay out of it Morrigan.”  She watched the surprise in the glow of those yellow eyes and turned on her heel, picking up the discarded weapon, determined to find the seeker before the party in the great hall disbanded.  

 

* * *

 

Cassandra paced the battlements, fighting the rush of emotions as a myriad of thoughts tangled in her mind.  Leliana had been chosen as Divine, the shadow of the Sunburst Throne had moved into the light, the left had moved right to take the seat of their faith and lead them into a new beginning.  Each realization hurt, but none more so than the one her subconscious whispered to her now.   _ It had to end. _

That thought felt like the stab of a sword to her heart, an open wound that might never heal, one the would fester over the years as sweet memories of the few stolen moments of time they had stolen together faded and bitterness set in.  Cassandra stopped her pacing and gripped the cold stone as she stared out at the snow covered mountains.

“You dropped your sword.”

Cassandra stiffened at the haunted sound of Leliana’s voice and nodded tersely, refusing to turn and meet the other woman’s gaze.  She wanted to thank her for the kindness, wanted to tell her to leave, wanted to turn and reach for her…  The seeker stood silent, not trusting her words, her tone or her actions and let the silence continue to grow between them.

Leliana let her eyes travel the tense set of the seeker’s shoulders, the stiff posture, her own hands flexed around the sword she had picked up from an almost frozen ground.  Maker help her she did not know what to do, how best to approach.  She’d had such different plans for tonight!  A Fereldan noble she’d had dealings with in the past had made the journey to Skyhold, his wife absent and abed with her third pregnancy.  Leliana had intercepted a letter between the noble and his lover; an Orlesian bard with whom the spymaster had used on occasion.  It had been the perfect situation to bend to her own designs; a planned tryst between the two to be used to her own advantage.  She had discreetly approached the noble, humbly confiding in him her possible pending election, accepting his smiling accolades before musing over her oversight of not securing a room when joining the Inquisition.  She feigned surprise when he offered her his own room, accepting his assurance that he would sleep elsewhere.  Leliana had blessed him for his generosity and thanked him for his sacrifice, hiding a private smile with how easily she had played him.  Had he not played along she would not have hesitated to reveal his mistress and then blackmailed him into handing over the room but such actions were beneath one who would soon be Divine no? 

She had walked on air back to her tower, thoughts of seducing her seeker creating a hum of excited  warmth that had lasted well into the evening as the bard had prepared to brave the celebrations below her.  Leliana could see it so clearly in her own mind, she would set candles everywhere letting their scent and warmth fill the room before slowly peeling every inch of the warrior’s clothing off to revel in the heat of that sun kissed skin.  She would push the other woman towards the bed, sitting her down before moving to divest herself of her own cares as slowly as possible while intoning everything she wanted to do to the seeker.  It would be a night of seduction, of pleasure in each other, a night to whisper endearments, to truly show the reluctant noble just what she meant to the spymaster; in short a night to remember when they could not indulge in one another as often as they seemed to be doing now.  

The warmth of her thoughts faded as a blast of cold air brought the spymaster back to the harsh reality that her vision of such a night was as good as lost to her now.  She ached to reach out and turn the Right towards her, pull her nearer to explain.  Instead she stepped forward, biting her lip in hesitation as she set the longsword down to lean against the merlon beside the seeker.  

 

“Cassandra…”

“How long have you known?”

The words were devoid of emotion, delivered in the same tone the seeker had always used during the interrogations the two of them had performed together and the spymaster winced before turning to rest her back against the wall, placing herself as close to the other woman as she dared.

“The letter was waiting for me when we returned to the keep that first night.  I suspected but I did not open it; I did not want to believe it was true.”

Cassandra turned sharply to stare at the hooded figure beside her, an eyebrow arching at the admission as anger at the other woman’s willful ignorance, the very deception of the spymaster’s nature, bled into her.  “Why?  Why would you not want to know?  Being named Divine was your ambition .  When we were named as candidates you spoke often of having the opportunity to finish Justinia's work.  No. I will not accept that answer.  You knew Leliana and yet you let us… let me... “  She trailed off, her speech halted by the warm grip of a  gloved hand on her arm.

“It was wrong of me, I should have told you Cassandra but I didn’t know what to say.  I didn't want to lose you because of this, I don't want to give up what we have.”

The seeker pulled away from the touch as she shook her head, denying the words she wanted most to hear, forcing herself to break apart a connection she had not even been aware of seeking.  “We cannot continue like this Leliana.  A Divine must take vows, must remain chaste, a pure example of the Maker’s bride -”

The rogue shook her head, chasing the seeker’s retreat, recapturing the other woman’s arm as she cut into the incredulous tone of Cassandra's reply.  

“Andraste was married and she still shared Maferath’s bed even after the Maker had taken her to bride.  There are even rumours that she and Shartan were lovers.  I know what doctrine states Cassandra but why must that always be so.  We have paved the way for change yes? The Inquisition demands that the Chantry bear some of these changes, indeed I had already planned to make even more, why should I not change this as well?”

Cassandra scowled, her brow furrowing as she sought to find the flaws in the spymaster’s words.  It could not be that simple.  A change in doctrine would take years, decades perhaps and with so much change having already been made was it truly wise to push for more?  Once more she slipped from that simple touch, a touch that already made her want more, a touch that steadily fed the full ache that had been present throughout the day.  The seeker pushed aside that feeling of want, willing herself to begin the arduous process of denying it as she argued the wisdom of Leliana’s plans.  

“Surely some things should remain Leliana.  The traditions are a comfort to people.  If you change too much, too soon you will drive away the faithful.”

The spymaster surged forward, her hands cupping the other woman’s face, gloved fingertips caressing both the smooth and scarred flesh of the seeker’s cheeks.  She pulled Cassandra’s face down slightly as her eyes searched that dark gaze, her voice barely above a whisper as her fingers slid lower, thumb tracing the curve of the seeker’s lip.

“It is a risk yes, but there is nothing I would not do to keep you at my side.  You balance me… even Justinia knew that… why do you think she forced us together… if not to make us something better than ourselves...but more than that... “

She paused and tilted her head, pressing her lips to the seeker’s watching that hard gaze soften slightly before disappearing as thick lashes fluttered close.  Leliana felt the tremor that went through the other woman seconds before she found herself wrapped in a steel embrace.  She gasped as her body was pressed back against the keep, her hood falling down around her shoulders while a gauntleted hand tangled in her hair, tugging her head back further drawing a low groan from the back of her throat.

Cassandra focused on the feeling of Leliana’s lips against hers, the dance of their tongues, the soft sounds vibrating against her mouth as she deepened the kiss, pressing the bard to the keep.  She wanted to cling to this moment, to the heat, the desperation.  She wanted to freeze time itself but…

The seeker forced herself to let go, to push the Left away, to turn from what she wanted.  She stiffened as slender arms wrapped around her and she felt the weight of Leliana’s head as it rested against her shoulder.  

“Forgive me.  You are right, I should have told you.”

Words spoken so softly they were almost lost in the wind.  Cassandra felt the fight ebb out of her as she nodded, her hand rising to cover Leliana’s.  Her voice caught in the storm of emotions that surged within.  “It does not matter now.”

Leliana slipped her hands free and slid around to face the seeker.  The crestfallen expression stung.  She had not seen the other woman so open, so… raw since they had arrived to the destruction of the sacred temple and the sight of it drove the spymaster to wrap her arms rightly around the seeker’s waist.

“I have not accepted this Cassandra.  I can always tell them no.  You and I… we have given so much… why should we not take what little we can while we can... “

She looked up at the incredulous expression and pressed forward before she lost the nerve to offer what little of herself she had left.  “We can leave tonight, disappear.  Let someone else take up the cause, let someone else lead the Chantry.  I failed Elissa in this… I let her risk all… I lost her to one cause and then I lost myself in another. I….”

Leliana closed her eyes, emotion choking her words as she saw Elissa lying on the top of Fort Drakon once more, lips stained with blood, parted and panting as life faded from cornflower blue eyes.  Even as she said the words she knew it was pure fantasy that she offered.  Neither of them would be able to turn their back on the Inquisition they had started, both of them knowing and accepting that a part of forcing change demanded personal sacrifice.    

“I was determined not to like you when we were first introduced all those years ago.  I thought her Holiness mad for even suggesting your appointment as the Left Hand.  I was convinced that piety was one mask a bard could never wear but try as I might I could find no fault with your skills…”

The spymaster opened her eyes at the accented words, forcing herself to meet the seeker on an even playing ground as she stared into that familiar gaze, willing the other woman to continue, to accept or reject her offer of escape.

“Her Holiness knew my reservations, encouraged them.  She commanded me to pursue them, to prove her wrong but I could not.  At every turn you were there, driven in all the ways I am not, your faith in the Maker seemed to mirror only my own…

Leliana felt a calloused hand trace the edge of her jaw, fingertips dancing along her skin, a thumb tracing her lips as that rough voice continued slightly above her.

“I did not realize until the night before battle what I felt for you… another truth I refused to see but…”

Cassandra paused tilting the spymaster’s face towards her own, stopping as her lips brushed the other woman’s.  “I know that you would not be the woman I love if you abandoned your duty now, just as I would not be me.  There is much good you can yet do in such a position… it seems our faith is to be tested yet again.“

Leliana released a shuddering breath as Cassandra pulled away, the tone of her voice saying more than the scant words the seeker had offered.  She was saying goodbye...  Leliana followed, chasing that closeness, that connection, only to have her advance halted by harsh Navarran tones.

“Please… Leliana… don’t… I… I cannot knowing who you are… what you are...”

The spymaster brushed aside the hands that had planted against her shoulders and pushed the seeker back against the battlements, her fingertips stilling the protest on parted lips.

“I am not that yet… give me tonight Cassandra…”

The seeker paused, her eyes searching those shadowed by that ever present cowl.  Tonight.  The words echoed in her mind, repeated in hushed whispers as distracting as any Desire demon’s voice.  Tonight.  She could feel the pull of Leliana, her own body moving towards that singular warmth, the layered voice that sweetly gave at the same time it demanded.  If Cassandra was honest with herself she wanted that too, another night to sear into memory what could never be shared again.  A part of her wanted to rage at the irony of it all.  So long had she held the belief that she could never love a woman, never reciprocate those emotions,  rejecting all advances on principle alone and now that she knew that belief false… The seeker nodded once, surprised as the lithe body that had pressed so solidly against her own disappeared and she felt the tug at her ungloved hand as that lilting voice sweetly commanded:

“Follow me.”


	8. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shameless smut, angst and feels await - ye have been warned! Enjoy ;)

The click of a closing door followed by the echo of a metal bolt sliding into place and Cassandra struggled to adjust to the almost pitch black darkness of the room.  She’d followed the spymaster through endless corridors as the rogue led her through parts of the keep she’d yet to explore.  The harsh sound of metal scraped together before the faint glow of embers rose slowly to bathe the room in dim light.  The Right Hand raised her eyes from that brightening flame, her vision caught as pale hands lowered the spymaster’s heavy cowl exposing her features to the warm light.  Cassandra’s breath hitched as she watched a rare smile curved those full lips, the beauty of it making her ache as her traitorous conscience whispered sinisterly in her mind.   _ Divine. _  She beat the thought back ignoring the rise of guilt as she growled softly, her feet carrying her forward, hand rising to tangle in silky locks, pulling those lips towards her own.

The spiced wine from earlier could be tasted again on those lips along with the sharp sweetness that was all Leliana.  Cassandra groaned softly as she slowly drank in that essence, surrounding herself with it, memorizing the feel of her lover’s tongue as it danced against her own in languid strokes.

Leliana forced herself to allow Cassandra to take the lead, to keep the pace slow, to savory the secret pleasure of shared passion between the two of them.  She wanted to seduce this woman with her words, entice her with her body, take control of the moment, the situation until Cassandra was mindless beneath her, writhing and begging for more, but the roar of desperate need in her own body threatened to make such a desire impossible to realize at the moment.  With a shaky breath, Leliana broke the kiss, laughing softly at the impatient groan that escaped her seeker’s lips.  She slid her hand against that warm olive skin and looked into lust darkened eyes, her voice low and thick with the effect of that kiss.

“You are so beautiful like this Cassandra…”

She paused to lean forward, her lips tracing the seeker’s jaw as she pressed against the solidity of her form, pushing the taller woman back a step.

“The way you kiss me… it is intoxicating….”

Cassandra let herself be moved back, her hands resting on slender hips that swayed beneath the Orlesian’s seductive gait.  She stared into ocean eyes, mesmerized by the shifting hues as she struggled to form words of her own, to protest the compliment, to give Leliana one in return but just as she parted her lips to try her breath was stolen by the press of that warm mouth on hers once more.

Leliana moaned softly into the kiss, pushing the seeker back further as she felt insistent grip that tugged at her tunic, warm hands sliding over her stomach, distracting her as heat raced through her body ending between her thighs.  She felt Cassandra gasp against her lips, felt the resistance of the other woman’s body, her eyes opening for a moment to confirm what she thought she already know and smiled before pushing the warrior hard.

Cassandra grunted softly as the back of her knees hit the edge of a bed, she fell back, her hands catching her weight as she sank into soft sheets and groaned as the warmth of Leliana settled atop her.  She tipped her head up, capturing that hot mouth again as strong thighs gripped her hips, deft fingers tugging at her braid as teeth scraped against her lower lip. Leliana’s lilting voice sending shivers down her spine as the bard rolled her hips slowly, grinding down against her.

“Tell me… tell me what you want…”

The Nevarran shuddered, pressing her lips against the smooth column of the rogue’s throat, her fingers stumbling over the laces of the spymaster’s breeches as she shook her head, “You… just you… tonight…”  

Cassandra groaned softly, biting back the rest of her words as she yanked the bard’s tunic up and over her head.  She wanted to say forever, to say always but she could not force the lie from her lips.  They did not have forever, they might not ever have more than tonight… Growling as she pushed away such thoughts, the seeker rolled the smaller woman to her back, her thigh slipping easily between the bard’s legs as she thrust forward, slanting her lips across Leliana’s stealing another kiss as she fought the cloud of hopelessness that threatened to settle over her.

_ Maker! _  Leliana arched into that touch, hands carding through the seeker’s hair as she held that mouth to hers tasting the desperation in that kiss.  She gasped as those lips left hers, sharp teeth scraping along the edge of her jaw as a calloused hand palmed her breast, fingers roughly pushing aside her band to tweak at it’s peak.  She could feel Cassandra shaking, fighting herself, forcing herself to gentle her touch for the spymaster’s sake.  Leliana shook her head, tugging at the dark strands of hair in her hands, her voice raw as she stared into the other woman’s eyes.

“Take me, don’t hold back.”

Cassandra released a shuddered breath and scowled denying her desire to do just that, her head shaking no even as Leliana nodded yes, those pale hands pulling her closer as whispered words were panted against her lips. 

“Yes… I want you to...”

She groaned into the spymaster’s kiss and rocked her knee forward to press between splayed thighs as she allowed the aggression she held so tenuously at bay to ignite within her.  She fisted her hand in flame colored hair and pulled the bard’s head back, her lips falling to ravage the exposed pale skin, sucking hard to mark the smaller woman as her own before sliding lower still.  The hungry noises above her drove Cassandra further as she scraped her teeth along the edge of Leliana’s collarbone, her fingers yanking at the laces of the other woman’s trews, growling in frustration as the leather strings caught in their loops.  She felt her braid slowly fall from around her head, felt the tug of it as Leliana wrapped it around her hand, pulling her head down lower until her lips slid over pebbled flesh.

Leliana groaned again as that hot mouth encased her, teeth scraping to tease before the seeker’s tongue danced in slow erratic patterns over her nipple, wringing another gasp from her lips.  Every sure touch sent another wave of heat between her legs, that maddening press of the other woman’s leg too shallow to ease the pounding ache those earlier actions had begun.  She reached down, helping Cassandra loosen her pants, her own need outweighing her earlier desire to take things slow.  Her breath caught as she felt the fabric tugged lower down her hips, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she felt the seeker rip away her smalls.

_ Fuck…. _

Leliana didn’t know if the word had escaped her or Cassandra but it didn’t matter, nothing mattered except the deep thrust of that capable touch, the curl of those long calloused fingers as they shifted within her only to push in deeper still.  The rhythm the other woman set was steady and hard, each lunge forward rocking both their bodies together as the spymaster yanked at that braid, forcing the seeker’s lips to her own once more as she wrapped her leg around the other woman’s hip.  Her muscles quaked, trembling to keep up as their mouths battled for dominance before the need to breath forced both of them to pull back.  Leliana tugged up at Cassandra’s tunic, hissing as heated flesh met her own, the rhythm they had set rising in crescendo, too fast, too hard, too soon…

The spymaster gasped, crying out as her body bowed and lights exploded behind her eyes.  She floated above it all, barely aware of her partially discarded breeches being tugged the rest of the way from her body. The spymaster moaned softly as the world spun, surprised to find herself atop the seeker once more, looking down into that hot hungry gaze she was sure had only ever been leveled at herself.  She gasped in surprise as she felt her sex parted again, her head falling back as those sure fingers slid teasingly along her outer lips.  

“Look at me… I want to see you…”

Leliana blinked at the strangled need in that accented voice, the very tone demanding her response.  She complied, shifting to look down, her breath escaping in shuddering pants as Cassandra slowly pushed back inside her, a long arm wrapping around her waist to pull her closer still, her body responding to the raw whispered command that blew across her chest..

“Move Leliana...”

Cassandra leaned back slightly, her eyes mesmerized by the sight of Leliana’s body lit by the roaring flame, the fire giving that pale skin an ethereal sheen as those hips lifted and rocked back down against her hand.  She could feel the streams of heat slipping past her soaked fingers, painting her thighs as the bard moved over her.  Her heart pounded as she leaned forward tasting the light sheen of sweat that had gathered on the other woman’s throat, her mouth falling to capture the enticing pink tipped breast that was being offered up, sucking hard as she curled her fingers forward slightly, undulating in time with that slow hypnotic pace.

_ Sweet Maker! _

Leliana let her head fall back, her body shaking as she fought the approaching rush of her building climax, eyes shut tightly.  Every stroke made her body pull tighter, her stomach trembling as her inner thighs quaked.  She shifted, changing the motion as she rose up to the tips of Cassandra’s fingertips before crashing back down, a cry escaping her lips as she repeated the action again and again.  Leliana yanked back on the seeker’s braid, tipping Cassandra’s head back before she framed those sculpted cheeks with her hands, muffling the rising pitch of her cries against kiss bruised lips.  

Cassandra poured herself into that connection for a moment, the need to feel her lover clench around her once more was almost as pressing as her own desire for completion.  She groaned at the thought, her fingers flexing once before she deviated from her previous position, leaning the former bard back, breaking that fierce kiss as she thrust up into clinging heat, listening as the room echoed with the sounds of wet flesh and keening moans.  Cassandra slid her mouth across that pale skin as her name resounded above her; a prayed litany interspersed with whispered curses in broken Orlesian followed by the Maker’s name, the level of noise rising with each rise and fall of Leliana’s hips until a single shuddering jerk brought everything to halt as her fingers were clenched in a pulsating vice grip that flooded across her leather encased thighs.

 

* * *

 

Leliana blinked slowly, her heart still racing as she registered the strong arms holding her gently as if she were something precious.  The thought drew tears unshed, stinging the corners of her eyes as she pushed back the unwelcome moment of weakness.   _ I can’t lose this _ , she thought as she turned to find Cassandra staring at her in an almost worshipful awe.  She cupped that dear face, smiling slowly, feeling almost shy as she pressed forward to steal a light kiss, resting her forehead against the warrior’s.  She slid her hands down, resting them on broad shoulders, frowning when she realized the seeker was still dressed.  The spymaster arched an eyebrow at her former counterpart and smirked as she playfully tugged at the rough tunic.

“Surely you did not plan to wear this all night…”  Her eyes drifted downward to the soaked material beneath her thighs and then back up to meet Cassandra’s warm serious gaze.  “We should at least let those dry no…”

She watched as the seeker’s ears reddened and smiled as she shifted off of the other woman, sliding out of that loose embrace to stand on unsteady legs, inviting her lover to move to the edge of the bed, more than ready to strip the seeker bare and reciprocate the pleasure she had received when a scarred hand halted her movements.

“Who will you name as your Right and Left hand?”

Leliana frowned at the unwanted inquiry and shook her head, her hands reaching for the seeker’s waist, deft fingers tugging at the ties she had soaked.  

“That is a topic for another time.  Remember, tonight is just you and me, no more talk of saving the world, no more talk of what the future holds… right now it doesn’t matter..”

“It matters to me Leliana.”

Something in that hushed whisper caught her, pulling her eyes up away from her task of slowly untying those straps to meet that dark gaze, stung by the sadness shining from within their depths.  She swallowed hard, resting her hands on muscled thighs and nodded once, unwilling to refuse an answer a second time.

“I have not decided on a Left… I do not know if I can pass the reins of my network to just one person.  I have been toying with several ideas on restructuring but nothing has been made concrete.”  

She paused and reached forward, letting her fingertips trace that hard jawline before continuing, her voice barely above a whisper.  “As to my Right… there has always been but one person I would trust such a title to...”

“I cannot…”

The spymaster frowned, her brow furrowing further as she stared incredulously as the other woman before shaking her head, chuckling softly.  “You cannot be serious.  Who else would I trust with my life but you?  There is no one I would rather have at my side… surely you must know that…”  

Leliana let her sentence trail off as she moved her hands back to their previous task.  She did not want to talk about this now… she could sense the argument, knew the unspoken reasons for it but...

Cassandra covered those pale hands with her own, clasping them tightly as she shook her head, willing the former bard to look at her.  The subject had been whispering in the back of her mind since hearing the former Grand Enchanter name Leliana as the next Divine, niggling in her thoughts as she slammed her sword against the wooden training dummy over and over.  She had forgotten them for a time, lost in the pleasure of those earlier moments but they had come back as she’d held Leliana, effectively cooling her need.  She could see the unmasked hurt in those bright blue eyes, the dark edges of panic as she forced her lover to face her.  Cassandra leaned forward, resting her forehead Leliana’s, her tone gentle as she slowly dragged her thumbs over the back of the former bard’s hands.

“I cannot bear to be at your side and not be with you like this.  I cannot risk the whole of Val Royeaux uncovering what has grown between us.  All it would take would be a look, a careless touch and they would descend upon you like the vipers they are… Leliana… look at me…”

She waited until those storm tossed eyes met her own and leaned forward letting her lips brush against the other woman’s before continuing. 

“I am not like you.  I cannot hide what I feel, I have no talent for deception and I cannot be the reason your reign is disgraced.  You will be one of the youngest Divine’s in the history of the Chantry… you will have more years than most to make good on the changes you would see made… I will not risk taking that away from you… Thedas and the faithful need you...”

Leliana pulled back, yanking her hands from the seeker’s, her voice cold.  “And I need you!  It is not your decision to make Cassandra.  I cannot do this without you…”  

She stopped as her voice broke and turned from the other woman to pace the room, uncaring that she was completely unclothed.  “We have been each other’s strength for almost a decade, we declared this Inquisition together… I thought it went without saying that no matter who ascended the Sunburst Throne the other would follow… to see done what Justinia gave her life to try and achieve…”  

She turned back towards the woman sitting at the foot of the bed, approaching her, a finger at her chest as steel wrapped around her next words. 

“You would abandon me to this… you told me you would never leave me Cassandra… you swore you would always come back..”

“And I will… as the Maker wills it.   The Seekers of Truth must be rebuilt… I know you will seek to do away with the circles but the world will still need those who can resist magical corruption, who can overpower those who would use magic to harm… the templars have proven that they cannot be trusted with this task and the leash of lyrium can never be used again.  I must do this Leliana… with or without your blessing but know this…”

Cassandra stood, capturing that hand with her own, pulling the smaller woman to her, her arms wrapping tightly as she stood and buried her nose against those sweat damp locks, her voice cracking slightly.  “If you have need of me I will return, if someone threatens you I will be there to end it, I would not leave you alone…”

She would have said more but her words were lost in the ferocity of the spymaster’s kiss searing across her lips, stealing her breath as she felt her body pushed back towards the bed and resisted it, faintly amused by the rogue’s low growl that vibrated against her lips.

“You promised me tonight…”

Cassandra chuckled softly, pushing back at the sadness that she was only just keeping at bay as she chuckled at the pouted accusation before kneeling on a single knee before the other woman, her lips brushing the back of the former bard’s hand.

“I did… it is morning already Most Holy….”

The sob of disbelief caught in her throat but in the stillness of that moment she could hear the keep coming to life around them; the clang of troop formation, the shouting commands being issued to servant and guest alike.  Leliana stared down into the golden eyes that she knew would forever haunt her, silent as she watched the woman she loved stand and turn to leave; surprised when Cassandra suddenly turned back towards her.

The seeker clenched her fist, resisting the pull of that gaze, resisting the desire to ignore the sounds rising above them, to peel herself from the confinement of her clothing and embrace the sweet sin that the woman before her embodied.  Cassandra took a deep breath and did what she always had, hardening herself to the emotion that flooded her, turning every questioning thought into a morsel of rage to be consumed within the bounds of the training yard below as well as whatever opponent was unfortunate enough to face her today.  She shook, turning on heel and unbolted the door, not trusting herself a minute longer as she flung open the heavy wood, her voice breaking as she choked on the last words she knew they would share for many days to come… teeth grit as she slammed the door in her wake...

“Forgive me Leliana…”   


	9. In Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After two months apart, a conversation amonst friends and a seeker who simply will not return, Leliana makes a decision.

Leliana wiped the placid smile from her face and sighed as she collapsed behind her desk.  She scowled at the bright chuckle that resounded from the chair across from her.  “The requests from these visiting nobles grow more and more ridiculous as the days go by.  Truly Josie, I do not know how you stand it.”

The Antivan laughed again and poured her friend a glass of wine, smiling as the redhead dripped honey over the edge.  “Perhaps they are merely testing your holiness to be until you are finally ensconced in Val Royeaux…”  She studied the woman across from her carefully, her curiosity rising once more as she wondered why the spymaster remained here in the keep.  Deciding to risk her friend’s ire, the ambassador took a sip of her wine and lifted an eyebrow.  “If I may… why do you stay Leliana?  The Grand Clerics are all clamoring for you to be coronated post haste, yet here you remain.  Surely the Inquisitor does not expect you to continue your duties as his spymaster when you have been called to a higher purpose..”

Leliana shook her head, laughing slightly as she took a sip of her wine in turn.  Her eyes fell on the latest report from Scout Harding.  Two months.  Two months Cassandra had been gone hunting dragons of all things.  Dragons!  The spymaster seethed, hiding her silent fury in another sip of the sweetened wine.  She had not seen the seeker since that night, had not heard that she had left until two days after the fact and only then because the Inquisitor had questioned whether or not he should have accompanied the warrior.  She startled as a warm hand touched hers briefly and looked over at her friend.

“What troubles you so Leliana?  I have never seen you so out of sorts…”

The rogue pursed her lips and regarded the antivan woman in front of her.  She opened her mouth for a moment and then closed it, the thing that weighed the heaviest on her mind yearning to spill from her lips.  Another sip, decision made, the redhead shook her head and flashed a warm smile at the ambassador.

“I am fine Josie, just tired.”

“And perhaps worried about a certain seeker?”

Leliana looked at her friend sharply, instantly cautious that she had somehow given something away.  She saw dark eyes look pointedly at the report on her desk and frowned, shrugging off the tease.  “Cassandra can take care of herself, though I am not sure why she has suddenly - after all these years - has a burning desire to hunt dragons….”

“Perhaps she needed something new to hit… or perhaps she needed a break from our Inquisitor’s attentions…”

The last sentence was delivered with a giggle and Leliana lifted a brow at the ambassador, pushing down the rising irritation at the young mage’s stubborn perusal of her lover.   _ Her lover. _  The words stuck in her mind for a brief moment while the spymaster pushed aside the reality that such a statement might never be true again.  She knew just how stubborn the seeker could be and she clearly heard the finality in the words the other woman had spoken the last night they had spent together.  Setting aside such thoughts for later, the former bard gave her friend a small smirk, “What has he done this time?”

Josephine leaned forward, eager to share the latest gossip that had circulated the keep.  It seemed that after the Inquisitor’s much talked about dance with Cassandra he too had left the dance and since neither of them had been seen again till the next morning the rumor mill had them spending the night in the large quarter’s above the Great Hall - a rumor the gregarious mage had done little to discourage.  Leliana frowned as the ambassador relayed the joke the young man had told the next morning that though Nevarra seemed to be a tiring place he could not wait to visit it again; a statement many took as evidence that the seeker was indeed the Herald of Andraste’s lover.  The spymaster shrugged aside the wave of jealousy that washed over her and gave Josephine a wry smile.

“Oh?  Then it is very good that all the rifts have been sealed and Corypheus has been defeated yes?  Cassandra will  **kill** him when she hears of this.”

Josephine nodded, “Yes, it is good you will be taking her with you to Val Royeaux no?”

Leliana frowned and shook her head.  “She does not wish to be named as my hand Josie… I asked but she feels her time would be better spent rebuilding the Seekers of Truth and I cannot say I disagree entirely…”

The Antivan gasped in surprise, “But… who else is qualified?  Surely she would not wish to leave you alone in Val Royeaux… the position of Right Hand has always been a seeker or a Knight Divine and with both orders in disarray…”

“Even if I appoint her as my Right, I would still have to send her away.  If my desire to see the Circles abolished is to be realized then I will need Seekers to assist and there are few left and none more qualified than Cassandra to train a new generation…”

She allowed herself another sip of the wine in hand and looked away from Josie’s bright gaze as she sighed.  “I will miss her though… over the years I have become rather fond…”

Josephine tilted her head at the softly spoken admission and studied the Divine-elect closely.  She had not heard that wistful tone in Leliana’s voice in years… indeed the last time had been the one night she’d been able to get the redhead to speak of the Hero of Ferelden but…

Suddenly it dawned on the ambassador and she leaned closer, her tone barely above a whisper, her eyes searching the familiar phosphorant blue.  “You love her.”

Leliana turned away, startled by the statement a denial ready on her lips, a denial lost when a warm hand covered her own.

“Have you told her Leliana?”

The spymaster laughed mirthlessly and drained her glass, setting it firmly on the knotted wood of her desk, slipping her hand from the friendly touch.  “Does it matter Josie?  I am to be the next Divine and a Divine must take vows, vows that would just make such a confession futile.”

“But you would not be the first Divine to keep a lover… indeed there have been many in the past that did just that, though never openly…”

Leliana shook her head cutting across the ambassador’s words, “Yes, yes and look where that got them.  Cassandra would never agree to such a thing.  Even  **if** I were willing to ignore my vows to the Maker...”  She broke off and grabbed at the bottle of wine, pouring herself another full glass.

Josephine watched as delicate hands lifted the glass, full lips parting to drain half the contents, her mind racing with excitement for her friend, heart breaking at the dilemma the former bard now found herself in.  She had always wondered if there was something between the two women, both so focused on their duty yet existing so comfortably around one another, mirrors of each other in faith, opposites in method.  A thought crossed the Antivan’s mind and she frowned slightly, tapping a finger against her chin.  

“I did not think our seeker attracted to the fairer sex.  Indeed from what little I know about her she has always turned away such attentions….”  She paused catching the slight quirk of Leliana’s lips before the twitch was hidden by a familiar schooled expression of disinterest.  Josephine gasped and slapped at the spymaster’s arm, forgetting herself in her disbelief.  She apologized, eyes twinkling as she leaned forward.  “Then you and she have… AH… you  **must** tell me  **everything** …”

Leliana found herself laughing and shaking her head, her voice taking on the teasing lilt she was most comfortable with.  “Now now Josie you know I don’t kiss and tell….”  She paused, her lips curling into a sly smile.  She chuckled at the raising of Josephine’s eyebrows, the look on on the other woman’s face the portrait of expectation as the Antivan waited for her to say more.  She flashed her friend a smile and leaned forward, her voice lowered conspiratorially, “But I will say that our seeker has many hidden talents.”  She watched as the Antivan’s cheeks flushed and leaned back, “Now, let us speak of something else my dearest friend…”   
  


 

* * *

 

 

Cassandra pulled back the tent flap, wincing slightly at the pain in her shoulder, that last whip of the dragon’s tail had caught her, flinging her against sharp rock.  She loosened the straps of her chestplate and gingerly lifted it away from the sweat stained padded tunic underneath, setting it carefully on the ground as she worked to remove the rest of her armor.  Getting caught by that sweep was unworthy of her, a rookie mistake, a mistake brought on by that brief flash of Leliana’s face - a flash that tangled her thoughts and made the knot in her stomach twist all the tighter.   _ Leliana _ .  She whispered the name to herself as she collapsed atop her bedroll, eyes closed to capture the memory that continually played over and over in her mind, the memory of that last night spent, silken skin and soft moans and…

The seeker grunted and shook her head as she sought to shake the thoughts from her mind.  She could not allow herself to indulge in such things any longer.  Leliana and she…. They could never be… not like that… not again… it was… impossible.  The word stung in her mind, the harsh reality weighing her down.  A part of her regretted leaving so abruptly, of refusing the other woman’s touch, of being gone for two months while she strove to push herself past the brink of exhaustion to a place where she was too tired to think, too weary to feel.  It was the coward’s way out she knew, but Cassandra had needed to put distance between herself and the new Divine, both literally and figuratively - if for nothing else than for her own sanity.  She knew Leliana was not convinced by her argument for refusing the honor of being named as Right Hand, knew that if she stayed she would have been expected to take her place beside  the Divine in Orlais, to assist the former Left in the many battles she would face with trying to reform an establishment that had not changed in over 1000 years.  

She could hear threads of the conversations being had by other companions, the joking, the ribald laughter as the Iron Bull and Dorian quibbled innuendos back and forth between them.  She had heard the whispered concern between the two men the night before when she had retired to her tent again without dinner, grimacing as they speculated that her loss of appetite was merely a manifestation of her pining away for the Inquisitor.  Cassandra had heard bits and pieces of the rumors now surrounding her and the noble mage, that their dance had sparked a fight, that she had organized this mission to give them time apart.  

The seeker sighed once more, rolling to her side unsure of what to do.  They had killed the last of the dragons and already there was talk of going home.  Home.  The word evoked almost as much heaviness in her chest as the impossibility of continuing what scant happiness she had found.  Where was home now?  She had left Nevarra behind years ago but it had ceased to be home once Anthony had died.  She’d thought her home in Val Royeaux since that was where she always seemed to come back to but she had never really warmed to Orlesian culture.   _ Leliana _ .  The name popped back up in her mind and Cassandra’s hips twitched slightly as the ache of loneliness settled upon her once more.  If home was indeed where the heart lay than it would seem Val Royeaux was destined to be such after it’s new Divine was enthroned.  

Cassandra set up, it was futile to try and sleep, not when her mind refused to dredge up the very thoughts she had sought to get away from.  She shifted to her knees, falling back to old familiar habits, praying for some sort of guidance, some sort of sign, anything to reaffirm that she was doing the right thing.

 

* * *

Leliana watched from her tower, heart pounding with anticipation as the hunting party poured in through the open gate, her eyes searching for a familiar face, the branded insignia of the seeker’s that always graced Cassandra’s armor.  Her brow furrowed as the last of the scouts trickled in, the gate shutting behind them.  Her eyes spotted Iron Bull with Dorian at his side and she fought the urge to decend the tower and question them right then and there.  She knew the seeker had not been injured, Scout Harding had kep her well informed of the party’s movement and accomplishments so why was she not with the group?  The spymaster turned from the window and walked slowly to the cage of her most talented raven.  It knew Cassandra well and could be trusted to find her if needed.  Footsteps halted her advance and she turned to find the familiar face of her best dwarven scout, hand extended bearing a sealed letter.

“Forgive me your holiness, but I was tasked to bring this to you right away.”

Leliana reached forward and took the proffered parchment, flashing the scout a wan smile.  “Thank you Scout Harding and it is not “your holiness” just yet.  I am afraid I cannot accept that moniker until I am actually sworn in.”  She watched as the young scout bowed before turning away to head back down the stairwell.  Leliana waited until the footsteps had receded before studying the letter in hand.  She walked back to her desk, slicing the plain wax seal with a small dagger and frowned as she read the words contained within.

_ I have always tried to live my life with no regrets, but I regret leaving the way I did that night.  I left with the hope that time apart would either dull my feelings or sharpen my resolve - neither were accomplished for you remain an active figure in my thoughts.  I heard a rumor that a seeker was seen in Denerim and have gone to investigate if such a rumor is true.  I will meet you in Val Royeaux to witness your coronation and afterwards I shall continue my search for the remaining members of my order. _

The spymaster read the words twice before tossing the paper across the desk.  She wanted to scream her frustration but bit back the urge.  Damn Cassandra and her honor!  Leliana clenched her fist, fighting the urge to leave right then, to seek the seeker out and force the confrontation the other woman was determined to avoid.  She could imagine the warrior’s surprise when she found her, (and she  _ would _ find her) imagined pinning that hard body against the wall, faces inches apart as she sought to test the seeker’s resolve to put aside what had grown into much more than friendship.  The image forced a hot pulse of need straight to her gut and the former bard dug her nails into her thigh to dispel the feeling.  She looked down at the letter again, eyes squinting as she noticed a line of text that she had missed on the back of the paper, blotted almost beyond recognition and hastily written.

_ I do miss you…. _

The concession brought a knot of emotion to her throat, one that Leliana quickly swallowed down.  She sat down at her desk, mind racing as she tried and tested the pros and cons of going after the seeker.  The time to do so was now.  She would not be allowed to leave the protection of the Chantry and it’s guards once she ascended the Sunburst Throne; even now she knew they would fight her, that they would attempt to follow in order to secure her safety.  She toyed with the idea of disappearing, of sneaking away and riding hard to Denerim but dismissed the idea as pure fancy.  Leliana had little doubt that she would be able to elude whatever guards had been placed on her here in Skyhold, but the rumors such a disappearance would spark.  She would have enough of a battle on her hands when the Grand Clerics caught wind of her more… progressive ideas and she could ill afford to isolate potential allies by doing as she willed now.  Still… there must be a way.  And idea formed in her mind and Leliana stood quickly, pulling on her hood as she descended to the library, her eyes scanning both shelf and title for the book she needed.  She found it in the third alcove on the bottom shelf, almost hidden by the dust that covered the spine.  It was not a book one would ever read for pleasure, a dry historical tome of the birth of Chantry politics.  She slipped the book under her arm and continued her descent; the tome might provide a precedent for what she wanted to do, but it would be Josie that could soothe the feathers such a decision would no doubt ruffle.  She knocked at the ambassador’s door, entering as the Antivan bade her to before locking the door behind her.

“Josie… I need your help.”

 

* * *

 

Cassandra huddled in the corner of the Gnawed Noble, hiding her irritation at the loud boisterous crowd of men that had just entered by taking another careful sip of ale.  It had taken her longer than anticipated to arrive here and she was sure if there  **had** been a seeker whomever it was had surely moved on.  Still, she had to try.  She had taken a room for the night, a small one off to the left.  It was simple, which she liked, just a bed with a small table at which to eat or write.  A slight frown tugged at her lips as she thought back to the letter she had hastily sent back with Scout Harding.  Leliana was sure to have received it by now and Cassandra wondered just how mad the other woman was at her for not returning.  Another regret to add to the ones she was piling up, but it was not one that could be avoided.  The report of the seeker was the first she had received and she owed it to her duty to seek her brethren out.  She refused to believe that Lucius had succeeded in killing them all, confident that if she had escaped his claws then surely so had others.  

She jerked back as a heavy hand landed on her table, causing ale to spash out onto the wood and she glared as a large soldier sat down in front of her, his breath reeking of the very brew she had been patiently enjoying.

“So striking a woman should not drink alone.  What say I buy you your next round and you can tell me why someone so beautiful is by herself eh?”

Cassandra scoffed, her eyes rolling as she fixed the man with a bored look.  “No.”

She winced as her reply brought only more laughter and another slamming of that heavy hand, her own gripping the hilt of her sword as the man came around the corner of her table to lean over her.

“No?  Ha… you can’t mean that - “

“I think she means just that.  I would suggest you heed that look in her eye before she shows you exactly what she means no?”

Cassandra felt her mouth open in surprise, that voice….

She watched as the man backed away, muttering under his breath and watched as the deadly blade disappeared within the sleeve of the cloaked figure whose features were hidden by the deep hood but the Orlesian lilt and the deft knife work left little imagination as to the wearer's identity.  Especially when a small chuckle escaped the rogue.

“I do not think I have ever seen you look so stunned Cassandra…”

“Most-”

“Do not call me that, not now and not here,” the harsh tone cut across her abruptly and the seeker nodded slowly, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“How… why…”

She stopped as a gloved hand rose and Leliana’s hushed tones interrupted once more.  “You have a room yes?  Let us continue this conversation there.”  

Cassandra rose, lips pursed tightly as she stiffly grabbed the remainder of her meal as well as the mug of ale and walked towards the small room she had rented, curiosity and anxiety mixing uneasily in her gut.  This was exactly what she had hoped to avoid; being alone in a room with the Divine to be held more temptation for her than any offer a Desire demon had ever made but she steeled herself for the close contact and opened the door for the cloaked figure, following her in before shutting and barring the door.  Cassandra watched as the hood lowered, red hair gleaming like fire in the dim candlelight before she found herself face to face with the woman whose image had haunted her thoughts.  She stiffened as Leliana turned towards her, caught in the gaze of those bright blue eyes.  She drew back as a gloved hand pressed forward, rough leather tracing the scar on her cheek, eyes fixated on pink lips that parted to allow soft words to escape.

“It is good to see you... “

Cassandra nodded mutely, relieved when that hand touched, leaving her skin warm and prickly in its wake.  She could see the confusion in the bard’s eyes at her reaction but shrugged it aside.  She took a step away, turning to place her meal on the small table, her voice scratchy from disuse.

“You should not have come here Leliana.  It is too dangerous.”

The rogue studied the stiffness in the warrior’s stance and stepped closer, her hand trailing the long length of Cassandra’s spine as she whispered softly, “For you… or for me?”

She felt the shudder that went through the other woman, amused when the seeker took a large bite of tavern stew before moving away from her once more.  A part of her found the cat and mouse of the seeker’s movements intriguing, another part of her was tired of the chase.  She had not taken a small risk in coming here and, indeed, the time frame she had allotted herself was far too small for such games.  She spotted the warrior’s own cloak hanging on the chair and plucked it from the small piece of furniture, drawing the other woman’s attention.  Leliana tossed the garment at Cassandra, her voice tight with suppressed irritation.

“Gather your things, I have horses outside as well as a small contingent of my own scouts.”

Cassandra lifted a brow at the other woman’s tone and felt her lips quirk in disbelief.  “I must decline Most Holy.  I came to Denerim for a purpose and I’ve yet to question the townspeople as to this “seeker’s” whereabouts -”

Leliana stepped forward, her hand covering the warrior’s lips as she pressed close, her eyes watching as the seeker’s expression darkened.  “Your fellow seeker left days ago Cassandra.  He is heading to Therinfal Redoubt even as we speak.  I have dispatched my spies to seek out others in our absence.  I understand you wish to begin your search immediately but there are more pressing matters that must be dealt with first.”

“What matters Leliana?”

The spymaster hid her smile at hearing her given name from the seeker’s lips and fixed the taller woman with a hard stare.  “I require a guard for where I must go and there is no one else I would trust at my side.  We can be at the Waking Sea in less than a day’s ride.  There is a cottage there where I will conduct a vigil of my own with you as my sole attendant.  Josie has made the arrangements.”

Cassandra stared dumbfounded.  While the Divine-elect did have the option of performing a vigil prior to her coronation it was a practice rarely used and, the few times it had been invoked, such vigils were conducted within the walls of the Grand Cathedral.  She felt as though her surprise must have shone on her face when Leliana flashed her a bright smile, stepping closer still until their chests were but a hand’s breadth away from one another.  She looked away, refusing to meet that hypnotic blue gaze that so easily persuaded her to disregard the principles she had set for herself. 

“Is the thought of spending time alone with me so disquieting Cassandra?  I thought you would be pleased….”

The seeker struggled to keep the huskiness from her voice, every nerve tingling at being so close to the object of all her most recent fantasies.  She cleared her throat and shook her head, refusing to fall into the comfort of the kind of lie that would surely push the redhead away.

“It is not that…”  She paused and met Leliana’s eyes, exhaling sharply as the other woman closed the distance between them, pressing her slowly back, her shoulders coming to rest against the wall.  Cassandra swallowed hard before continuing, frowning as her voice shook slightly.

“I… I left for this very reason… you… you drive out the Maker’s focus… I cannot think with you so near… “

Leliana nodded, her voice purring as she leaned forward brushing her lips against the seeker’s ear, whispering as she slid her hand down the long length of Cassandra’s bicep to curl her fingers around a forearm corded with the muscles born of wielding both sword and shield.

“And I cannot think with you so far away but I will not leave things so unfinished between us mon ceuer… I know forever will not be ours… I know no bright future awaits us in the end but I would have what time I can steal away with you…”

She pulled back, surprised by the darkness of normally hazel eyes and ran her tongue over her lips as she resisted the urge to taste those of the seeker.  Instead she stepped away and motioned towards the door.

“I will wait for you outside.  Hurry.  It is best not to tarry here.”

Cassandra watched as pale hands pulled up the heavy cloak’s hood and the slim figure disappeared through the now open door.  She walked forward closing it slowly before resting her forehead against the rough grain of the wood, eyes closing as she breathed slowly, “Maker help me.”             
  



	10. Past and Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana steals time with Cassandra in a place from her past - smut/angst/feels

Cassandra scanned the dark shadows cast by trees in the full moon’s light, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.  She could feel the next Divine’s eye’s on her, could imagine the bemused smirk that no doubt was curling those full lips.  Her traitorous body warmed at the image, pulsing to life as she imagined tasting that smile, parting it with her own lips...Cassandra grunted, casting aside the annoyance of that unwanted flash of lust and dug her heels into her horse’s side, sending the animal into a slow trot as she sought to put a little more distance between the two of them.

Leliana studied the tall warrior as she pulled away, mildly annoyed by the silence that had persisted since they had left the din of the village.  She had hoped to draw the seeker into conversation but all attempts to do just that had been met with stony silence and the former bard could feel the chill of disapproval wafting from the other woman.  Things were so different now between them.  It had never occurred to the former Left that she would one day miss that companionship, the easy way the two of them had just existed with one another, constantly testing and balancing against each other’s views and opinions.  Too much had happened; the fall of the Conclave, the death of Justinia, the world thrown into chaos, Maker, declaring the Inquisition and saving the world… that they were no longer simply friends played no small part - of that Leliana was most sure.  

She had seen the stoic way Cassandra had ended her relationship with the mage Regaylan shortly after accepting Divine Justinia’s appointment to stay on as her Right hand.  She had listened to the gruff refusal to entertain the idea of carrying on any sort of romantic liaison while there was so much important work to be done and so the seeker’s stubborn silence was not wholly unexpected but it chafed her nerves.  Chagrined, the Divine-elect spurred her horse to catch up to the brash Nevarran, reining the animal gently as she came in step with Cassandra, blue eyes catching the familiar scowl that furrowed the seeker’s dark brows.

“Are you in such a hurry to reach our destination that you would abandon me to ride amongst the trees alone?”

Cassandra resisted the urge to cast a glance at the other woman, refusing to see if the playful smirk she imagined earlier was indeed in place.  Instead she shook her head and gave a stiff nod, her voice clipped, “My apologies Most -”

Her response was cut short by the unexpected jerk of the reins as they were pulled from her hands and she found herself turned, Leliana’s horse now blocking her path.  Blue eyes flashed in displeasure and Cassandra steeled herself for the recrimination that never came.  Instead she puzzled as the former Left dismounted, signaling her to do the same.  Cassandra pursed her lips, fighting the urge to argue the wisdom of stopping here in the middle of a dark forest, forcing her will to bend as she too dismounted, turning to face the slightly shorter rogue, swallowing as the sharp blade of a dagger was pressed against her throat.

Leliana fixed her lover with a hard glare, her frame following the close press of her blade, her voice whisper soft in the silence of the woods.  “I asked you not to call me that.”  She paused and let the blade scrape the sensitive skin as it slid lower, the flat of the blade resting against the collar of the seeker’s breastplate.  To Cassandra’s credit, the seeker hardly batted an eye but instead of being impressed it only irked the rogue all the more.  She wanted nothing more than to toss her blade to the ground and curl her fingers around that metal collar, jerk the seeker forward, to force a response, to convince, to perhaps persuade, not with words but with lips, teeth and tongue all the reasons why such a title should not be used between them.  Instead she fixed that patient stare with one of her own, lips parting with the intent to order the seeker never to call her as such again when an iron grip encircled her wrist, pulling her arm overhead as a heavy boot swept her feet out from underneath her.

Cassandra wrapped her free arm around the rogue’s waist, catching her weight as she shook the dagger from gloved hands.  She smirked at the surprise in wide blue eyes and pressed her advantage as she shifted behind the rogue, trapping the arm she’d disabled behind the other woman’s back.  The seeker had not anticipated gaining the upper hand so quickly and a short laugh escaped her at the knowledge.  Cassandra kept her hold firm, fully expecting the woman who would be Divine to struggle, to pull against her hold, to try any number of moves to regain her dominance.  She did not expect Leliana to press back against her hips, to hear a low silken purr mixed with that arrogant chuckle.  A harsh shudder coiled in her muscles, tremors crawling up her spine as heat flooded her face and she released the rogue, pushing the now laughing redhead away from her, glaring at the amusement coloring the Orlesian accented words.

“An impasse then yes?  Perhaps we can continue this… discussion at a later date no?  We are but a few hours ride from our destination, we can be there by dawn if we cease with these delays.”

The former bard stifled another laugh at the grunted response, her eyes watching admiringly as the tall warrior mounted her horse in one smooth motion, turning from her to continue down the path, leaving Leliana, once again, to follow from behind. 

 

* * *

 

Leliana swung her leg over her Ferelden mount as she hopped down from the saddle, stretching slightly, grimacing at the tightness in her muscles.  It had been far too long since she had ridden so long a distance.  She had forgotten just how sore one could become, a feeling she would no doubt forget again once ensconced upon the Sunburst throne.  Her lips twitched as she imagined the look on the Grand Cleric’s faces were she to insist on riding her own horse the breadth of Thedas instead of traveling in the Divine’s carriage.   She chuckled softly to herself as she walked the sweat dampened animal to the rickety stable that she’d had built so many years ago to began the arduous task of removing the saddle and tack from the poor animal.   

“Leave that, I will finish here.”

The voice came from behind her, unexpectedly and Leliana turned to see Cassandra silhouetted against the rising sun, armor gleaming in the orange light.  They had raced the last mile or so and it had warmed a part of Leliana to hear the triumphant laugh as the seeker pulled past her at the last bend.  The small victory still shone in the dark eyes that looked piercingly at her and the former left shrugged as she passed over the reins, flashing the other woman a small smile as a token of her thanks for the moment.  In truth she was glad for the distraction of the task, for it freed her to explore the small cottage and take inventory on what supplies Josie and Scout Harding had been able to procure on such short notice.  

Leliana walked slowly, eyes fluttering as she let the sunshine soak into her skin; it had been far too long for this as well.  She approached the door, smiling as she trailed her fingertips over the stack of firewood piled high to her right, her fingers thrumming the hard surface of each log as her ears strained for a tell tale hollow ringing.  The hiding place changed with every occupant but this had always been one of her favorites.

 

* * *

 

The key slid into place with ease and Leliana pushed open the door slowly.  For a moment she was taken back, a vision of what it would have been like to have returned to this place and call it home swam behind her eyes before vanishing with a shake of her head.  This was the only connection she had left to her past but it had been too many years since she had stepped foot into the small cottage.  She had uncovered the deed the night her benefactor died.  It had been at the behest of Marjolaine that she uncover whatever secrets Lady Cecile had on her before her estate and its assets were seized by the crown.  Leliana had almost missed it in her rush to ensure everything was placed exactly as she had found it.  She had not expected to uncover anything untoward yet the presence of the mysterious deed had kept her unsettled for days.  She had not told Marjolaine of its existence, choosing instead to keep such knowledge a secret from her worldly lover.    Indeed it had not been until after Elissa died that she had even visited the lonely cottage, using its dilapidated state to burn through her grief as she sought to restore it to what it once might have been.  

“What is this place?”

Leliana felt her muscles contract in surprise and chided herself on becoming so lost in memory that she’d failed to hear the heavy footsteps behind her.   The cadence of that rough tone betrayed the seeker’s curiosity.  She turned and took a breath, holding it for a moment before responding,  “It was my mother’s… but it's been many years since last I visited.”

Cassandra tilted her head slightly, her lips pursed in thought as she looked around the small structure.  It was the first time she could remember Leliana talking about her family.  In truth the warrior had never given it much thought, had never considered where the mysterious woman at her side had come from; she had always simply accepted the Left’s presence, trusting that Divine Justinia had vetted the woman carefully before bringing her into such a sensitive position.  

She turned to look at the former bard now as questions she’d never wanted to ask rose to the surface of her mind, questions she was unsure she had the right to ask.  As if reading her very thoughts she watched as Leliana turned and entered the cottage, her own feet carrying her closer to listen to the softly spoken words as they echoed in the almost empty space.

“I am not entirely sure how my mother came to own this place or if it was even hers at all.  I told you of the Orlesian noblewoman she served, the same noble who kept me on even after her death yes.  I found this deed in Lady Cecile’s things after she too joined the Maker’s side.  That it had been my mother’s was my only conclusion yet perhaps it was not… for all my skill I have never been able to uncover more than the most basic of facts about my origins, my mother apparently hid her tracks very well or perhaps she had none to hide at all.”

Cassandra caught the wry twist of the spymaster’s lips in the slight turn of her head as a pale hand extended the invitation to sit; an invitation the seeker accepted as she cleared her throat.  

“For all that you claim to never visit, it is well kept.”

Leliana nodded as she continued to look around, searching the stack of boxes and then the cupboards until she found what she was looking for.  She opened the wine setting it on a nearby table to let it breath while she searched for two clean glasses.

“It has mostly been used as a safe house for various agents over the years…”

She paused, fixing that amber gaze with her own a she poured the both of them wine.  Handing the glass to Cassandra, the spymaster took a preliminary sip of her own, letting the vintage coat her tongue before swallowing, her next words barely above a whisper.

“You are the only person I have ever brought here with me, the only one I have ever talked about this to...”

Cassandra stilled the raising of her glass, brows furrowing as the confession brought back all her lingering doubts and unease.  She set the glass down on the table beside her, wine untouched and frowned, unsettled by the difference that lay between what she felt and what she believed she should feel.  She fixed a hard glare at the slender figure across the room as she stood, forcing her scattering emotion into words.  

“Tell me why you followed me to Denerim… why are we here…. You are always complicating things… making them harder than they need be.  I made my... peace with the Grand Cleric’s decision that last night in Skyhold -  I forgave the easy way deception comes to you, I set aside my misgivings to spend those last few hours before the dawn of a new day…”

“And then you left… you left after branding me for hours with your touch, you left without a word of goodbye, not a single letter in two -”

Leliana stopped as she saw the anger faded from the seeker’s dark gaze, replaced with a mixture of guilt and regret, proud shoulders stooped slightly as Cassandra looked down and away, and she almost did not catch the huskily toned words.

“I regret leaving the way I did… it has haunted me truly… it was wrong… unworthy…”

Cassandra inhaled sharply as a warm hand palmed her cheek, turning her towards those too bright eyes, eyes that she had always sworn could see the darkest truths behind any lie.  She let herself be guided, stiffening slightly as soft lips brushed carefully against her own, fighting the urge to press forward.

“Peace… I do not want to fight, Maker knows we have had our fill of that…”

She paused, eyes taking in the nervous tremble of Cassandra’s lips, her eyes following the quick dart of the seeker’s tongue as it stroked along the soft curve of her bottom lip.  Leliana swallowed thickly, thoughts diffusing with the pros and cons before leaning in closer to brush their lips together once more, testing the stubborn warrior’s fading willpower as well as her own.  For weeks, nay months now, she had relived this in her mind, played out these moments in her dreams but both the Fade nor memory always paled to the reality of just how good it felt pressed against the seeker, years of wanting this - of fearing that want, of fearing what the future would hold for them now that she had been named Divine disintegrated as those war calloused hands hesitantly brushed the sides of her body,  doubt flickering behind that too honest gaze.  

She knew the reasons why, but she had taken no vows yet and she could not bring herself to think that the Maker would care either way.  Decision made, Leliana slid her fingers along the edge of that strong jaw, her thumb brushing over Cassandra’s bottom lip, catching it, dragging it down slightly as she slowly fitted her mouth to the seeker’s, twin groans echoing in the silence.

Cassandra felt a jolt of electricity course through her, her hands reflexively digging into rough chainmail as the familiar taste, feel and scent of the spymaster permeated her senses.  Her head swam as that all too clever tongue tangled with her own a in slow languid pattern of strokes clearly designed to drive her mad.  She felt her body flushing, the roar of her own heartbeat hammering in her ears, the world spun for a moment and Cassandra found herself in the chair once more, slender thighs pressing around her, the heat of Leliana bearing down on her slowly.  She gasped as blunted nails raked through her hair, yanking her head back as the woman atop her trailed a slow burning path down her neck only to drag the tip of her tongue back up.  Huskily murmured words panted softly in her ear, between biting kisses as impatient hands tugged at the hidden straps that held her armor in place, weaving a spell around her that she did not want to dispense.

“Maker I have dreamed of this… of you… like this… with me… but for His sake… tell me now if you truly don’t want this…”

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Leliana captured those kiss bruised lips with her own once more, her fingertips tracing all the paths her mouth had previously taken, losing herself for a moment in Cassandra's sweet sharp taste.  She bit back her own groan of protest as the seeker pulled away, breaking her mouth’s assault and Leliana was struck by the darkness in that normally amber gaze, pupils blown wide with an unspoken intensity.  She waited with baited breath, steeling herself for the rejection she knew was coming but gasped instead as strong hands slipped under the backs of her thighs, lifting the rogue just enough to push her off balance, her hands clutching at strong shoulders, holding fast, her brow furrowing in confusion for a brief moment before gravity tipped her towards the floor.  The Left braced herself but the hard impact never came and she felt the strength of Cassandra rippling around her as the seeker knelt over her, searing lips on hers as her back pressed against the rough wood of the floor.

She stretched over the slender body beneath her, their legs tangling as her fingers slid through silken red hair.  Cassandra swallowed the low moan that escaped the rogue’s mouth as her thigh pushed higher pressing firmly to that radiating heat.  Her fingers slid lower, pushing up the chainmail shirt, tugging at leather ties before pushing down past velvety warmth and into the slick heat that pulled at her greedily.  

Leliana gasped, head falling back, spine arching up with that sure thrust, a pitched moan escaping her as Cassandra answered with another.  She shuddered as a low growl vibrated against her lips before they were hungrily taken again.  Her hands slipped over the seeker’s armor as she moved her body to meet the press of that touch.  Her muscles coiled, trembling as she raced towards completion faster than she ever thought possible.  It would be so easy to lose herself in this, to give herself again and again but their last night together flashed in her mind.  She jerked back, ending the kiss, her thighs reflexively tightening restricting the seeker’s motions.  Confusion marred her lover’s features and Leliana smiled gently, her breath still coming in pants as she rose up, cupping the seeker’s head as she gave another lingering kiss.

“Not that I am keeping score but I believe it is my turn to lead…”

She paused, her eyes fluttering as strong fingers slipped slowly from her fighting the ache the leaving brought as well as the temptation to pull them back in.  Leliana caught the flash of uncertainty in those amber eyes and held her lover’s gaze as she unsnapped the clasp bearing the symbol of the Inquisition, letting her cloak fall around her.  She deliberately took her time, though in truth she wanted nothing more than to hurry.  Quick fingers slipped the hidden buckles, straps and clasps that held the various pieces of her armor together, watching closely as Cassandra did the same thing, their eyes following the paths their hands took; left following right,  right over left, back and forth, over and under until crisp air caressed exposed skin.

Cassandra’s heart pounded, her fingers shaking slightly as she pulled apart her armor, every piece that littered the floor a shining example of another wall shed.  As much as she had driven herself mad trying to convince herself of the opposite, she did want this.  All the prayer, all the meditation she had stored to build the necessary wall around herself had shattered with a single sigh of her name and the first touch of those rose colored lips, soft against her own.  In that instant the decision of the Clerics did not matter, nothing had except the woman in front of her.  Leliana was right… they might only have these stolen moments but she would rather have what little she could than to spend the rest of her life fruitlessly denying just how lost she was to her former counterpart.

She watched as the last piece of leather was pulled from that slender form and dove forward, pinning the rogue beneath her, the shared kiss a fierce competition that left them both breathless.  Cassandra tugged the linen tunic up, hands skimming the silken paleness of Leliana’s skin as she traced the play of bone and muscle before hooking her fingers at the waistband of those dark leather breeches, tugging them down and down and down again, flinging them aside.  The seeker felt herself turned into another bruising kiss, deft hands pulling at her own tunic and she pulled away to allow it too to be cast aside before being pushed back down against the rough wood floor.

 

* * *

 

Blue eyes rose, watching intently as her lover arched up, shuddering breaths mixex with low moans breaking the mid morning silence as Leliana purposely held the seeker at the edge of her release.  Smirking, the rogue shifted the angled press of her fingers, sliding her tongue higher, slipping it deeper wrangling a ragged gasp from the warrior.

“Maker… Leliana… please…”

That tone sent goosebumps along every inch of her, the aching pulse between her own legs pounding harder.  Leliana moaned softly in response as she let the fingertips of her other hand slowly trace the quivering muscles of her lover's stomach as the thighs pressed tightly against her ears shook in response to each flick of her tongue..  She had never heard Cassandra beg, did not know the warrior even knew how and to hear those words, her name, in that pleading ragged voice made her want to give her lover exactly what she was asking for.

The former bard slipped her hands under the seeker's clenching muscles, lifting her, pressing her closer as she wrapped her lips around that pulsating ridge, tongue moving in languid strokes as she employed every lesson Marjolaine had every imparted on her.  Her name gasped above was her reward, every twitch of her tongue sending those syllables higher and higher until a telling moment of silence hung in the air moments before before the seeker's body arched up, her strangled moan of release echoing.

Leliana lapped her reward slowly, her eyes watching the rapid rise and fall of the seeker’s chest.  Humming softly she gently slid her mouth along the relaxed muscle of Cassandra's thigh, moving steadily upwards, pressing long kisses to every inch she encountered, ending her journey as she pressed against the seeker's side, nuzzling against that sweat dampened neck as she purred softly, “I missed you….”

Cassandra barely registered the words tickling her ear, barely felt the warm press of another against her, her thoughts floating as if in the fade itself.  The world felt surreal, and though her hammering heart kept her tethered to reality, she was loath to push aside the weightlessness that seemed to permeate every muscle in her body.  

Wandering hands brought her slowly back, and she turned to capture parted lips, tasting the spymaster, tasting herself as she wrapped her arms around a slender waist, rolling to her side as she pulled Leliana closer.  Legs tangled, her thigh slipping higher to press against soaked flesh and Cassandra pulled back in surprise, her eyes catching the sensual twist of rosy lips before being close again by the sender fingers tangling in her hair.  Warm breath tickled her lips as as she was pulled over her lover, catching her weight on her elbows, a soft moan escaping her as they pressed chest to chest, hip to hip, wet warmth smearing along her thigh as she pressed her leg forward once again.

Leliana gasped the seeker’s name, arching back as she moved to match the slow building rhythm, the rough scrape of the wood against her back a delicious counterbalance to the pleasure building within.  Her lips sought Cassandra’s once more, breaking the rough kiss with a continual stream of soft gasps, moaned curses, and breathy instructions in a mixture of languages that grew steadily more choppy as she grew closer and closer to that elusive peak of pleasure.  

She felt Cassandra shift above her, a calloused hand gripping her thigh, the loss of pressure wrenching a cry from her lips and Leliana raised her head, brow furrowing only to have her open mouth caught once more in a deep kiss as she was pressed back down, eyes widening at the brush of slick heat against her own. The seeker’s angle shifted again and Leliana arched up meeting the slow grinding thrust of the warrior’s hips, sparks lighting behind her eyes, her core jolting, breath hitching as another grinding thrust sent her over the edge.

Cassandra gasped as nails clawed down her back, falling with her lover as another wave overtook her as well.  She rested her head in the crook of the spymaster’s shoulder, panting as she coasted down from that explosive high.  She felt lips brush her temple, that Orlesian lilt whispering her name as she lifted her head to flash the redhead a tired smile, her fingers brushing strands of hair away from that beloved face before leaning down to steal another kiss from smiling lips.

Leliana sighed as their lips touched again and brushed her hand through the seeker’s hair affectionately tugging away the pins that held her crown braid in place before inquiring -  “Where did you learn to do that?”

She watched as flushed cheeks turned even pinker and sat up with the seeker, smiling at the easy way she was still able to make Cassandra blush despite all their years together, at the predictable way the other woman turned away and ran a hand through her hair, sweeping the falling braid back over her shoulder as Leliana strained to hear the words mumbled beneath a sigh.

“A book I picked up somewhere…”

The spymaster chuckled and leaned forward to wrap her arms around strong shoulders as she kissed the long scar that marred the seeker’s cheek, turning her head to brush her lips against the shell of her ear, feeling the tremor that shook through the other woman’s body.

“Perhaps we can make our way to the bed and you can show me what other sort of surprises this mysterious book has taught you no?”

Cassandra felt her cheeks flush again and cursed her own inability to hide the effect that lilted purr had on her mind and body.  Already her memory was conjuring up the vivid imagery that those written words had sparked during those all too lonely nights she’d spent on the road thinking of this, of Leliana, or the two of them replacing the two main characters.  She had picked the book up on a whim from a dusty shop south of Skyhold, the romantic scenes held within making all her favorite parts of Varric’s “Swords and Shields” pale in comparison.  Seeking to change the subject she quirked an eyebrow at the smirking redhead and frowned slightly.

“Bed?”

Leliana laughed and shook her head, “Surely you didn’t think I would force my agents to sleep on the floor Cassandra… I may be many things but a bad host is not one of them.”  She stood then, careful to avoid tripping on the discarded bits of armor and clothing before extending her hand to her former counterpart to her feet, smiling as her lover stood and strong arms wrapped around her waist, lips ghosting the top of her head before lacing their fingers together, following her lead to the other room.   
  
  


* * *

 

Cassandra studied the light of the fading sun as it illuminated the woman sleeping next to her.  She had always wondered what the Left Hand looked like when she slept, if her features would soften when the cares of her office were forgotten.  She had never once thought she would see it, since Leliana took great care to further the fear that Sister Nightingale did not sleep, did not need to do so, that her eyes were ever watching.  To see that rumored theory dispelled made her more human, more fallible and Cassandra thought she had never seen anything so lovely.  It felt as though she were waking from a long dream; a gift of the fade where she’d had no thought of the future, where she lived only for the present and the pleasure they created within it.  She had forgotten what it felt like to have a lover, to share a bed, to fall asleep in someone else’s arms and to wake early enough to watch the slumber of another.  Those hidden stolen moments at Skyhold felt incomplete when compared to this and Cassandra found herself wishing they could stay here in the now without a care for the future of their faith or the rebuilding of her order but even as sated as she was now she could not completely forget what lay ahead of them.  

Where before it had felt wrong to think of Leliana in such a manner, Cassandra found herself not caring if there were vows to be taken, if there was no bright future for the two of them.  Leliana had always preached of her belief that love was the Maker’s gift, that a vow of celibacy in His name should be personal preference not canon law, a belief Cassandra had previously scoffed at as wishful thinking but lying here with her now… she could not help but think He had a hand in it.

“You’re staring.”

Cassandra blinked and refocused on the woman beside her, surprised to see a faint smile curling the redhead’s full lips.  She watched as the bright blue eyes emerged from behind thick lashes and found herself smiling in return as she reached over to trace her fingertips along velvety pale skin.

“I was pondering the Maker’s gifts.”

Blue eyes flashed in amusement and Leliana sat up, resting her weight on her elbow, a tease ready on her lips.  “Oh?  And what gifts would that be?”

Cassandra mirrored her lover’s pose and gave a small shrug, her brow furrowed in concentration as she struggled to put her errant thoughts into words.  “I was thinking of your belief that love is the Maker’s greatest gift…”  She paused at the slow smile that curved Leliana’s lips and felt the warm press of a bow calloused hand as it lay over her heart.  

“You are His gift to me Cassandra, I believe that now more than ever.”

Leliana leaned forward brushing her lips against the seeker’s, smiling at the sigh of contentment that escaped the hardened warrior.  She moved to press closer when a low growl sounded and she glanced down and then up at her lover’s face, grinning slightly.

“It seems I have been remiss in my duties as a host afterall…”

Cassandra rolled her eyes before pinning the now laughing spymaster beneath her, brushing her nose against Leliana’s before stealing a slow kiss that left both of them breathless.  Chuckling as the spymaster pushed her away playfully.

“I think the wine I opened this morning has had adequate time to breath yes?  Should we see what other provisions Josie packed for us?”

Another rumbling growl made Cassandra’s answer clear without words and Leliana rolled away, standing swiftly to wrap a robe around her before tossing the seeker a clean tunic and breeches.  Her eyes moved to the quickly disappearing sunlight as she fought the wave of anxious melancholy that washed over her.  Their first day was almost over and it felt as though it had barely begun…  Leliana shook aside the feeling as Cassandra’s arms wrapped around her from behind.  No.  She would not let herself become mired down with worry or regrets, not now.  There would be time enough for that later on sleepless nights spent missing this woman and wondering if the decisions she made would strengthen their shared faith or tear it asunder.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the 2 month hiatus (work work work but now that clients are happily settled and my 9-5 has gone back to just that I can work on the things I actually WANT to work on.. like this!) After so much angst these two deserve at least a little fun..
> 
> Thank you for the reviews/kudos :)


	11. Where the Past Collides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff intermixed with past angst - Enjoy

Leliana forced herself to shrug aside the warm lethargy that had settled into every part of her, ignoring the pull of Cassandra’s heat at her side.  The room was still bathed in candlelight, their makeshift meal lay half eaten on the small bedside table along with the now empty bottle of wine.  She let her eyes wander the planes of naked skin that lay exposed outside the sheets, her fingertips tracing intricate patterns down the long curve of her lover’s back, lingering on and memorizing the pale scars a lifetime of battles had left.  The rogue watched as the sleeping warrior arched unconsciously into her touch, a fond smile touched Leliana’s lips and she repeated the careful touch again, letting her fingers brush against the short hairs that curled at the seeker’s nape.  

It was intoxicating getting to touch her like this, seeing that stern scowl relaxed in sleep - blue eyes carefully mesmerized by the way the candlelight caressed all that naturally golden skin.  She pulled back, not wanting to awaken the other woman.  The former bard stretched her muscles slowly, enjoying the slight soreness in them, a smile playing at her lips as her mind supplied a memory of that muscled body stretched atop hers, those tireless fingers and that intense stubborn lustful stare that had refused to back down until the spymaster was a limp shaking mess beneath her.    A shiver ran up the Orlesian’s spine as she recalled the breathless adoration that had been mixed with the seeker’s low groans; sounds she had memorized and tucked away to be treasured later.  Leliana hummed softly, her pleased sound morphing seamlessly into the bars from a favorite lay as she chanced another stroke of her fingertips along deceptively soft skin.

Cassandra labored to keep her breathing even under that feathery touch, struggling valiantly not to stretch and enjoy the lazy caresses.  She felt her mouth twitch in surprise as the that lilting voice began to hum a vaguely familiar tune and the seeker forced herself to remain still so she could enjoy it.  It had been years since she had heard Leliana sing anything more than the occasional hymn and the richness of the bard’s voice was hauntingly beautiful to her ears.  As the song drew to a close the seeker stiffened as she felt warm lips brush her ear.

“I know you’re not sleeping.”

Leliana watched as a dark brow arched and a thick lashes parted to reveal an amber eye.  She leaned back as the seeker rolled to her side, both eyes open now and felt herself flush at the warmth in that gaze.  The spymaster reached over and slid her fingers along the warriors, feeling the callouses from years of swordplay as they tangled with her own.  

“How long have you been awake?”

Cassandra felt her lips twitch and offered the other woman a slow smile, her voice still thick from disuse as she murmured, “Long enough.”  She watched as the spymaster huffed and felt her chest swell with emotion as Leliana slid down the bed, slowly pressing their bodies together as she tucked her head under Cassandra’s chin.  The seeker’s arms wrapped around the other woman reflexively, pulling her closer, wondering at the sudden shift in the bard’s mood.  She bent her head slightly, inhaling Leliana’s unique scent and sighed, contentedly.

“The song was beautiful.  You should sing more often.”

Leliana smiled against the warm skin pressed to her cheek and brushed her lips over the seeker’s collarbone.  “I’m glad you thought so.  It’s been a long time since I sang something more than the Chant for someone else.  I did not know I missed it so.”

She trailed her lips higher, smirking as she felt the catch in Cassandra’s steady breath, nipping the seeker gently before lifting her head, studying the other woman in dimmed light.  Candlelight suited her, accenting the high cheekbones, softening the harder angles.  Leliana had always thought her beautiful and whispered such as she traced the warrior’s face slowly with her hands, smiling as the seeker predictably brushed aside the compliment.  Chuckling, the spymaster leaned forward kissing the stubborn noble gently, before pulling back to ponder what would come next.  She looked past the seeker to the food that still lay on the small table and then back at Cassandra, a smirk tugging at her lips.

“Perhaps we should next finish the meal we started.  If you plan to keep me abed the next few days Cassandra I will need my strength.  These past few years have not kept me as battle fit as you.”

The seeker flushed at the implication, her eyes instantly narrowing, determined to deny the temptation such words offered even as a shudder worked its way down her spine.  She shook her head, scowling at the spymaster’s cheek for a brief moment before sitting up and bending over to retrieve her discarded tunic and breeches, ignoring the warm blue gaze she was sure was watching as she covered herself.  Cassandra looked at the plate of food as she reached over to retrieve an apple from the small table.  She stiffening for a moment and then relaxed into the warmth now pressed to her side as a slender arm snaked around her waist, dark red hair glinted in candlelight as the spymaster bent to retrieve a slice of Antivan cheese.  Her thoughts turning to the words Leliana had spoken earlier as she slipped from that light hold to explore the other boxes that lay unopened.

“You said Josephine packed these?”

Leliana ate slowly, watching as Cassandra carefully opened the first crate, nodding when the warrior glanced back at her.  “Yes.  She was instrumental in arranging this.  When I first proposed a vigil the Clerics immediately argued against it stating it was far too dangerous.  It was Josie that convinced otherwise.”

The rogue watched as her warrior turned her head, brow furrowed.  “Then… she knows…”

Leliana stood and with a step drew close to the seekers side, her hand cupping a scarred cheek as she nodded, blue searching hazel carefully.

“I trust Josie explicitly Cassandra, she would never do anything that would hurt me or even you.  She is a friend, one of my few, and she holds you in high esteem.”

Cassandra tilted her head slightly and sighed as she pulled away from the gentle touch, unsure of how to feel or what to think.  Instead she bent over the open crate again, carefully removing another bottle of wine before responding.

“I do not question Lady Montilyet’s loyalty, but I am surprised with your penchant for secrets, that you told her.”

The seeker turned at the light chuckle and raised a brow at such an unexpected response. She saw the spymaster’s lips twist in a wry smile as quick fingers uncorked the wine, pouring them both glasses before shifting to recline back against the bed amid the tangle of sheets.  

Leliana took a sip of the already honeyed wine, letting the cool liquid coat her mouth for a moment before swallowing.

“I did not tell her, she guessed -”

The rogue broke off at the widening of her lover's eyes, rolling her own at the disbelief so clearly etched on the seeker’s face.

“It is not  **that** surprising Cassandra, she has known me for a long time, longer than even you, and she was trained as a bard herself -”

She broke off again at the dry chuckle that escaped the other woman's mouth and huffed, tilting her chin up as she looked away rolling her eyes again as the chuckle escalated to a warm laugh that tugged a smile from the spymaster’s lips.  Leliana opened her eyes as the bed sagged slightly, watching as the seeker crossed her legs and sipped from her glass, lips still quirked in a half smile.

“Then I suppose we shall have to hope nobody else in Val Royeaux has know you as long.”

Leliana shook her head at the tease, nudging the thigh closest to her playfully as she tipped her glass back again, draining the contents before tossing it to the ground, rising to her knees and looping an arm around Cassandra's neck, smiling when a long arm automatically wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer as that dark head tipped back to meet the press of her lips.  She kept the touch of her lips teasing and light; quick pecks melding into something longer and sweeter that slowly stoked a fire she thought their previous actions had banked.  Leliana pulled back, eyes searching Cassandra’s flushed face as she warred internally against expressing, once again, just how dear the stalwart warrior had become to her.  The darkness in those normally light eyes told her she wasn’t the only one fighting such emotion and the spymaster surged forward, capturing the other woman’s lips, giving in for a brief moment, the sound and feel of the growl that escaped Cassandra sending a thrill up her spine.  

The seeker chased the kiss when it ended, pressing forward, arms tightening to keep that slender frame pressed against her, sighing when a husky chuckle breathed against her lips.

“Get dressed.  There is something I want to do.”

Cassandra frowned slightly, but complied by tugging on her boots and running a hand through short bangs as she watched Leliana pull on a familiar cowl before flashing her a coy smile as she extended a pale hand.

“Come.  It is not far from here.”

Here she hesitated.  Though she had no doubt Leliana had ensured their privacy, she did not wish to tempt fate more than what was necessary.  Finding out the Josephine knew was one thing, accidentally being seen by an unknown was quite another.  Scowl firmly in place the seeker shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Is this truly wise Leliana?  I know you said you have your agents surrounding this place but what if they stumble across us…”  She broke off, flushing as she struggled to think of a diplomatic term for their recent activities.

Leliana grinned, sensing the seeker’s discomfort and taking the rare opportunity to deepen the lovely shade of red currently beginning to stain tan cheeks.

“Making love?”  She offered helpfully, pausing before providing other terms that served to only spread that flush.

“Naked and writhing in pleasure?  Bedding each other?  Fornicating?”

Cassandra grunted and shook her head, cursing her tendency to blush, feeling the heat in her cheeks grow hotter as she forced her mind away from the images such words created.  

“The first one and yes, that.”

Leliana drug her teeth across her lower lip, watching with satisfaction at the way Cassandra watched her every move before moving forward, taking and pulling at the seeker’s arm even as she grabbed at the small satchel she’d had Josephine procure.  

“I suppose you’ll just have to trust me then.”

 

* * *

 

Light had just peaked over the horizon and Cassandra found herself equally mesmerized by the sight of the sun rising slowly above the Waking Sea and the woman at her side.  They had stopped just as the sky had begun to lighten and she had watched as Leliana spread out various food across an old blanket.  It had been years, decades even since she’d had anything remotely resembling a picnic and it surprised her how natural it felt to have one with her former counterpart now.  They had certainly shared meals together but none like this; small bites of unnamed delicacies chased first by chaste kisses that grew longer and more passionate as the meal progressed until circumstances found the seeker on her back, her lover pressed over her.  The meal lay forgotten as the sun rose above them and languid caresses caused the seeker to tip back her head, teeth digging into her lip to stifle a groan as her hand circled that delicate wrist, pressing a wandering hand to her stomach.  Cassandra gasped as those deft fingers stubbornly circled her navel, sharp teeth nipping at her neck, nuzzling, warm lips parting and she hissed at the slow suction right below her ear.

“We should go back…”

Leliana purred at the timbre of that accented voice and resumed her slow teasing, curious to see if she could convince the warrior to set aside her trepidation and give herself to the moment.  The hand grabbing her wrist slackened for just a moment before tightening and the rogue found herself on her back, that hand pressed to the blanket beside her, a hard thigh nestled between her own.  She looked up and shivered at the desire in those dark eyes; humbled by the fact that only one other had ever seen such fire.  Leliana leaned up to tempt her lover into another kiss only to have her lips miss their mark and she chuckled and kissed a line along that hard jaw,

“If you won’t be tempted into pleasure then at least allow me to take you where I had originally intended…”

Cassandra frowned, confused for a moment as she looked down at mischievous eyes.  

“I thought…”

She paused as Leliana shook her head, a teasing smile twisting full lips and set back to allow the other woman room to rise.  The seeker moved to pick up the now messy scene, lips thinning with reluctant amusement at the rumpled expanse of cloth and overturned containers.  They worked together in tandem, clearing the area much faster than it had taken to put everything out.  Hands brushed against her throughout the process, teasing touches and silent promises that warned the seeker that the former spymaster would not be dissuaded from what she wanted for long.  It was distracting, yet Cassandra pushed through curious as to what the redhead wished her to see.  She could not hazard even a guess, not here, not in this unfamiliar place threaded with echoes of the past and impossible glimpses of the future.  A gnarled tree stood out in the sunlight, its twisted shape contrasting with its straighter brethren.  White scars marring the surface caught her eye and the seeker stood, studying  the damaged surface.  The bark looked to have been chipped away by something, a wild animal maybe?  Cassandra drew closer, running her hands along the abnormal scarring.

“Daggers.”

She turned at the voice, brow furrowing at the churning mixture of emotion in that steady blue gaze as a pale hand joined her own on the tree, surprised when Leliana answered the unasked question on the tip of the warriors tongue.

“Mine.  I was angry when I first came to this place.  Angry and hurt.  I… did not handle my solitude well.”

Cassandra turned back to the tree, fingers tracing over the deeper punctures. She didn’t need any further explanation; she could fill in the blanks easily enough and her heart ached for all the pain Leliana had endured. To lose one's mother so young, to be thrust into a life of seduction and lies, where love and betrayal walked hand in hand.  To be used then tortured and scarred, to find faith and miraculously love again only to have it ripped away all in the name of a greater good...

Instinct drove the seeker to wrap an arm around that slender waist, offering silence and comfort as she gently pulled the other woman close; breathing in the crisp clean scent of her skin before murmuring against the silky strands of hair tickling her face.

“You do not have to explain Leliana.  Hurt and anger I understand all too well.  Let us away from here.  You said you had something to show me?”

The rogue nodded, grateful for the seeker’s understanding - grateful for the change of subject.  The past pulled at her here, memories she had long sought to bury, seemed to resurface with ease and the ghost of the pain she had survived so many years before threatened to weigh down this newfound joy.  Shaking her head at the darkness within her own thoughts, she refocused on Cassandra and leaned into that solid heat, wondering how a woman she had first described to Justinia as aloof could have hidden such warmth away for so long.  She felt as though she was just now seeing the seeker’s walls come down, emotions previously hidden now seeping through the cracks of that rugged exterior.

Lacing together their ungloved hands, the former spymaster tugged her lover forward, leading her up a previously  hidden path, her mind falling back to the memory of walking the same path with another.

 

* * *

 

 

_ “It’s not far now if the maps can be believed Sister Leliana… wait, do I still call you that or is it just Leliana?” _

_ The question itself gave her pause.  Who was she now?  She had left the sanctuary of the Chantry, compelled by a dream to assist the last of Ferelden’s Wardens.  She had survived countless dangers, had her faith rekindled by the uncovering of the Sacred Ashes of Andraste and against all odds found herself in love once again only to have that precious gift snatched away by duty, her faith shattered alongside her heart as she was forced to watch her lover fall.  She had barely survived the funeral, the celebrations that resounded through the kingdom spreading a joy that she swore she would never feel again.   _

_ She felt a small hand on her arm and looked down at large brown eyes teeming with intelligence and concern.  It felt… odd to be touched so casually again and Leliana fought the desire to snatch her arm away.  Instead she forced herself to smile and shrugged an answer. _

_ “You can call me whatever you wish Dagna, but Leliana will do for now yes?” _

_ She watched as the dwarf studied her, grateful that those expressive eyes did not display the pity she had so often seen in those she had once called friend.  Sensing her reluctance to talk the artificer trudged forward, words pouring forth as she pointed out the odd plant or landmark.  Even as the path grew steeper the girl’s voice did not waiver and Leliana almost collided with the woman as she stopped suddenly, voice filled with excitement. _

_ “The maps  _ **_weren’t_ ** _ wrong, just inaccurate - I’ll have to fix that when I return to… oh never mind, look, look this is what I wanted to show you!” _

_ Blue eyes widened as she took in the three large pools of water, surrounded by natural stone and tempered lyrium, lazy tendrils of steam rising in the rapidly cooling air.  She had heard of such places yes; had even visited them on occasion but to find one so close to the cottage… _

_ “I know it isn’t much, and it won’t bring her back but I wanted to share this with you.  If not for you all I would still be trapped in Orzammar.  Your kindness gave me my dreams, it’s only right that I pay a part of that back… I just… I wanted to do something… she was a hero,  _ **_my_ ** _ hero and -” _

_ Leliana fought the tears that filled her eyes and swallowed the lump that pressed hard in her throat as the memories brought back by the kind words.  Shaking her head, forcing the pain back down, she knelt knelt and gathered the dwarven prodigy in her arms, unable to voice her appreciate as she squeezed tight, eliciting a small squeak of surprise _

 

* * *

 

Cassandra frowned, concerned by the steadily slackening grip and abnormal silence, calves burning as the path grew steeper.  Her eyes darted to the figure in front of her, lips parting to speak when suddenly Leliana stopped and Cassandra’s eyes narrowed and then widened with surprise as she scanned the horizon.  Clouds of steam hung in pockets over the pool of water housed within the small alcove.  Stepping forward, the seeker knelt down and dipped her fingers in, a smile tugging at her lips.   _ Orlesians _ , she thought fondly as she turned back to Leliana, smile fading slowly as she watched the bard’s breeches pool at her feet, arms lifted overhead to toss aside her tunic.

“Maker...”

Leliana paused in her stretching at the rapt adoration in that accented voice and looked down, surprised at the naked admiration in that quickly darkening gaze.  She stepped out of the fallen cloth to pull the seeker up to face her, hands trailing along the other woman’s side to tug her closer, hand pushing up at the rough tunic to slide her hands against heated skin.  She pressed their bodies together, nuzzling sweat damp skin, lips brushing a light trail up her seeker’s neck before tasting the parted lips briefly.

“Join me?”

Leliana smiled at the visible shudder that shook the other woman and leaned forward, lips capturing Cassandra’s once again, tongue teasing as she pulled the tunic higher and higher, hissing as their stomachs brushed briefly.  One last lingering kiss and the spymaster released the warrior, turning her back to gently lower herself into the hot water.  She couldn’t stop the small moan that escaped her lips as heat seeped into her skin, instantly relaxing the tension of stiff muscles.  

Cassandra watched as Leliana disappeared, face flushing at the indulgent moan that resounded in the air.  She swallowed hard, throat parched from both the hike and the memory of seeing that flawless beauty flaunted before her.  It was little wonder the redhead had been so successful in her first vocation; the way she moved, the way she teased, the way she made love… 

The seeker shook her head, forcing her mind away from the pleasure associated with such thoughts.  There was more to this that just showing her a hot spring, of that she was sure.  There had been a well of sadness in those blue eyes at the tree and the silence during their walk had spoke volumes.  Cassandra was used to trying to decipher the small signals and tells from the other woman during all their years of working together and since becoming lovers she had noticed a pattern from the former bard, a tendency to hide her pain with pleasure, to distract from conversation with a smile and a taste of things to come.  The seeker flushed slightly when she realized just how effective such a method had been with her; too caught up in this newest facet of their long relationship.  Steeling her spine she turned away now, methodically removed her clothing, determined to hear all the words her lover wasn’t saying.  

Leliana smiled in anticipation as she heard the rustle of clothing behind her and reached for the satchel she had brought with them, carefully removing the scented bar of soap and running it along her arms before sinking back into the water, eyes widening when strong hands lightly cupped her hips

“Let me.”

The spymaster tried to turn towards the voice only to have her body turned back around, the bar of soap wrested away, the hair in her face hiding a smile as rough hands gently rubbed the bar along her back and shoulders.  Strong fingers massaged knotted muscle blending into feathery touches that traced all her scars and Leliana tipped her head back, resting it on a broad shoulder as those same hands moved slowly to the front of her body.  She could not remember the last time someone had done this for her, though it had to have been back during her days with Marjolaine for she had not indulged in such luxury since.  She would never have expected such behavior from Cassandra.  The slow careful reverence of that touch, the feeling of being a singular point of focus… it was though she was being worshiped.

Leliana stiffened as that thought drove home a reality she was not ready to think of here and now but relaxed once more as that beloved voice told her to close her eyes and she did, sighing as warm water ran down her face.  She arched into the calloused fingers massaging the soap into her scalp now, every nerve slowly awakening, hungry for more.  Patience exhausted (for she was never quite as patient when it came to this) the bard turned quickly, capturing slightly chapped lips, shaping them to her own as she poured out her thanks with every stroke of her tongue.

The seeker struggled not to lose herself in that heated exchange, slanting her mouth for dominance as she pressed the pale figure against the rocks, groaning as short nails dug into her scalp, surprised when sharp teeth nipped at her lower lip ending the kiss with a playful smirk.  The husky sound of Leliana’s voice almost unrecognizable as deft fingers picked at her crown braid, loosening it, pulling the longer strands free.

“My turn.”

Cassandra’s mind was a blur of half-formulated thoughts, blood pounded in her ears, beneath her chest and between her thighs as the hands caressing her grew bolder still.  The bar of soap lay forgotten on the rocky edge, strong thighs hooked around her waist as clever lips drank in all the sounds she could not contain.  She could feel where the water ended and Leliana began, fingers twitching to feel that clenching heat from within but stayed her hand, surprised when those lips left hers to whisper, “Not yet my love.”

She shivered as smooth thighs slipped away, short fingernails scratching at her scalp as she was turned and her crown braid was loosened and undone.  Cassandra let herself be pushed under for a moment, moving to press her lips against the taut skin that covered Leliana’s stomach, hearing the faint chuckle faintly above before fingers tightened in her hair, pulling her back to the surface.  She pushed against that smooth expanse of silken skin, fingers tangling in hair now the color of bloodstone, lips seizing the spymaster’s, kissing her now as though it were a competition, a battle of sorts that was ended almost as soon as it started by the press of a single pale digit against her lips followed by a slow devious smile beneath hooded eyes.

“I have a surprise waiting for you at the cottage if you think you can wait.”

The seeker narrowed her eyes, curious as to what the other woman had planned.  They had left together so there would have been no time to arrange anything too extravagant, but she had not had time to check all of the crates that had been stacked against the wall.  Her brow furrowed as she struggled to think what sort of surprise the former Left would have procured for her, her frown giving way to a smile of her own as she thought of her own surprise that lay at the bottom of her travel pack.  She had only just picked the item up in Denerim before stopping at the inn…

Her thoughts fragmented, eyes widening in surprise as slender arms suddenly gathered her close and Leliana rested her head against her clavicle.  Cassandra relaxed into the rare embrace, content to merely enjoy the moment as she committed everything to memory.  The languid warmth of the water soothing away all tension, the almost reverent silence, the beauty of the nature that surrounded them.  It was like a scene from a book she had not yet read and the romantic in her reveled in it until the weight of Leliana was lifted from her chest and she looked down to a rueful grin and wrinkled fingertips being wiggled at her.

“Perhaps we should prepare to go back yes?”

The rogue watched as Cassandra nodded, her eyes studying the tall warrior as she pulled herself from the water.  She smiled and accepted the offers assistance, enjoying the play of the muscles in the seeker's arms as she was pulled upright.  Leliana shivered as cool air met wet skin and quickly dressed, pulling her still damp hair into a hair tie before pulling up her hood.  She felt Cassandra’s gaze on her and chuckled softly as the hood was pulled away, turning to catch the wry smile on her beloved’s face.

“You will have to get used to not hiding beneath such things.”

Her hand twitched to pull the hood back up but she resisted the ingrained habit.  Cassandra was right (as she almost always was).  Soon there would be nothing more to hide beneath and she would once more bare her face to all the incongruities of the grand game.  It would take all her considerable skill to achieve even a fraction of the things she wanted.  She let her mind wander down those twisting roads as calloused fingers laced with her own, pulling her her physical self onto a much narrower path.  Leliana allowed herself to be led, blinking back all her ideas and thoughts on the matter in order to allow her eyes to take in the imposing figure ahead of her.  Blue eyes darted from following the long dark remains of that skinny plait that was forever circling the crown of her seeker’s head to the strong curves and angles made all the more visible by the thin cloth sticking to that tall frame.  The sight took her back to another time in another place with another woman, strengthening the redhead’s resolve.

_ Whatever happens, I will not lose her too.  I would rather tear apart the world than live again without the one I love in it. _

She tightened her fingers around the seeker’s, lengthening her stride to bring her in line with the other woman, catching the brief flash of white teeth from the corner of her eye and answering with one of her own.

_ Whatever it takes. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give them a few scenic moments before they have to return to their respective duties - as always, thank you for reading/liking/commenting/kudo-ing (is that a word...) Hope you all had a fantastic holiday!


	12. Parting Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its been a long while, but worry not - I've not abandoned the story but I have decided to descend into shameless fluff and angst - these two need a little of that before Leliana ascends the Sunburst throne - Enjoy!

The lights flickering in the windows alarmed her and Cassandra halted, reaching for Leliana as she did.  Her hand fell to where her sword normally hung and she clenched her fist when she remembered she had not worn it.

“Wait, someone is here.”

The light chuckle that met her hesitant tone sent the seeker’s brows up and she fixed the spymaster with a pensive look.  “You... are not worried… wait,  **this** is your surprise?”

Leliana smirked and pulled away, taking both of the seeker’s hands in her own, eyebrow raising playfully.  “It is an element of it yes.”

She watched as Cassandra tilted her head, the worried look still twisting her sharp features, even as the spymaster drew closer.

“Trust me Cassandra, I would not risk this or you or us.”

Cassandra chewed her lip thoughtfully and nodded once, squeezing the rogue’s hands.  Even though she could not completely dispel her misgivings she could not doubt that what her lover said was true.  She was startled when Leliana pulled her forward, lips pressing to hers once, then twice and then those cool hands were framing her face, the kisses placed there now all at once lingering, demanding and fierce before dissolving into a languid pace that stole breath and left her panting in its wake.

“Ferme tes yeux mon cherchant”

The request breathed hot against her lips and Cassandra’s brow furrowed as she struggled with the translation for a moment.  Despite spending most of her life in Orlais she had all but resisted learning all but the most basic words, but she thankfully knew enough to discern the former bard’s meaning.  She took a breath and closed her eyes, feeling a cool hand close gently around her own, pulling her forward step by step.  The loss of sight sharpened her other senses and she knew instinctively when they had entered the cottage.  The air was strangely floral, the room’s warmth welcome after walking in the chilled coastal air.  She felt Leliana press against her side, lips teasing the shell of her ear as the other woman purred, “Open them.”  

The seeker opened her eyes slowly, struck silent by what she saw.  Candles filled the room and where there were not candles lay an impossible amount of flowers; roses of every color intermingled with Andraste’s Grace and various species of wildflowers she had seen throughout the whole of Thedas.  It was… so beautiful and unexpected and...  She swallowed hard, eyes moving around the room to find the once empty table laden with food and wine then to the bed, flushing at the sight of clean linens.  The seeker turned, stammering, “This is… no one has ever… how… how did you…”

Leliana smiled and wrapped her arm around the warrior’s waist, drawing her close, lips brushing a careful line of kisses up the side of her neck and along her jaw, teeth nipping at her chin before leaving a teasing kiss against the corner of those parted lips before pulling back to lose herself in the shifting colors of the seeker’s eyes.

“I wanted this day to be for you Cassandra.  All those years we traveled together, you always spoke of wanting to be wooed, to be given the ideal romance - flowers, candles, poetry.  I may never get to do this again, even if it is somewhat out of order…”

Leliana paused and traced a finger along the edge of a mouth she had come to know so well, sighing as doubt crept in.  “I know I am not the man of your dreams nor the lover you always pictured courting you but… I wanted to try, at least once before...”

Cassandra flushed at the words, embarrassed by her earlier close minded self. To think they… no she, had wasted so many years yearning for something she had always thought unattainable only to find that it had been before her all along, hidden in plain sight with this woman who knew, now, every hidden facet of her personality, even those she had not been aware of.  Emotions swelled and the seeker trailed her hand along the flowing curves of the body pressing against her.  Wonder filled her for a moment as she felt that slender frame shudder at her touch.  She pressed the flat of her hand against it’s warmth, appreciating the way sinuous muscle turned into taut softness beneath the fabric before her hand fisted at top of it, yanking the other woman hard against her.  Cassandra held her there, desire fueling her natural aggression as she backed the spymaster away from the door and deeper into the small cottage, her other hand falling to grip the swell of Leliana’s hip, lips firmly slanting over the redhead’s.

Leliana would have chuckled had the need she’d kept so carefully in check throughout the day not flared to life in the wake of the seeker’s forwardness.  It was just like Cassandra to act instead of speak, but in this case the former bard was more than willing to forgive and simply lose herself in action.  She let herself be pushed back, purring in approval when the back of her thighs hit the table’s edge.  She gasped as her lover slid her palms slowly down, hands curving to push the spymaster’s legs apart before settling between them.  Leliana felt her breath hitch as those hands moved, one pushing against her bound breast, the other rising higher to fist in her hair, drawing back her head, allowing the biting kisses to continue down her neck.  The sting of the seeker’s teeth confirmed that she was being marked and Leliana could not bring herself to care.  She wanted Cassandra to mark her, to claim her as her own even if only for a short while.  She could feel the edges of the plates her most trusted agent had placed so carefully, against the back of her hands and she laughed as she drug the seeker’s lips up, fixing the taller woman with a look.

“Bed cherie.  Now.”

Without thinking, Cassandra slid her hands down, palming handfuls of firm muscle, picking the slightly smaller woman up, frowning at the lightness in her frame; a result she knew that came from too many sleepless nights in the rookery, too many missed meals.  Her eyes fell on the food laden table before turning to look down at the woman in her arms.  

“Are you sure… we have not eaten since morning, we could…”

Leliana watched that beloved face flush and shook her head.  She could already feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears, a persistent warmth pulsing between her legs now an ache of tension demanding release as she gripped her lover harder with her thighs.

“No.  Strangely I find myself hungry for something else entirely.”

She felt the shiver roll through the warrior and leaned up, nipping at the edge of her ear, teasing it with her tongue as her lover moved.  She arched up as her back was pressed against cold sheets, the warmth of Cassandra stretching over and against her.  Their mouths met once more, teeth clanging, hands batting at each other in an attempt to pull aside the barriers between them.  Leliana laughed into the kiss as her tunic ripped and twisted, rolling the seeker on her back so that she could shrug the ruined material aside.  The spymaster rested her hands at the edge of generous hips, watching Cassandra as she slowly pushed up the seeker’s shirt, palms skimming over the soft skin covering muscle.  She felt a smile curve her lips when calloused fingers laced with her own, pulling them higher with a breathless whisper to not tease.  Leliana shook her head no as she leaned down, pinning those hands above dark hair, pressing her breasts against her lover’s, swallowing the seeker’s low groan as she kissed Cassandra deep and slow once more.  

 

* * *

Cassandra lay spent amidst tangled sheets, thankful that the morning had not yet come; she was not yet ready to surrender this night.  She felt boneless, relaxed in a way she could not remember ever being before.  Their lovemaking had been fierce to start, each of them competing to see who could bring the other to peak first and then again and again until the rush gave way to tenderness, achingly slow until every touch stretched the fabric of time and…  The seeker shook her head, a smile coming easily to her lips at the poetry that seemed mixed in her thoughts.  She looked at the red locks that lay scattered over her arm, the rise and fall of a scarred porcelain back that indicated the measured breaths of a deep sleep and then again at the flowing beauteous mass of flowers and candles.  Cassandra’s eyes fell on her travel gear, her hand twitching to go and grab what lay in the bottom of her pack.  She wanted to surprise this ruthlessly capable woman for once but the desire to watch her sleep won out so the seeker lay still until a slight twitch and a sleepy stretch indicated that the rogue’s rest had ended.  

Whispering her apologies with a press of her lips to the back of Leliana’s head, Cassandra rose, crossing the room on unsteady legs to retrieve the item she had picked up in Denerim.  

Leliana rolled over as she felt the bed shift, hand reaching for the warmth of her lover, eyes opening slightly when her palm met empty sheets and she set up swiftly, eyes darting around the room, settling on her seeker as the warrior searched through her bag.  Rolling to her side and resting her head on her arm, the former bard let her eyes rove appreciatively over that prone form, the interplay of muscle and scars, the slight tan line below the curve of the other woman’s neck, the shapely curve of her ass.  She smiled to see the small red finger marks on that olive skin, a remnant of their latest battle.  Her head cocked in curiosity when she noticed the small bag that accompanied the seeker as the other woman stood once more and once again, Leliana felt herself caught in the unfamiliar brightness of the easy smile being bestowed upon her.  She watched as Cassandra drew closer, eyes widening as the other woman knelt on the stone floor, hand outstretched in offering.

“I have a surprise for you as well.”

The huskiness of the Nevarran’s accent sent goosebumps racing along her skin and Leliana reached out, their fingers brushing as she took hold of the small leather pouch, turning it over in her hand.  The bag was light and heavy at the same time and carried a mark that she knew she had seen once before but could not place.  Curiously, she pulled open the ties and turned the bag on end, watching as something shiny pooled into her palm.  Brow furrowed she slid her other hand along the edge of the golden chain, gasping when she saw the multitude of colored scales connected together by intricate metal rings.  She took both ends of the necklace and held it up, bathing it in candlelight as the various colors darkened, sparkled and winked in the shimmering light.

“There was another reason I went to Denerim.  I have been saving these for some time; the scales from the dragon’s whose lives I have taken over the years.  I heard of a smith who was skilled in working with them so I sought his expertise.  It took him several tries but… I think the end result will suit you.”

Leliana stared at the gift and then at the solemn woman just past it.  Words, for the first time in a long time, escaping her as she looked back at the necklace.  It was beautiful and rare and unexpected and… perfect.  She thought she must have been silent for far too long because suddenly the necklace was slipping out of her hands, Cassandra now behind her, the cold metal sliding over her skin and she looked down to see it hanging around her neck.

“Iron Bull told me of a Qunari tradition between lovers.  They split a dragon’s tooth in half and each takes one.  I… almost did that, Maker knows I could have taken a tooth off one at any time but… I could not see you wearing such a thing…”

Leliana turned, amused by her lover’s nervous ramblings and pulled the warrior’s face down, holding her close as she gently kissed the plush curve of her lips before whispering, “I would wear anything you gave me Cassandra but this… this is truly beautiful… it is perfect.”

She paused, staring down at the gift in wonder, the time such a thing would have taken.  Suddenly she looked back at the seeker, brow furrowing in thought for a moment.

“This would have taken years Cassandra... “

The brunette nodded, “I was never sure exactly what I was saving them for.  The smith suggested it… he said making armor out of them had become to common and too easy… he has been shaping these for years…

Leliana smiled, “It is beautiful, you are beautiful and I…”

She traced the seeker’s features, thumb brushing across the scars that cut across her cheeks.  This was not goodbye - not yet.  It would take them two days to reach the capitol, another week to finalize her coronation and then… 

She caught the edge of night beginning to give way to morning and grimaced.  Leliana found herself casting aside what she had been about to say;  wrapping her arms around the other woman, pulling her closer until their limbs tangled and her head rested against Cassandra’s breast, listening to the steady rythmn of her heart.  She was afraid to speak, to give voice to the melancholy that continued to play at the edge of her mind.  Leliana felt calloused fingers brushing through her hair, down her spine and she shuddered, exhaling slowly before offering up a single thought.

“I do not know if I can do this without you.”

Cassandra frowned at the whispered words, her eyes flicking to the window, heart falling to see the lightness of the night sky.  She reached down, her finger tipping up the redhead’s face to search the churn of doubt in the spymaster’s overbright eyes.  

“You are not alone Leliana.  I know you.  You will rise to meet every challenge as you have always done.  You will confound the Grand Clerics with how well you can play their game.  I… cannot say I agree with all of your ideas but I believe that you are the right person, the only person who can rebuild the people’s faith and heal the mistrust that now plagues this world.”

She paused, bringing a pale hand to her lips, “It will be hard for me to leave you but…  I believe it is the right thing to do, for now.”

Cassandra kissed the back of Leliana’s hand, nuzzling her fingers open to kiss her palm before staring back at her.

“Once you take your vows I cannot touch you,”  She paused as soft lips parted and shook her head, forcing through the awkardness of trying to bend her words around the thoughts that had plagued her since they last parted.  She shook her head again, refusing to allow Leliana any attempt at changing her mind.  

“I know I can but I  **will** not and… I… I do not think I can stop this so easily now.  Finding the rest of my order, revealing the truths that were hidden from us and rebuilding will give me time to hide the fact that I…”

The seeker hesitated… she had not said the words outside of that first night together when she had foolishly spoke her feelings in the aftermath of a desire she had not known she could feel.  Frowning for a moment she cast aside her trepidation and gazed into the calm waters of Leliana’s eyes.

“I love you and I fear the world may see just how much if you keep me near…. I must go… if only to keep you safe.”

Leliana frowned at the conviction in the seeker’s tone, the words lifting her one moment before piercing her the next.  She could not deny the truth in them  _ (Cassandra had never been a good liar and in a place where such a skill was needed for survival, Leliana would not force her to play pretend) _ but even so… a part of her ached to refute them.  She did not want to watch the only person left alive in the world with whom she could drop all defenses, ride away from her to dangers unknown.  She did not want to wait weeks at a time for news of her; their words masked in code, never saying what either of them was truly thinking of feeling.  It seemed another cruel trick of fate, another poison laced gift from the Maker that she would be forced to accept.  She let the silence fall around them as she worked through her own thoughts on the subject, playing through different scenarios, weighing the pros and cons, letting the mutual silence stretch between them before meeting her lover’s steady gaze.  The former bard swallowed and exhaled slowly.

“And I you Cassandra.... You will stay for the coronation yes?”

Cassandra felt a smile tug at her lips, her mind taking her back through memories of the last two she had attended and how, in so many ways, this next would be different.  She gave a nod as she stood, pulling the rogue up with her before lacing their fingers together.

“I would not miss it.”

Leliana squeezed that hand that held hers and turned, letting go, lest Cassandra see more than she was ready or willing to say.  It was almost ironic that words should fail her in the same moment the seeker had found her own.  She reached for her discarded clothing in an attempt to draw away from the unwanted feelings, a light chuckle forcing its way past cold lips as she assuaged the damage the warrior had inflicted earlier.  She turned raising an eyebrow at the taller woman and held up her tunic, watching as a predictable flush stained and spread.  The spymaster smiled at the sight before tossing the garment on the floor with a dismissive flick of her wrist, shrugging lightly.

“It matters little.   Shall soon have to put aside my worldly goods.  I fear the Chantry would prefer me in robes rather than my customary cowl and armor…”

She felt the warmth of a hand pressing against her shoulder blade and turned to see a rare grin curving Cassandra’s lips.

“Whereas I would prefer you in nothing at all...”

Cassandra stumbled on the words, just as surprised as Leliana that they had escaped her.  She clamped her lips shut, brow furrowing.  It was this… this… feeling of complacency she feared would expose the true nature of what they were to one another now.  She moved away, tugging on her own tunic, bending to snatch her fallen cuirass from the floor pausing at the memory of it clanging in her ears, of nimble fingers jerking her forwards, of the taste of those warm lips on her own.  Cassandra closed her eyes, standing slowly, her breath leaving her in a rush of surprise as those same fingers cleverly slipped straps into buckles, fitting her armor to her piece by piece as ocean blue eyes stared intently into hers.  Daylight poured into the cottage slowly revealing all that night had hidden; messy sheets, a half eaten meal, the stubs of wickless candles and the endless sea of blooms that had been so carefully placed.  The seeker felt those eyes follow hers as she looked across the small homestead, pausing as warm fingers traced her jaw, drawing her back to that crystalline gaze.

“My agents will be here soon but before then… there is something I must say.”

Cassandra nodded, bracing herself for the heartbreak she was sure would happen.  She would not blame the rogue for pushing her away, for saving herself another breaking of her heart - not after so many had befallen her.  She straightened her shoulders, and studied the woman in front of her, wishing she had the words to better express what she felt, how deeply their brief time had touched her, just how beautiful she had always found her opposing hand.  She watched as those full lips parted and held her breath, pale fingers tracing her lips as that liltling voice filled the silence.

“I am glad we had this time together Cassandra, I cannot tell you what it has meant to me to have you here, to share this place with you.  I will hold on to these memories of us… they will be all that warms me in the cold nights ahead - they and the thought of when I might hold you close again in the future -”

Cassandra frowned, shaking her head, mouth opening to protest, silenced by a single finger pressing against her lips.

“I know you will argue this but, in this action, I will not be dissuaded - though I value your counsel enough to heed the wisdom of waiting…”

Leliana paused now framed her lover’s face, pulling her close for what might soon be the last time.  She closed her eyes as their lips touched, memorizing the texture, the feeling, the taste of the stubborn complicated woman she had worked with for so long.  She felt the seeker’s breath catch as her tongue traced her lips, flicking inside for a moment to slide teasingly, tasting before pulling back, hands trembling slightly as she stared into a familiar darkening gaze.

“I love you,” she whispered feeling the hands at her hips tighten, pulling her flush against cold armor.  The words escaped her lips once more before they were swallowed in a deep kiss that stole her breath, that made her want to slip free the straps of the armor she had just helped put on, the armor digging into her once more and run her hands along that intoxicating mixture of scarred and smooth skin, to feel that strength quivering beneath her.

A sharp knock at the door forced them apart and she smiled briefly at the alarm on Cassandra’s face.  She yanked her ruined tunic on over her head, pulling on her breeches in one swift movement as she reached the door, unsurprised to see the familiar face of Charter starting back at her from beneath a white hood.

“Sister Nightingale.  It is time.”

Leliana gave a brisk nod, reaching for her mail shirt and shrugging it over her head before accepting the faded cloak being offered to her by her most trusted agent.  She could feel Cassandra’s dark gaze on her, eyes following her every move and turned to see the seeker’s gaze avert swiftly, their earlier actions betrayed by the flush of her cheeks.  She motioned to Charter to wait outside and waited till the heavy wooden door had shut once more, surprised when Cassandra’s voice cut through the silence.

“Maker, your agents know as well?”

Leliana chuckled and shook her head, sliding her hand along the warrior’s shoulder, turning the taller woman to face her once more as her hand curled around the warmth of Cassandra’s neck, fingers playing with the short hair curling at the nape.  She watched as the her lover arched subconsciously into her touch and shook her head once more.

“No, Charter is the only one.  In fact it was she who made my surprise last night possible.”

Cassandra narrowed her gaze, casting a look around the small cottage once more, inwardly cursing the heat that flooded her face at the thought of, yet another, who knew the depth of hers and Leliana’s relationship, who had probably guessed at just what the two of them had been doing secluded for so many days.  She felt a slender arm snaking around her waist and focused her attention on former spymaster

“You trust her with this then?”

Leliana nodded and looked back to the door where she knew Charter silently waited.  She turned back, a smile tugging at her lips with the fondness she felt for the agent in question.  “She has been with me from the beginning, since before I accepted Justinia’s summons to become her left hand.”

“You are friends then.”

Leliana thought for a moment and shook her head as she pulled away and slowly finished gathering her things.  “No, I would not call the relationship we have a friendship… we are not close and yet she knows my mind better than anyone.  Her brother Sketch traveled with me when I was a thrall of Marjoliane, he sent her to me when he fled to Tevinter, asking only that I look after her as I had him.  She was never meant to be an agent of mine but she watched me and she learned and in the end I could not deny her skills.  Indeed, if I am to have a Left Hand of my own I can think of no better candidate, except perhaps Lace Harding.”

Cassandra listened, intrigued by the revelation.  She recognized the name of the redhead’s former companion from the long tale she had told that night spent in secluded grove.  It warmed a part of her still that this secretive woman had trusted her enough to lower the high walls she had built around herself, to let her in and tell her such things.  It struck her, as she watched the bard, that she too should finish gathering what little personal effects she had brought.  She had just finished securing her pack when she heard the creak of a door opening and she turned to see a Leliana accept a letter from the agent waiting outside.  Cassandra smiled faintly at so familiar a sight before turning her attention back to the tangle of sheets, a sense of modesty compelling her to try and remake the bed lest any other agents arrive unexpectedly.  She stopped as pale fingers wrapped around her wrist.

“Leave it my love.  Charter will attend to the cottage once we leave.  There is something I want to show you before we depart.”

The seeker turned, eyes catching sight of crisp parchment and neatly scripted lettering.  She accepted the page, brow furrowing at the halting cadence of the writing.  Lifting her head she flashed the former bard a puzzled look before handing it back to her, surprised when pink lips quirked upwards and pushed the letter back at her.

“This is a variation on a code that I have used since becoming a bard.  I have changed it so that none can read it but you and I… a code to be used in correspondence whilst you are away.  Though we are not yet parted, I wanted to give you this while our privacy is assured.  Not even Charter will know the cipher.  I wanted…. something that would allow us to still share our thoughts without fear of them being seen.”

Leliana paused at the brief look of uncertainty that passed over her love’s face and smiled, “I know you say words are not your forte and I am not expecting much more than an update on your journeys but… this will allow you to say more if you desire and it will allow me to do the same in return.”

Cassandra nodded, unfolding the parchment to look at it once more.  Code work was not anything she had ever tried; indeed she had always found the practice risky and a deception not necessary to her profession.  Still, being able to write Leliana freely was worth learning such a thing and so she read over the words again before lifting her eyes to the patient blue ones that looked so warmly back at her.

“Show me.”

 

* * *

 

Leliana adjusted her posture on the saddle, hiding her smile at the soreness of her thighs and wondering if Cassandra was feeling the same.  She resisted the urge to look back for the seeker, sure that such a thing was unwise considering the speed with which they were traveling.  The code has been last minute and she was surprised to how well her lover had picked up on the simple yet complicated cipher she had constructed.  The further delay had been worth it, even though they would be pushing themselves and their mounts to regain the lost time.  Leliana repressed a shudder at the remembered ferocity of Cassandra’s last embrace in the cottage and the sweet softness of her kiss and refocused her attention on the task at hand.  It was hard to tell but she was sure they had gained back the time they had lost and with the sun setting lower and lower in the sky, it would soon be time to break for camp. 

 

* * *

 

With a practiced eye she surveyed the land, the scattered tents and roaring fires.  It was strange, like reliving a distant memory and yet… the land had changed so much since the horror of the Fifth Blight.  Despite that she turned expecting to see the calm motherly smile on Wynne’s face, ears searching for the familiar bickering between Alistair and Morrigan.  She paused, heart pounding as an armored scout turned to flash her a smile with Elissa’s face.  Leliana blinked and looked closely, a mixture of relief and sadness flooding her as the features shifted away from the Hero’s and she turned, fleeing the haunting scene for the confines of her tent.

Maker.       

The former bard ducked into her tent and swept the cowl down from her and closed her eyes, forcing herself back into the present, brow furrowing as she heard the crunch of footsteps coming closer; heart fluttering like a silly girl at the sound of Cassandra’s commanding voice as she told the guard to step aside.  Leliana watched as the flap opened and the tall warrior stooped down to enter, drawing herself back to her full height once the canvas had closed.  She was back in her seeker armor, short hair still dripping from either water or sweat, the rogue was unsure.  Dark eyes searched hers for a moment, the tension between them thickening in the air and Leliana broke it before they could do something foolish.

“The camp is secure yes?”

Cassandra shook herself from the thoughts that had been layering in her mind, grateful for the coolness in the redhead’s voice and nodded once, all business.  “Yes Most Holy, I have secured the perimeter myself and set up watches, though I need not have - your agents are well trained.”

Leliana hid her smile at that statement, hearing the seeker’s slight disappointment in the words; Cassandra did not do well where she could not be of use.  Again her thoughts drifted to places they shouldn’t and she wondered if this would be how it was between them from now on; both left wanting and unsure.  It would be too easy to command the guard to stay, to lure the tall warrior out into the woods, to give them both a reprieve from this tension, to take another moment, make another memory to sustain them and…  Leliana sighed, no, it was too risky and while she’s had Chater personally vet each agent assigned to this mission, who better than herself to know that spies were everywhere and almost anyone could be turned.  She caught the questioning look in Cassandra’s eyes and nodded to the meal that the guard had set out before her.

“Will you dine with me?”

Cassandra looked at the simple spread of food and then back into those sharp blue eyes.  Maker take it, she wasn’t prepared for this, she wasn’t ready to obscure her feelings under the guise of companionship not when her pulse still pounded in her throat and not when she could still acutely feel what it was like to have that slender form pressing against her.  She felt her hands twitch as she looked away, surprised when Leliana’s voice softly offered her a way out.

“This is hard for me too.  I would understand if you declined.”

The seeker turned back and shook her head.  “No.  I will not run from this.  We will have to get used to the way this must be.”

Leliana nodded and sat down, forcing herself to eat even though she had not the appetite for it, her eyes following the warrior’s every move as Cassandra too picked at her food.  She found herself lingering on the way long column of the other woman’s neck moved when she swallowed and the way her lips closed around each forced bite.  Their eyes met once more and she felt her body flush warm at the husky timbre of the seeker’s voice.

“I should go help… watch...”

She watched as Cassandra stood, turning to leave and all at once she did not want to be left alone.  She half rose, reaching for that calloused hand, those graceful fingers tangling with her own.

“Please don’t leave…”

She barely recognized her own voice in the words and saw the worry cross Cassandra’s features as the warrior turned back towards her, fingers squeezing at hers and she gasped slightly at the well of emotion in those darkened amber eyes; concern, fear, need and desire flashing in shifting colors mirroring her own.  Leliana felt herself pulled up and forward, eyes closing as the seeker’s arms wrapped around her, her own arms doing the same.  She felt the catch in Cassandra’s breath, felt her own heart beating rapidly in her chest as the arms around her tightened.  Leliana rested against that broad shoulder, knowing that if she raised her head, that if she faced the seeker now they would both lose their tenuous grip on self-control.

Cassandra closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe, ignoring the spreading ache in her chest that wanted her to do more.  The smell of Andraste’s Grace rose and she sighed deeply, inhaling the scent that seemed to permeate the silken red locks now tangled in her fingers.  This was foolish, at any moment they could be interrupted by any number of persons looking for the one or both of them.  Even knowing that, she felt her arms tighten with the refusal to let go.  The entire world knew they had worked together for over a decade, it was not a far reach to think they might be friends of a sort and friends were allowed to offer comfort.  No.  If they were seen this could be explained away, but only this, no matter how badly she wanted to give more.

Leliana relaxed into the embrace.  She wanted to ask her to stay, to hold her till morning but that would require more control than she knew she had so she swallowed back the words and let herself take as much of this as Cassandra was willing to give her.  She did not know how much time passed only that it was the first time since they had left that she felt whole.  Would this be how it felt from now on then, like a waking dream, like she was only half herself?  She tried to draw solace from the Maker but the calmness that usually accompanied such a task felt evasive tonight.

Voices outside the tent, a tentative question in the form of her title forced them apart and Leliana grit her teeth as she bade the voice to come in.  She watched as two sisters ducked beneath the opening flap, both bowing to her as the elder of the two asked if they might attend her this evening.  She had forgotten this was a part of the new life she would be embracing, the constant attendance, being bathed and dressed and prepared.  Leliana held back her sigh of frustration and looked to Cassandra.

“I suppose that concludes our meeting Lady Seeker.  We can continue our discussion once we arrive in Val Royeaux.  

Cassandra crossed an arm over her chest and bowed respectfully aware of the sister’s eyes on her. “Yes.  We will continue this then.”  She turned and ducked beneath the tent’s opening and walked through the camp as quickly as she could to her own tent, pausing at the hidden opening.  To try and find sleep tonight would be foolish, not when every free thought traveled back to woman she had just walked away from.  Every part of her wanted to retrace her steps, send out the meddling Chantry attendants and take away the sad loneliness and regret that had lingered in the depths of Leliana’s eyes.  To do so right now as impossible and after tonight it would maybe be a sin and all of a sudden all she wanted to do was swing her sword and burn through the helpless frustrated tension seizing her all at once.  She turned and stalked to the outer edge of the camp’s perimeter, her eyes fixating on a tree that looked as though it could stand the strength of her strikes and proceeded to drive the edge of her sword against that unyielding mass again and again and again until she could feel no more.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments and for putting up with this INSANELY long chapter! 
> 
> The "French" in the text - Ferme tes yeux mon cherchant - means (or is supposed to mean... I am at the mercy of google translate and we all know how accurate that is) "Close your eyes my seeker" If anyone knows the correct way of typing that out I would LOVE to change it but until then...
> 
> I wrote our Spymaster a little softer than before so hopefully Leliana is not too out of character - I figured it was appropriate since it will be the last time they are intimate for awhile. I also took some liberty with Charter's back story to tie the two together. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	13. Val Royeaux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And... let the angst begin...

Forest gave way to small villages and then to larger towns and soon the skyline of Val Royeaux rose above the canopy, shining bright in its glory.  Leliana nodded as one of the many Templars now escorting them rode up to inform her that they would be within the city’s walls before nightfall.  Her head ached from the long ride, her mouth was sore from smiling at the people who had lined the edges of the road to wave their greetings to the next Divine.  It had been rather more than she had expected to deal with so soon and it had not helped that Cassandra had kept herself scarce.  Even so, blue eyes scanned the crowd looking for the familiar sight of the Seeker’s emblem.

 

* * *

 

“Most Holy!  You are a sight for sore eyes; the clerics have been very concerned by your absence and it has been exhausting preparing everything but I think your coronation will be a shining success.  You look rested… your vigil was successful then yes?”

Leliana shot Josephine a warning look before returning the other woman’s smile, conscious that they were far from alone.

“It was all that I had hoped it would be and more but, I have put this off long enough no?  I am sure the Grand Clerics have been wondering if I had truly accepted the College’s gracious nomination.”

Josephine giggled, “Well there **have** been reports that they were regretting not nominating the former Right Hand but as they could not find her readily they were resigned to wait for you.”

Leliana grimaced internally.  It was a pretty speech but she could read between the lines of what Josephine was saying and it irked her.  She wished she could say she was surprised by the fickle nature displayed by the higher echelons of the Chantry, but having played the game for as long as she had, such machinations were, sadly, expected.  She allowed herself to be led down familiar halls, pausing as the forced retinue stopped outside what had been Justinia’s quarters and for a moment Leliana was thrust back into time.  She half expected to hear that familiar warm voice calling her in but the doors swung open to nothing more than an empty room.

“I did not want to take the liberty of decorating such a space but I know how close you and Divine Justinian were.  I hope you do not mind that I had the room emptied. Say the word and I shall have everything moved back at once.”

“No Josie.  This is preferred.  Thank you.”

Leliana reached over and squeezed the Antivan’s hand, a silent reassurance that all, was indeed fine, before walking to one of the large windows that overlooked the courtyard below.  Her eyes caught sight of the very symbol she had been looking for, for most of the day and she waved a hand, gracefully dismissing the group of sisters that stood awaiting her command.

She heard the murmurs of assent and listened to the soft sound of footsteps leaving the room and the click of a closed door.  She could still feel the prickle of another's presence and a glance out of the corner of her eye confirmed that Josie had remained.  Without taking her eyes from Cassandra, Leliana addressed at least one of the questions that was burning in her friend’s mind.

“Thank you for making all the arrangements and for handling things here for me while I was away.  I am in your debt my friend.  How can I repay you?”

Josephine studied the way those normally icy eyes softened at whatever or, whomever, had caught the former bard’s eye.  She stepped toward the window, her eyes confirming her suspicions and she glanced back at her dear friend, eyes narrowing as she caught sight of an unfamiliar gleam that had escaped the shadow of Leliana's cowl.

“It was my pleasure to assist you my friend **and** making arrangements and dealing with stubborn adversaries  **is** somewhat a talent of mine.”

She caught the slight twitch of the other’s lips and took a step closer, eyes fixated on the delicate chain that could be seen much better up close.

“May I see?”

Leliana turned back to the ambassador as a Templar drew Cassandra from her sight and smirked as she noticed where Josephine's eye’s lay.  She reached up and used her index finger to gently pull the necklace free, a part of her delighting in the other woman’s girlish gasp.

“Leliana!  It is beautiful.  The workmanship… exquisite.  I've never seen such a thing!  Where did you…”

Josephine’s voice trailed off as she glanced down at where the seeker had been and gasped again as she turned back to her friend, mouth slackened with astonishment as the redhead nodded in affirmation, lips slowly curling into a smile.

The Antivan brought her hands to her lips, pressing her fingertips against them, swooning slightly at the thought of a hardened warrior like Cassandra doing something so romantic.  It was like something out of a book and in her secret heart she wished the Inquisitor would do something so lavish and forward.  With the seeker gone, the mage had seemed warm and open to her invitations to talk and walk around the keep and it was many an afternoon that she found herself wasting countless hours talking of everything and nothing with the handsome noble.  It had been her hidden desire to capture the man’s attention but his obvious infatuation with the brash seeker did not welcome one to risk the assured rejection of an unwanted advance.  And she adored Cassandra far too much to backhandedly flirt with a potential love interest.  The ambassador had found herself wildly ecstatic to know the other woman held no such interest AND that Leliana had found love again; it seemed the perfect ending until the Chantry had announced its choice.  Josephine felt her smile falter at the thought and distracted herself by asking to look at the delicate necklace closer.  She marveled as Leliana held it up to the light, eyes taking in the way the colored stone seemed to both reflect and absorb.  A closer look and the former bard questioned the choice of material.

“I have never seen stones like this before.  Is it Dwarven made?”

Leliana shook her head, feeling the warmth radiated out from her chest, instantly proud of the seeker’s skill.

“They are dragon scales, one for every dragon our seeker ( _she forced herself to say “our” instead of “my”)_ has slain.  It is part of why she was in Denerim when I found her.  There is a smith there who is skilled in working with such things, a smith I actually met during the Blight.”  ( _the last part she had not confirmed with the seeker but there was only one smith in Denerim capable of such craftsmanship and she almost chuckled as she remembered how the man’s obsession drove his business partner mad)_

Josephine gasped again, a hand falling over her heart as the other reached out to trace the edge of one of the scales and the along the miniature sword of Andraste that hung down the middle.  In a way the gift, was a compendium for the former bard; beautiful, but hard, faithful but deadly.  It precisely summed up the Spymaster’s most formidable traits, making Josephine wonder at the amount of thought that seemed poured behind the gift.  She watched as Leliana reached back to re-clasp the necklace, spotting a faint love bite.

“Ah!  I see our seeker had many gifts to give”

Cheeks warming slightly, Leliana touched the mark, a faint smile tugging at her lips and she winked at her friend.

“Oh there were… many indeed.”

She watched as the younger woman tittered, and grinned, chuckling in return.  The light mood was dashed by a sharp knock at the door, the brusque voice of the Templar guarding it questioning whomever wished an audience.  Leliana sighed and looked back at the ambassador, “Duty calls.”

Instantly she tucked aside their camaraderie, trading it for a tone of reverent respect and bowing as the door opened to reveal the stern sight of Grand Cleric Iona gracefully entering.  Josephine caught the tightening of Leliana's lips at the seemingly innocent breach of etiquette followed by the high pitched nasal voice that pierced the peaceful atmosphere.

“Oh!  I heard you had finally arrived and I rushed over to see if it were true, and look, for once the rumors are true.”

Calculating light blue eyes scrutinized the woman who had once been the ruthless shadow of the very throne she was chosen to take.  It had been a slap in the face of her great faith when the college had announced their choice for Divine.  Not that Iona had felt she, herself, was the most deserving but the other woman's reputation alone was enough to sully the position.  The Grand Cleric, looked around the empty room and raised a delicately arched eyebrow and cleared her throat.

“I see you've chosen to… redecorate… though surely even our most humble Divines did not live so...ecclesiastically.  Surely you should have, at least a bed or even a desk?”

Leliana forced a genial smile on her lips and spoke in chilling tone, “ I trust you have a more compelling reason to have interrupted a very important meeting between myself and Ambassador Montilyet than rumors, yes?”

Josephine watched as the older woman’s gaze sharpened, focusing on her as bright red lips thinned in distaste.

“Oh yes, the Ambassador.  I do believe her and I became well acquainted in these past weeks prior to your arrival.”

The Antivan nobel nodded amicably but kept silent as she looked for an opening to make her exit.  She’d had more than enough of this particular Grand Cleric’s sighs and huffs of annoyance when the ambassador effortlessly dismissed her every inquiry into the disappearance of both the former Left and Right hands of the Divine.  She turned to Leliana and bowed again.

“Let us agree to postpone our meeting for now.  I have another appointment I must keep.”

Leliana nodded and waited for the door to shut behind the younger woman before turning her gaze to the austere figure, “Well?”

The Grand Cleric nodded, “The rumors circling the city have kept me in a state of absolute unease.  They say you will abandon our Lady’s traditions. That you will open her doors to the inferior classes, the non-humans who walk among us and that you will allow mages to live outside the Chantry’s control…”

Leliana schooled her features into the picture of irritated weariness, though inside her heart pounded.  It was like reading her thoughts back to her and far too specific to have just been guessed.  She arched an eyebrow as her mind worked through the short list of people she had spoken of her desire for change to, pausing in thought as the older woman's voice tapered off.

“And?  Is that all or are there any other rumors you wish me to address?”

The grey haired woman nodded, bowing her head to hide the quiver of her lips.  She straightened her face, employing a note of embarrassed reluctance as she looked up.

“There is one yes and it pains me to bring it up in your presence but I have prayed to the Maker for guidance, a balm to soothe the worries such talk inflicts upon me.  They say you… you and the former Right Hand are…. lovers and that you plan to…continue your relationship even after you take your vows and that your vigil was simply a-”

“Silence.”

Iona felt her face pale at the sharpness in that tone, a chilly reminder that the other woman in the room was also still the Nightingale.  She swallowed, eyes caught in a stormy blue gaze, taken back by the honeyed tone used now to address her.

“Such rumors are to be expected no?  After all, what Divine’s ascension was devoid of the ill-will of others?  Even Andraste herself was doubted.  I can assure you these rumors have no base in reality my dear Iona, now… was there anything else?”

The former bard caught the surprise on the Grand Cleric’s face as she stepped forward and took the other woman’s arm, leading her to the door.  It was not the most subtle of hints and Leliana was relieved when the Orlesian took her leave.  As soon as the door shut, the redhead’s eyes closed and she bowed her head, muttering softly, “And let the games begin.”

 

* * *

 

Cassandra slowly slid the breastplate from her chest, and positioned it carefully on the armor stand, eyeing the all seeing eye that represented her order.  The sight had once filled her with pride, with purpose but now…. It filled her with a sense unease as doubts about her chosen course of action began to, once again, plague her thoughts.

_Was the order truly worthy of being rebuilt?  Could it be trusted to not corrupt from within?  Did any besides her survive Lucius’ betrayal?  Was she even worthy to try and lead it…_

It was that last thought that continued to eat away at her resolve.  How could she lead the order under the guise of no secrets when she now had one herself?  Leliana’s face swam behind her eyes and Cassandra exhaled slowly as she sank to her knees, whispering the sermon Andraste had given at the Valerian Fields, praying for the calming effect such words usually had on her.  A knock at her door banished what little peace she had found in those words and the warrior found herself standing, a low growl humming from her throat as she opened it.  Her irritation vanished as she instantly recognized the elven woman from the cottage, and looked down in surprise at the tray of food and wrapped bundle of papers, an eyebrow rising.

“Sister Nightingale bade me to bring you these this.  She also asked if you might agree to meet her for evening meal.”

Cassandra took the thick bundle of papers, leaving the food on the tray and studied the top letter, tracing her thumb around the bird within the red wax seal.  It took her a moment to realize the other woman was still standing there and she fixed the agent with a hard stare.

“That will be all.”

It was a voice that had always served her well on the battlefield but the dismissal was ignored by the slender hooded woman who lifted the tray slightly, offering it to her again, face wiped free of expression.

“You should take the food too.  Sister Nightingale said you hadn’t eaten since morning.  Shall I let her know you will meet her tonight?”

Cassandra exhaled sharply, huffing as she took the tray from the smaller woman, resisting the urge to throw it back into the hall.  The tightening in her stomach was a reminder that she had not eaten since breaking her fast; the hard ride and hour spent in the training yard had only distracted her from the fact.  Despite the gnawing hunger she felt no desire to eat, her earlier thoughts having stole what little appetite she could muster.  Her eyes fell back on the elf, who still had not left and sighed.

“Yes, you can let Leliana know that I will meet with her later.”

She caught the brief quirk of the other woman’s lips before the hooded head bowed and in a blink the agent was gone.  Cassandra looked down the hall, eyes narrowed before shutting the door again.  She sat the tray down by the door, as far away as the small room would allow and sat down cross legged on the small pallet of bedding she had left in the room.  Calloused fingers picked at the bundle’s tie, loosening the knot before breaking the seal of the top letter.  It was obviously encoded and Cassandra huffed her annoyance.  Her eyes scanned the letter, finding the cipher hidden in the text, slowly translating the innocuously innocent looking gibberish into it’s actual message:

 

_Forgive me.  I wanted to test how well you had picked up on this.  I do not know if you will have translated this note before or after you looked through what else I sent but knowing you, as well as I do, I will guess it is the former.  When you left Skyhold I sent inquiries to various agents and these are their replies._

_I hope to see you tonight, I missed you today._

_L_

 

Cassandra read through the translation twice and turned her attention to the rest of the parchment, ignoring the way those last four words wormed and warmed their way past her armor.  

_I missed you today._

It was both a concession and a gentle accusation and it was little wonder that Leliana had known she was avoiding her.  Setting such thoughts aside the seeker began to sift through the correspondence between the spymaster and her agents.  There were reports from every corner of Thedas.  Cassandra’s brow furrowed as she thumbed through the parchment.  She knew Leliana’s network was vast but she’d had no idea it had this kind of reach.  According to the rogue’s sources there were still five Seekers who had either refused Lucius’ summons or who simply had not been reached before the Inquisition had put the man down.  She recognized only one of the names, but if the information was accurate she could easily track the other’s down.  

Cassandra rose up on her knees and reached for one of the many maps she’d kept hidden in her rooms, opening it she began to plot a course, excitement replacing the heavy sense of duty that had been weighing her down before and she soon lost herself in the planning of it all.     

 

* * *

 

Leliana paced slowly, pausing at the window to stare up at the full moon rising.  She looked back towards the door and then at the simple meal she’d had brought to her quarters, frowning.  A sudden knock at the door stole her breath and she smoothed down the simple shift she wore.  She felt like a young girl again and just as foolish when the door opened to reveal Charter.  

“My apologies Sister Nightingale.  I -”

“Find her.”

Leliana watched as the other woman snapped to attention and slipped away from view, shutting the door behind her.  She massaged her temples slowly.  To say the day had been trying would have been putting it mildly.  After her encounter with Grand Cleric Iona, the rest had descended on her, plying her with requests for petty favors, false congratulations and her opinion on the most trivial matters.  The entire ordeal had left her with a pounding headache that neither food nor wine seemed to help.  Despite it all, she had been looking forward to the evening and had cleared her schedule to accommodate a private dinner with the woman she would name her Right Hand in the morning; the woman she loved and who, by some miracle, loved her in return.  Leliana felt the knowledge swell within her.  For so long she had fought that attraction, knowing deep down that the seeker would never be open to such a thing.  Maker preserve her but it still felt unreal.  Even now with the warrior’s token of affection clasped around her neck (the same neck that still bore the marks of the other woman’s attention just days before.  Seeking to distract herself from such thoughts the spymaster took another look over the meal she’d had brought to her rooms and the place settings for two.  She could not remember the two of them ever sitting down to enjoy a meal that was served outside the confines of duty (the one she’d had Charter arrange at the cottage had, for the most part, been ignored in favor of other activities) and she had seized upon the chance to make another secret memory on her last night as just Leliana.  The redhead laughed dryly outloud to herself, she knew doing such things would only feed the rumors that, according to Iona, were circulating the capital.  She knew such things were common and that it was her reputation and not Cassandra’s the drove it.  

Justinia had once told her the same had happened to her when she had been nominated.  The capital had a long and unforgiving memory when it came to past transgressions, but such rumors did nothing more than titillate the masses; they did not sway or undermine the College’s ruling.  Another knock at the door pulled Leliana from her thoughts and she turned her head to see a familiar figure standing at the entrance.  There was a look on the warrior’s face the rogue could not ever remember seeing and she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong.  The words died in her throat as Cassandra lifted a bundle of paper, a brow rising in question.

“You did this?”

Leliana instantly recognized the letters she had sent with Charter, her brown knitting in confusion as the taller woman sat the bundle down on the table.  She nodded, “I thought you would be pleased..”

Cassandra savored the rare look of uncertainty in the other woman’s face before giving her a slow smile, her footsteps unconsciously taking her closer.  She paused as those blue eyes met hers and reached for a pale hand, pulling it to her lips to offer a chaste kiss against the back of it, feeling ridiculously like one of the knights in her favorite books.

“Thank you.”

Leliana felt the heat from the contact race down her spine and fought the urge to tell the warrior there were much better ways to thank her.  Instead she leaned up and brushed her lips along the scar that decorated the seeker’s cheek, her voice barely a whisper - “You’re welcome my love.”  She pulled back in time to watch as hazel eyes darkened, unsurprised when the seeker took a step back, eyes shifting to look at the table as a faint growl below dispelled the growing tension.  Leliana laughed lightly and tugged at the other woman’s hand.

“I knew you wouldn’t eat what Charter brought you.  Come, share this meal with me and allow me regale you with the boorish pettiness of my day.”

Cassandra let herself be led, grateful for the simple fare and the table that kept them apart.  She had not expected to be so affected by the sight of the redhead, but seeing her framed in moonlight had awakened the memory of that first night spent together.  It did not escape her notice that there were no servants here, that the guards had been stationed far from the door, and that the rogue was without her customary armor and cowl.  She dug into the food and tried to ignore the way the melodic voice tugged and tore at her resolve to do no more than listen.  

Leliana watched as the seeker ate, a smile tugging at her lips at the aggressive way the other woman handled the food.  She had to be starving by now, especially if she had only eaten in the morning.  In contrast, the spymaster picked at her meal, taking small bites and recounting the various visits from the day, leaving aside only Iona and her rumor mongering.  She would not have the worries of that petty Cleric spoil what would be their last night alone before duty pulled them further apart than they had ever been.  She had no idea if she would be able to convince Cassandra to see it that way but it was worth trying and even if all they did tonight was talk, the time spent alone was a calming balm to her own nervousness about what tomorrow would bring.  She had already written the speech she would give, had already met with Josephine to finalize the ceremony, now all the was left was this night and the forbidden secret lover she wanted to share it with.  An idea sprang forth in her head and she stood, offering her hand to the seeker, smiling warmly at the look of confusion that crossed over the other woman’s face.  

“Dance with me.”

Cassandra swallowed slowly, her brow furrowing as she looked from the hand to the woman who had offered it.  She shook her head slightly, “I was not expecting… you know I do not dance Leliana, besides there is no music here.  What would we dance to?”

The rogue smirked and withdrew her hand, shrugging nonchalantly, “I was a bard for many years Cassandra, I think I can provide whatever music you desire and do not say you don’t dance, I saw you dance with the Inquisitor and thought you did rather well.  I will admit that it made me feel an emotion I’ve not felt for over a decade but if you aren’t interested...”     

Cassandra rolled her eyes.  She knew that dance would come back to haunt her at some point or another and she couldn’t say the chance to hold the former bard close did not appeal to her even if it was under the guise of dancing and, Maker take it, there were worse things they could be doing.  She wiped her mouth and stood, extending her hand to the smirking woman.

“Fine.  One dance and I will **not** apologize if I step on your toes.”

Leliana laughed lightly and took the warrior’s calloused hand, ignoring the goosebumps that raced up and down her skin at that warm touch and the way those dark eyes followed her..  She stood almost chest to chest and looked up, a smile playing at her lips.

“So now that I have convinced you to dance… which of us will lead hmm?”

Cassandra glared down at the woman in mock annoyance, her body hyper aware of just how close they were standing and of just how well the moonlight accentuated those pale features.  She braced herself internally, irritated by how love struck she sounded even in her own thoughts, and tightened her grip on the rogue’s hand.

“I am taller, I will lead.”

Leliana’s musical laugh seemed to brighten the room and Cassandra raised an eyebrow at the other woman who nodded and the warrior shuddered as those nimble fingers danced up her arm to rest on her shoulder.

“Not by much but... very well.”

The seeker stiffened slightly at the difference in that lilting tone, the slight breathiness distracting her for a moment before the sound of humming registered.  She listened as Leliana’s voice softly hummed one of the more common tunes.  The steps to the dance came to her easily enough and Cassandra began to move slowly, her hand resting on the shapely flare of the rogue’s hip maintaining a respectful distance.  It brought back memories of her Uncle and all the poor woman he had hired to try and make her a lady; women she had taken no small pleasure in infuriating with her stubborn refusal to obey.  It had been Anthony that had taught her to dance to this very song, saying that all the best dancers were fighters too.  The feeling of fingers playing at the base of her neck brought her back to the present.

“Where did you go just now?”

The seeker gazed down at the curious look on the former bard’s face and shrugged lightly.  “I go where most people go, to past memories.”  She paused, frowning slightly as the next words slipped from her easily.  “Dancing here, with you, reminded me of Anthony.”

Leliana felt a tender smile curve her lips for a moment as she looked into the seeker’s sculpted features and moved closer, feeling those arms draw her nearer still and she rested her head against the other woman’s shoulder.

“Tell me about him.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to dismiss the request as she usually did when someone made such inquiries; the memories of her brother had always been a source of both happiness and pain, but she found herself telling the former bard about the brother she had idolized and loved; of being taught swordplay, of playing chase through the catacombs, of the boy he had been and the man he had grown to be before his life was stolen away.  

Leliana listened as that rough accent rumbled above her, warm breath caressing her cheek and ear as she swayed with the music still playing in the recesses of her mind.  Cassandra had never spoken of her childhood in all the long years they had known each other nor of her time with the seeker’s and Leliana drank the knowledge in deeply, not daring to interrupt with any of the hundreds of questions that filled her mind.  She felt as though she was being gifted with something rare, a piece of Cassandra that no one else had.  She raised her head when that low voice tapered off and found herself caught in the other woman’s gaze.  She could feel the seeker’s shallow breathing, suddenly aware of just how closely they were pressed together and how easily it would be to close the distance and...

Cassandra exhaled slowly and took a step back, running a hand through her hair as she looked away, determined to focus on anything else in the room other than Leliana and settled on the moon that had risen high in the sky.  

“It is late and tomorrow will be endless.  You should rest, I should go.”

Leliana shook her head, her hand reaching for the other woman’s, red brows furrowing,  “No.  Stay.”

The warrior closed her eyes; conscious once more of being torn between duty and desire.  She wanted to stay, wanted to bask in the peace being with Leliana brought her but… the risk was too great.  Already her blood raced hot and fast beneath her skin, every innocent touch pulled with it memories of those that were not so innocent.  She felt those hands on her now, cupping her face, a soft voice asking her what was wrong.  She did not dare open her eyes, knowing instinctively that if she did her control would snap and she would do the very thing she had told herself she wouldn’t.  The feeling of soft lips caressing her cheek made her gasp, hands clenching at her sides, fingers digging into her leggings to stop them from reaching.

Leliana could feel the pulse hammering beneath the seeker’s skin as she moved her lips along the edge of the other woman’s jaw, tongue flicking out to taste that familiar scent, her own eyes closing as a low growl rumbled under her tongue.  She resisted the urge to suck at the spot, choosing instead to nuzzle her nose down the column of her beloved’s neck, hands aching to do so much more but she did not want to seduce her way into this.  If they were to have this night, Cassandra had to meet her halfway.   

_Sweet Maker this was torture!_  Cassandra thought as Leliana kissed a controlled line back up her neck, that lilting voice dripping with seduction and all but panting against her ear that she was wanted, that it was safe, that she had taken every precaution and a bed big enough for four was but a room away.  All at once she imagined laying the other woman on it, red hair fanned out against the sheets, hands moving up and over silky skin, tasting the wet heat that she could not seem to get enough of.  Her body jerked, eyes flying open seeing the same desire mirrored clearly in shining blue.  She opened her mouth to speak, surprised when a bow calloused finger pressed against her parted lips.

“Nothing will happen that you do not want to happen.”

Her throat was dry and her voice rasped slightly as she responded, “That is not entirely reassuring,” watching as a slow, almost predatory, smile curved Leliana’s lips as she drew closer.  A knock at the door halting all movement.

“Most Holy, the Inquisitor requests an audience.”

Leliana glared at the doorway, stepping away to watch as it opened, revealing the familiar face of male mage whose green eyes widened with visible delight upon seeing the seeker standing at her side.

“Cassandra!  I had no idea you were here also.  Excellent.  I can deliver my news to you both at the same time.”

Leliana raised a brow, “I am eager to hear what could not wait until morning.”

Cassandra hid her smile at the deceptively polite voice but secretly thanked the Maker for this timely intervention.  Had Trevelyan not have shown up when he did, she would no doubt have given into Leliana’s suggestion  Even now she struggled to focus on what the mage was saying, her eyes drifting to find the other woman’s but the word “qunari” drew her attention back to the Inquisitor and she listened to his report in silent horror.

“Somehow the Qunari are using the Eluvian network to mount an invasion.  We have been tracking them through the network portals provided by Briala and Morrigan but they seem to always be one step ahead of us.  There are traps and mazes littering the paths they are taking and the spirits from the well keep whispering of dead forgotten gods.  All the clues left behind have led us here of all places.  I feared the worst and yet here you both are, untouched and no worse for wear.”

The mage paused and then stood up hastily, head bowing to the redhead to his right.  “Forgive my manners Most Holy, I did not mean for our past familiarity to disrespect the position you now hold -”

Leliana shook her head, keeping the look on her face neutral as she bade the young man to rise.  

“I am not Divine yet Inquisitor and even when I am, I hope you will still feel free enough to treat me as you have before.”

She saw the relief on the mage’s face before his eyes moved over to the woman at her side.

“Then may I steal Cassandra for a few moments?”

Leliana hid the flash of possessive anger, grateful, and not for the first time, for all her years of playing the Great Game.  She cast a look at the warrior and saw the wave of relief wash over those stern features and wanted to feel ashamed at her earlier attempt at seduction but Maker forgive her she could not, even though she knew Cassandra’s feelings on the matter.  A hand touched her arm and she turned, caught in that dark hazel gaze.

“I should see what he wants.  You should rest.  Morning will come before you know it.”

The other woman was right, of course but the rogue pushed the truth aside and nodded once, dropping her voice to an octave she was sure the mage could not hear.  “I will have every night after this one to rest.  I would rather spend it with you, as myself, before everything changes.”

Leliana turned and fixed the Inquisitor with a stern gaze.  “While I have you here, I would speak to you as well.”  She paused and turned to the young mage, “You were with Cassandra at Caer Oswin yes?  I am sure you know of her desire to rebuild the Seekers?”

The Free Marcher frowned slightly before nodding, “Yes.  I encouraged her to do so.  I know she will do all she can to right the past abuses encouraged by her predecessors.”

Leliana nodded in agreement before continuing.  “Then it should not surprise you that I will name Cassandra as my Right Hand tomorrow and in the same breath I will sanction this mission.  In her absence I would ask that you take her place; that the Inquisition serve as the Divine’s protection until Cassandra is able to resume her duties.”

She watched carefully as the young man looked back in shock, nodding once more.  “I told you long ago that there were many traditions the the Chantry could no longer afford to cling to yes; this is one of them.  I know what the Chant says about those who use magic but you are the Inquisitor, you have helped save this world and you should have a say in how it is rebuilt - much as the First Inquisitor should have done had he not sacrificed himself for the greater good.  Will I be able to count on you Trevelyan?”

The mage looked at the clear unease on Cassandra’s face, could feel the tension in the room grow by the second.  It was true.  Leliana had spoken of her desire for change to him on several occasions but was this the best way?  He frowned, folding his hands behind his back.

“Would such a move not paint an even bigger target on your back?  I am honored by the request but let’s face it, my skills do not hold a candle to Cassandra’s.  She can detect lyrium, she can stop a mage in his tracks and I’ve never seen another warrior best her.  I don’t think it's wise to-”

He stopped as the next Divine pierced him with a look that brokered no further argument.  He bowed once more and sighed, “Very well I would be honored but such honors may have to wait.”

He looked from Divine to Seeker and then back to Divine.  “I would not ask if the need was not great.  This mounting invasion… the traveling and fighting through the Eluvians… these Qunari are tough bastards… I could sorely use Cassandra’s help.  Iron Bull and Blackwall do what they can but the Saarebas, the mages, are destructively powerful.  The Qunari chain them, sew their mouths shut so that the only magic they are capable of is cast without a care for their lives.  With Solas missing, Vivienne and I do what we can but neither of us took well to the healing arts and Dorian is exhausted….”

He paused and looked imploringly at the seeker.  “I have resisted calling on you Cassandra.  I know you wish to rebuild the seekers and I did not want to make you deviate from that path yet again but when the trail led here..”

Cassandra held up a hand and that deep voice stilled, green eyes remained fixed on her, awaiting her reply.  Inside she snarled with frustration.  She was already loath to leave Leliana’s side, her only comfort in doing so was knowing that the Inquisitor would watch over in her stead and now… now he was asking her to leave the next Divine, the one she loved, unguarded, open and alone.  The seeker checked her anger at the mage.  He was not wrong to ask, if the Qunari were invading then she had no choice but to help put down such a threat.  She cast a look at Leliana, taking a small amount of comfort in the steadiness of that blue gaze before turning back to the Inquisitor.

“You have given me much to think about.  Leave us.  I will find you in the morning and you will have my answer then.”

The young man nodded and gave a small bow to the his former spymaster before exiting the room.  As the door shut he looked back, shaking off the feeling that he was missing something, that there was more being said then he understood.  The Herald sighed and ran a hand through his hair, the exhaustion he'd been concealing crept back over him and he moved down the halls to the generous rooms Josephine had given him, grateful for at least this once, the station his title afforded him.

 

* * *

 

Leliana watched as the door slowly closed before letting out the heavy sigh she had been holding in. She caught the look of concern on Cassandra's face and gave the other woman a wan smile.

“He is not wrong, the Qunari have always been a threat and if they are mounting an attack then the Chantry must have its’ eyes and ears on the pulse of this investigation.”

Cassandra shook her head fiercely.  “No. I will not leave you to face this pit of vipers alone.  I know what they are capable of, I saw it with Divine Beatrix and then with Justinia.  These creatures, who call themselves holy, scheme and they plot and they play games for favors that only buy them more power, more wealth-”

“The Qunari are the greater threat Cassandra.  I too know how these women play but I am no stranger to the game myself and my network of spies are vast - as you no doubt discovered from the letters I gave you.  My reputation alone will cause them to hesitate and that hesitation will be their downfall.”

She watched as Cassandra’s mouth parted to argue and placed a finger over those deceptively soft lips, her own voice dropping to a whisper.

“I did not think I would have to send you towards danger again so soon but I trust no one else to put an end to this threat. You must go with him after the ceremony.  I will give the speech I have written, the masses need not know where you go only that you go with our blessing.”

Dark brows furrowed and the warrior sighed before reaching up to catch at that hand.  “I know that what you say is correct but it still does not set well with me.  But if you insist I will go, but I promise I will come back to you once this threat had been put down.”

Leliana nodded and exhaled slowly as she leaned her forehead against the seeker's.  “That is all I ask.”  She let out a light laugh, “And here I was hoping to seduce you into spending this night with me… further proof that we plan and-”

“The Maker laughs.  Yes.”

Cassandra tipped the redhead’s face up to hers studying the shifts of emotion shrouded in blue.

“If I am to leave in the morning I must go make ready now.”

Leliana nodded and stood on her tip toes to brush a soft kiss against the seeker’s lips, surprised when she was tugged off balance in a fierce embrace, feeling the other woman's next words caress her ear.

“I am yours Leliana.  I will try to write you while I am away and send the letters as I am able and I **will** come back whether the Maker wills it or not.”

The last words left her breathless and Leliana gasped as warm lips covered her own, slanting into a decidedly less than chaste departing kiss and she let herself get lost in the familiar shape and taste of the seeker's mouth before the other woman pulled back.  She caught the look of tenderness ghost over the hard angles of that dear face before those lips pressed against her forehead, accented words whispering “goodnight” before she too took her leave.  

Leliana stood, looking at the door a long time before retreating to the hastily decorated bedroom, her eyes falling on the figure of Andraste the Warden had given her all those years ago.  Taking a shaky breath she kneeled, head bowed she prayed to the Maker and his Lady for the first time in a long time.

_Andraste watch over her and bring her back home again safe._

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra dancing... hmmm.... why not (after all our spymaster had to watch said seeker and her would be suitor tear up the dance floor) and of course .... Leliana is once again twat blocked once again by said would be suitor - Dude has impeccable timing I must say.


	14. Taking the Throne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana takes her place upon the Sunburst Throne but Cassandra is almost immediately called away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG - thank you all who have stuck with this story - I promise it isn't abandoned but this has been a rough summer and I refuse to write anything when I am not in the right frame of mind. Since life has calmed down and free time has become more abundant I can now get back to doing the things I want to do vs the things I must do. 
> 
> Apologies for the long wait - enjoy!

The sunlight blinded her even as another sleepless night burned behind her eyes.  The loud sounds of the city’s celebration making the war hammer drum all the louder in her head.  It had taken all her resolve to leave those rooms willingly and she had spent the rest of the night in prayer and contemplation, beseeching the Maker to clear her mind of the complex myriad of emotions before packing her things at sunrise.  Even now, standing in full armor before the whole of the Chantry, her thoughts ran to blasphemy, her mind mired in the sweet sin of memories made as she watched the woman she loved climb the steps to the cathedral.  Even under the massive headdress and shapeless robes, Leliana shone and Cassandra stood at attention as she drew near, feeling the brush of those robes against her hand as the newly minted Divine Victoria turned to face the welcoming crowd; that deceptively soft tone rising above the cheers of the people to address all who had attended.

“The chaos caused by Corypheus has been overturned, the tears in the Fade have been closed and  we, the faithful, have risen victorious once more.  The past years have been hard and things will not be easy yes?  We must all be prepared to sacrifice, to open our hearts to all just as Andraste did so many years ago.  I have sworn an oath to live by her example and I mean to just that.  As the Maker loved, so shall we do the same.”

Cassandra felt her lips tighten.  It was a pretty speech but she could read the hint of what was to come between the lines.  She caught the brief twitch of the Divine’s lips as that other woman gave her a subtle look before moving the ceremony along.

“Step forward Seeker.”

The warrior moved closer, a feeling of deja vu’ descending upon her as she kneeled at the Divine’s feet.  Two times before she had walked this stage, given this oath but as she removed her helm and looked up into those beloved features, the sensation left her.  This would be the last time she would ever do such a thing and a sense of shame filled her when she realized that, though she had meant every word she had said the previous two times it had been uttered, she knew she had never meant the words more than she did now.  

_ Honor.  Protect. Obey.  A shield against all who would stand against you.  A sword against the darkness.  My life for yours. _

The words of the vow trickled over her tongue, memory supplying the words as she lost herself in the warm gaze that looked down at her, waiting for the command to rise, her legs shaking as she did so and she watched as Leliana - no - Divine Victoria turned towards the crowd once more.

“I spoke of sacrifice when I began.  This war has taken something from everyone of us here… some have lost friends and loved ones, some have lost property and wealth, others their very faith.  Though peace has been achieved there is much to rebuild.  The former Lord Seeker betrayed our Chantry, betrayed his order and there are few - if any seekers left.  The seeker’s must be rebuilt and so I will suffer loss with you.  I, Divine Victoria, believe in the righteousness of this cause and I will sacrifice my Right Hand so that His will be done.  Following this ceremony, Seeker Pentaghast is hereby ordered to seek and find the remaining members of her order, she is to recruit and rebuild and she is to do so with our blessing.  Let none stand in her way, let our Lady watch over her and may she always walk in the light of the Maker in this arduous journey.”

Cassandra felt warm hands caressing her cheeks, eyes widening in surprise as her face was turned, those soft lips brushed over her scar, and even softer voice breathing words against her ear.

“As you are mine, so I am yours.  Never forget that.  Be safe and come back to me ma chere.” 

The warrior felt the tips of her ears redden and cursed what she was sure was some drunken fool whose whistle could be heard amidst the cheering crowd.  She saw the stunned looks on some of the Grand Cleric’s faces, others seemed blissfully obtuse before finding those familiar blue eyes, and seeing the raw emotion in the Divine’s face, she bowed once more, kissing the ring that adorned that slender pale hand before rising to jam her helm back over her head and forced herself march away.

She stiffened as a warm voice called to her and turned to see the Inquisitor on her heels, a teasing smile on his boyish face.

“Did all the Divine’s kiss you like that or was that just a Leliana thing?”

The seeker glared and sighed as she shook her head answering honestly, “I am not sure what that was but such things are common practice among Orlesians.”  She looked at the Inquisitor and raised an eyebrow at the grinning mage.  “Are you quite done - I believe we have work to do.”

The noble studied the menacing glare, tempted to continue with his tease but shrugged instead.  It would be a long enough journey without having to deal with an angry Seeker.  He pointed his staff in the direction of the hall, “I’ll just lead the way.  The other’s are waiting for us.”

Cassandra moved to follow the Free Marcher, head turning to look back as another roar of the crowd rose from far away.  She felt the tightness in her chest as she turned back and breathed a silent prayer in her mind.

_ Maker keep her safe. _

 

* * *

 

**2 months later**

 

Leliana fought another bored yawn as yet another trivial issue was brought forth.  Justinia had always complained that such things took up the majority her daily meetings but this was the first time the former bard had experienced such a thing first hand and inside she seethed.  Two months, TWO MONTHS since her coronation - two months since she’d had to force herself to watch Cassandra walk away and not ONE of the important issues now facing the Chantry had been addressed.

“Most Holy?”

Leliana looked to see one of the few familiar faces from when Justiana had sat in this chair smile at her and she nodded, acutely aware that she had been caught not paying attention.  Choosing to ignore the breach of etiquette, the redhead chose to dive head first into the issue that had torn the Chantry asunder to begin with.

“We can no longer afford to sit here, arguing the most petty of issues.  We  **must** discuss what to do now that the war between mage and templar has seen a ceasefire.  I think that we can all agree that mages must not be imprisoned as they were before -

“But your Perfection we cannot have them walking free, you would be inviting another Tevinter.”

Leliana turned at that familiar shrill tone and found herself looking into the pale eyes of Iona.  Another voice rose up from the table and the former seneschal hid her sneer.  Victoire, another of Justinia’s nemesis, had… unfortunately survived the war and now seemed determined to thwart Leliana at every turn.

“She is right Divine Victoria.  I know you find our squabbles tedious but the small things we speak of here are far reaching in ways, I'm sure even  **we** , can't understand.  Let's table this discussion about the mages for now, let us pray to the Maker for guidance on such an important issue and agree to discuss it again on the morrow yes?”

Divine Victoria watched as the other Grand Clerics slowly began to nod and agree, some with pained uncertainty painted on their faces.  The redhead clenched her hand into a fist under the table, digging her nails into her palm.  At least she knew just how much of an uphill battle she would face.  From the looks around the table it seemed the majority of them had already made up their minds, had already discussed such things probably in the two years between the explosion at the conclave and now; the two years she and countless others, including mages, fought to keep people like this safe.  She warred with her outrage and for once considered adopting Cassandra’s method of hitting things when she was angry but the thought of the seeker replaced the frustration with worry.

She dragged herself back to the present ( _ she could scarcely entertain those thoughts here _ ) and gave a polite nod of her head towards her enemy.

“That is good advice. Let's us pray for the Maker to guide our decision in so grave a matter.  This meeting is adjourned until then.”

She stood, ignoring the murmur of voices and headed back to her rooms, nodding at the two Templars that stood watch at the door.  She shut the heavy slab of carved wood and quietly bolted the door before shedding the stifling robes and heavy headdress, setting them aside so they could be fussed over and put away at a later time.  She absentmindedly ran her fingertips through her hair, musing at the growing length and wondering what Cassandra would say when she saw it.  The thought made her lips curl into a slow smile as she imagined the surprise on the other woman’s face and at the same time made her ache to see the seeker again.  

Leliana loosed a heavy sigh and walked over to the window to look out over the gardens, crossing her arms over her chest, hugging herself as another wave of loneliness washed over her.  She missed the seeker more than she’d thought possible; that skeptical scowl, the rare smile she was sure was only for her, and the rolling calm that seemed to spread whenever the other woman was around.  It was that, more than anything, that she missed - the intimacy of the casual friendship they had built in the decade of working together, of sharing the frustrations felt at completing their assigned tasks, the talks and arguments they had over differing views of their faith.

She tensed as as shadow fell over her window, hands immediately gripping the hidden weapons she kept on her person at all times.  She slid into a dark corner, adrenaline flooding instincts she refused to let go lax as she prepared for her would be assassin.

“Sister Nightingale?”

The quiet voice stilled her hand and the Divine sheathed her daggers as she walked towards the window, holding back the curtain for her most trusted agent.  The elf looked back at her, the barest hint of a smile curving thin lips as she held out a bundle of parchment, including a few ragged letters.

“Forgive the intrusion but your guards make it difficult to gain audience.  Scout Harding made a drop in the Hinterlands a few days ago.  I thought you would like to review its contents immediately.  The letters are from the Inquisitor and Seeker Pentaghast.”

Leliana masked the urge to snatch the bundle of papers from her agent’s hand and tear at the letter from Cassandra.  Instead she pointed at the small table to her left, “Leave it there.  I will look over things shortly.”  

She caught the twitch of Charter’s brow and watched as the elf placed the packet where instructed.  Only then did she question further.

“Did Lace have anything to add that will not appear in the reports?”

Charter nodded, folding her hands behind her back and stared straight ahead, conscious that even though her mistress’s title had changed, there were still protocols that were expected.

“She said the party would camp outside the Eluvian near the dragon’s nest for three days while they resupply.  She also stated that they looked more worn than she could remember ever seeing them and that she had overheard Varric telling another scout that being in the Eluvian was shit worse than being in the fade.”

Leliana frowned, her eyes shifting towards the packet, curious as to what Cassandra had written.  She turned back to Charter and nodded.

“That will be all.  Come back in the morning.  I will have letters that will need sending.”

She watched as the elf nodded and crept back out the way she had came.  As soon as the window was latched Leliana turned to the bundle of parchment, carefully picking at the twined knot, loosening it before she pulled the small packet of letters from the top.  Cassandra's careful writing was easy to spot ( _ how many years had she been reading reports written in that same hand) _ but the rogue felt the difference as she slid a nail beneath the plain wax seal; this was the first time the seeker had ever written her anything else.  She opened the stiff paper slowly, eyes carefully taking in its contents.

 

_ Most Holy _

_ I know you will insist that I call you by your given name but it feels wrong to call you anything else now that you are who you are so that is that.  I wanted to write sooner but there is very little chance to do so here.  Making camp is perilous most nights and we have had to increase the number of us on watch.  Bull is walking the perimeter while I write this.  The enemy have been relentless and the whispers of spirits here are troubling.  We have been victorious in every battle and the Qunari appear to be retreating.  The mark has been growing but the Inquisitor is hiding the pain well.  It would be merciful to amputate but the mark has given us the advantage and I fear we may need it to face what lies ahead.   _

_ I will write more as I can.   _

_ Cassandra  _

 

Leliana fought the furrow of her brow and the pang of disappointment that there was not more.  She closed the letter, gasping in surprise as a small slip of paper fluttered down to the ground. She bent to pick it up, smiling as she recognized the coded words, her mind providing the cipher effortlessly.

_ I do not know if it is that we are traveling where the veil is thin but the world feels less bright now that I am away, in a way I am not used to.  It is hard to find the right words to say but… I miss your light Leliana.  I pray you are well. _

_ Yours _

 

Divine Victoria read the words back to herself carefully, relaxing into the warmth they gave her.  She could read Cassandra's hesitancy but it was expected.  She set the small note aside to be read over again at a later date and opened the next from the Inquisitor whose read similar to Cassandra's first though with much more detail.  His ending request eased the niggling worry that she'd had at watching Cassandra and the noble walk away after her coronation.  She was glad to know that the mage had given up his almost relentless quest to woo her seeker but she was curious as to just how far the flirtation between the young man and her friend had gone as he bade her to let Josephine know that he was well and that they would speak again soon.  

Her first thought was to immediately write the leader and demand to know what his intentions were, to remind him that Josephine was her friend and she would not let him play with her heart. ( _after all it_ _it was not so long ago he was completely smitten with Cassandra)_  Leliana tapped her fingers along the edge of the desk toying with the idea but she shelved such thoughts in favor of those much more pleasant.  She was grateful for Scout Harding’s information.  With the group so close she far as sure she could get word to her Hand before they resumed their mission.  A wicked smile curved her lips as she decided just what she would send back with Charter in the morning and the former bard pulled out a sheet of parchment from her private reserves and began coding a lengthy and, decidingly, iniquitous reply.

 

* * *

 

Cassandra bit back a groan as she lowered herself to the fallen log that served as a makeshift bench for the group.  She felt as though every inch of her body was bruised, muscles worn to exhaustion from the last battle, so much that even removing her armor had not helped.  She ravenously bit into a piece of dried meat, wincing at the hard way her stomach clenched with greed.  

“Mind if I eat with you?”

She looked up at the voice and gave a nod as she moved over to allow the mage enough room, her brow furrowing in concern as the mark on his palm crackled, green light arcing up his forearm.  

“I asked you once if it hurt and you said no.  Is that still the case?”

Maxwell turned towards the seeker, surprised by the question and by the concern in her voice.  Adopting the teasing tone he knew she disliked he flashed her a wink.

“Why Cassandra… I didn’t know you cared.  If I said yes, would you offer to kiss it better?”

Cassandra humphed and rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to her rationed food.  She shot the younger man a glare as he chuckled and took a bite of his own meal.

“Forgive me, I couldn’t resist.”

The seeker sighed and took another bite, chewing slowly before swallowing.  “I do care.  You are my friend.  I do not like to see you in pain.”

The Inquisitor nodded, reaching out to lightly touch the seeker’s arm.  “I know and I don’t think a simple kiss will make this go away.  I appreciate your concern Cassandra.  The mark has always felt wrong and the pain has worsened.  Solas was going to try and cure it, after we defeated Corypheus of course but then he… well… you know…”

Cassandra nodded before taking a long draw from her waterskin.  Solas.  The name brought a wave of feeling with it; suspicion for the way he left right after the defeat of Corypheus, curiosity at why he felt he had to flee after the battle and worry that perhaps, he too, was another of her mistakes along with a strange certainty that they would see him again.  As if reading her thoughts that deep voice spoke again, almost to reassure her.

“Solas and I were friends.  I know I will see him again one day and until then I will be fine.  I made many mistakes before my Harrowing I cannot say I am unused to pain.”

Cassandra turned to look over at the man and found herself slowly returning his easy smile.  “I have seen the way you fight Inquisitor,  If you were not used to pain before, I am most certain you are used to it now.”

The mage laughed and studied the seeker beside him doing the same.  He had felt the strain in their friendship since he had foolishly kissed her and the thought of such a thing ruining their relationship had caused him many a sleepless night.  He still did not know the identity of the man he had lost her affections to but it no longer stirred his jealousy.  He felt his lips curl into a different sort of smile as a different woman’s face flashed behind his eyes and opened then as a firm hand clapped his shoulder.  He looked up as Varric sat down, chuckling as Cassandra predictably left the roar of the fire for her tent.  He caught the dwarf’s shrug and shook his head before falling into easy conversation with the rogue.

 

* * *

 

She felt lighter as she stripped off the leather she had worn and lay down on cool fur.  It felt good to laugh again, it had felt good to sit there without the shadow of unrequited attraction between them.  It was something that had not been possible before and strangely it made her miss Leliana all the more.  She pictured her now as she shifted her body, trying to get comfortable for sleep.  She wondered at how she was adjusting to the role of Divine and just how far she would push the Grand Clerics with some of her more radical ideas.  Cassandra turned over to her side, remembering the way she had held her, watching her sleep, red gold lashes fluttering against pale cheeks as the sweat of shared exertion dried on her skin.  She wished they had more time, that she had not foolishly left for two months to hunt dragons in her determination not to let herself get caught up in the way she felt.  A smile tugged at her lips.  A lot of good that had done.  She was grateful that Leliana had sought her out, hunted her down and forced her to steal more days together even though all it had done was give her a taste of something she would never have again.

Cassandra sighed and rolled back over onto her back, folding her hands behind her head as she stared up at the canvas fabric of the tent.  She could hear the others laughing and talking outside but she had no wish to join them for now.  The seeker chuckled derisively at herself.  She was acting like a lovesick fool from one of her stories.  The thought tugged a wan smile from her.  Such was the truth of the matter.  She was lovesick and this, more than anything, had proven she was just as much a fool as everyone else for wanting what she could not - should not have.  Another heavy sigh and the seeker rolled to the other side, staring at the light from the fire, the color soothing her slowly into a dream filled sleep.   

 

* * *

 

A loud giggle woke her and the seeker groaned as she opened her eyes to Sera’s leering face.

“Good dream yeah?  Mmmmmm don’t stop.  Right there.  Harder!  You’ve been going on about it for awhile.  Didn’t know you religious types were allowed to have fun dreams.  Want a hand… Ha Ha get it a hand… you know cuz you are one….  ”

Another explosion if giggling, followed by a hand gesture, that Cassandra was sure reddened her cheeks even more than they were already, and the flash of blinding sunlight as the canvas flap closed; Sera’s voice shouting out to the camp to leave the seeker alone so she can finish her naughty dream.  Cassandra growled and sat up, intent on finding the elf and forcing an apology when she felt the wetness smeared across her inner thighs.  Mortification set in quickly and Cassandra closed her eyes, willing the flush to go away.  She could not believe she had been so reckless.  Her brow furrowed; from now on she resolved to spend her time before sleep in silent contemplation or repeating parts of the Chant and not on reliving the scant memories the two of them had made.  Thank the Maker she had not said Leliana’s name.  The seeker scowled anew, berating herself internally once more.  She was not, could not be, Leliana anymore, she was Divine Victoria now - forever untouchable even to her.  

Cassandra sighed heavily and stood on shaky legs, her muscles still sore from the last series of battles.  She tucked all thought away and cleaned herself thoroughly before falling into her usual morning routine.  She stretched carefully, muttering bits and pieces of the Chant beneath her breath, seeking to cleanse her mind and empty herself of all emotion before daring to emerge.  Snatches of her companion’s conversations could be heard intermixed with the training drills Cullen required of his troops every morning.  It felt familiar and not all at once.   A part of her had missed this during the months she had spent alone searching for clues and fighting dragons but there existed a part of her that still wished for the silence of solitude and another part of her knew even that would not bring her peace.  

“Hey seeker, are you finished yet?  Should we save you breakfast or are you planning to spend the entire day hiding in your tent?”

Cassandra felt a growl of irritation rumble at the back of her throat at the teasing tone of Varric’s voice, followed by a flash of annoyance at the rumble of laughter from the others.  Maker take it. 

She huffed as she pulled on a fresh tunic, “Yes.  I am coming.”

The warrior regretted her choice of words immediately as they were met with raucous laughter.  She tugged on her boots, yanking at the laces, muttering darkly under her breath.

“Children.  I am surrounded by children.”

Cassandra ducked her head under the canvas flap and gave the entire party a long glare before snatching up the cold leftover stew from the night before, daring them to say anything else.  Eyes closing as the dwarf’s voice carried over.

“I thought doing that was supposed to make you happy… guess one hand wasn’t enough…”

Laughter erupted again and the warrior pointed her spoon threateningly at each of the smiling faces now sitting around the dying campfire.

“No more hand jokes.  We should be strategizing our next moves not laughing around a fire as though there is not a care in the world.”

Her statement was met with silence until Varric snickered, turning his face to whisper into Dorian’s ear, “But we can spend all day in our tents with our hands down - “

“Enough Varric, Cassandra is right.  We came here to supply and regroup and we should figure out our next -”

“Inquisitor, pardon the interruption but I have a message from Divine Victoria.”

The mage looked down at the freckled face of his favorite scout, flashing the women a grin, “So Divine Intervention… I’ll take it.  That was fast.  So what does her Perfection say?”

Scout Harding returned the warm smile before turning to point to a wagon almost overflowing with supplies.  “She sent food, armor and medicinal herbs.  Most Holy says that if you are saving the world, then the world should try to save you.”

The noble laughed and walked over to the wagon, eyes widening at the sheer volume of goods,  While he had expected assistance, he had not anticipated such generosity.  Curiously he sifted through the weapon’s chest and pulled free a well wrought stave painstakingly inscribed with a variety of runes.  He could feel the power pulsating off of it and held it up in wonder.

“When the circle’s fell, the Templars saved as much as they could and brought it back to be housed within the Chantry’s vaults.  The Chantry only kept the very best.”

The Inquisitor turned at the accented voice and raised a brow at the seeker.  “And we are just finding out about this now?”

Cassandra nodded.  “The Chantry has been frozen without a Divine to guide them.  Even if the Grand Cleric’s had known, they would not have felt it proper to take it upon themselves to act.  This will anger them.”

The Free Marcher frowned slightly, turning his attention back to the wagon of goods.  “Why would this anger them?  Would they rather we fail and allow the Qunari to invade?”

The seeker sighed, hand running over a silverite breastplate.  “The Grand Clerics rarely act.  They would rather horde the power their position gives them.  They prefer for the Divine to do the same.  Justinia did not and Leliana will not.  This will give them another dagger to point her way.”

The mage caught the resignation in the seeker’s tone and studied the warrior for a moment, noting the concern that flashed briefly across the strong angles of her face.

“You are worried about her.”

It was a statement more than a question but Cassandra nodded anyway.  “I am torn by duty.  I cannot be in two places at once and this is, by far the more immediate of dangers but I will never forgive myself if - “

She was startled by the firm hand that gripped her shoulder, turning her to face the young leader.

“Divine Victoria will be fine.  She is surrounded by her people; anyone of whom would be willing to sacrifice themselves for her.  She is not without protection -”

Cassandra cut across the man’s words, her frustration rising with every word spoken. “She cannot know everything.  She does not have eyes everywhere.  She is not the Maker.”

Trevelyan nodded.  “Peace Cassandra.  I know she is not the Maker but she is his representative.  Surely he would see her safe.”

The seeker shook her head a self deprecating chuckle escaping her lips.  “Tell that to Divine Justinia and all those lost at the Conclave.  We plan and the Maker laughs.  This is how it has always been.”

She paused and sighed.  “I know you are trying to comfort me Inquisitor but in this, there can be none.   I must simply have faith that she will be alright.”

She thought to say more but turned as a voice called her name and found herself face to face with Charter who held two sealed letters.  Cassandra took hers, frowning slightly at the weight of the parchment and watched as the mage beside her popped off the wax seal with a flick of his fingers.  The seeker fixed the young man with a raised brow, feeling vindicated that he had the courtesy to at least look admonished before turning his attention to the letter’s contents a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.  She looked at her own letter, fingertips playing with the seal.

“I could remove it if you’d like but I image you will be reading yours away from prying eyes.”

Cassandra froze, instantly on guard.  She turned to the mage and frowned.  “Why do you say that?”

The Inquisitor shrugged as he re-read the short note from Josephine and looked up at the seeker, surprised by the worry clearly painted on her face.  

“You’re her right hand.  I’m sure there are things said between the two of you that others should not be privy to.”

Hiding her relief behind a huff, the warrior made her leave and walked back towards her tent, stopping as she noticed the rest of the companions still sitting where she had left them.  Not wanting to become the subject of another round of teasing, the seeker turned and headed towards the water and found a shaded area.  She slipped free the small knife she kept hidden in her boot and slid the blade beneath the red wax seal.  Her eyes widened as a slim packet fell free of the parchment and she lifted the note attached to it even as a familiar scent caught her attention.

 

_ In case you were running low _

 

Cassandra opened the packet slowly, lips twisting in surprise as she lifted the salve to her nose, inhaling deeply.  She had run out days ago and the herbal concoction was one of the only things she’d ever found to ease the tense ache of her muscles after long bouts of combat.  How Leli… Divine Victoria had known… the seeker smiled fondly and shook her head as she carefully folded the packet shut again.  She would make use to the ointment before bed and finish working out the stiffness in her limbs with a good sparring match once morning came.  She sat the gift aside and turned her attention towards the letter, slowly unfolding the thick parchment.  The seeker froze as another, far more haunting scent, filled her senses and she gave the paper a quick cursory sniff, eyes closing as a shudder worked its way up her spine.

Andraste’s grace… she would know that beguiling floral smell anywhere.  She felt a sense of foreboding mixed with a healthy dose of curiosity as she examined the multiple sheets the Divine had written.  Concern caused her eyes to move quickly over the letters, her frustration mounting as she realized the entire message was coded.  Huffing in annoyance, Cassandra frowned as she pulled a quill and parchment from her travel bag and set about deciphering the lengthy message, working each letter methodically, curious as to what has prompted such correspondence.  The seeker lost herself in the translation, unconscious of the time that ticked away until the ache in her shoulders and lower back forced her to take a break.  She looked up, eyes widening at the sight of a setting sun and quickly gathered her work, stuffing the letter, ointment and translation into her bag.  The seeker made her way back to camp, surprised when Sera met her just outside..

“Ya know… I was just havin a go at you.  You weren't making sounds, just a little toss and turn right? We had some laughs though, good fun yeah?  Anyways just thought you should know…”

Cassandra watched as the flustered elf ran back before releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.  It felt… strange to be apologized to and by Sera of all people.  Shaking her head she made for her tent, stopping as the Inquisitor and Iron Bull called to her to join them.  She eyed the two men and then her bag and sighed heavily; the letter would just have to wait until after evening meal.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and for commenting/leaving kudos - it is all most appreciated :)


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